so upset :(

[kirstybumx3]

I hate to moan about OH, because I love him dearly and he really doesn't get the acknowledgement he deserves for the things he does for me.
but today he has really hurt me!

so to cut the story short, he had a new phone and in the phone shop was given a piece of paper with a code on, which he was to take back to store with his old phone after wiping the contents, to get a cash trade in.
we were going to return the phone this morning before he had to leave for work, but when he went into the bag with his new phone contract agreement, the piece of paper wasn't there.
this was suddenly MY fault and I had moved it. (I haven't even seen the piece of paper, haven't touched the bag with the documents in!)

he started throwing everything around trying to find this piece of paper. emptied the wardrobe of his clothes to check pockets, threw my ironing across the room to check underneath it, threw the cushions off the sofa to check underneath them, trashed the kitchen and all of the storage drawers...
whilst shouting at me the whole time that he is sick of me moving things and I should leave things alone (I honestly haven't touched it!), then in the next breath telling me I live like a scruff and I need to start doing things instead of sitting on my ass while he is at work.... ( I don't know why he said this, the house is not a mess at all, there is a pile of freshly ironed clothes in the lounge that needs to be put away, thats all)

the whole time im sat on the floor sobbing trying to explain that I haven't touched it and that I will try and look for it, but I don't know what im looking for because I haven't seen it.

in the end we took too long looking for it and he had to leave for work, before he left for work he told me how he is sick of the way I back chat (im not a child, I will say what I want to when I want to, if he has a go at me im not going to sit there and take it, even though I pretty much did!) and that he hopes im happy with myself, and if I don't find this piece of paper that I have moved then I will be giving him the money myself that he should have got for his phone, and when he comes back from work he expects the house tidied and the paper found as he KNOWS ill find it because ive moved it...
he then continued to call me a f**king tw*t as he slammed the door and left for work leaving me crying on the floor.....


I totally think he has been unreasonable today and I am really angry/upset with him!
what makes it worse is he is working quite far from home today, and has to travel over a hour each way on a busy motorway, and its scary enough for me when we are on good terms, but the thought of anything happening to him when he has left me without a kiss or a cuddle, or even saying bye, is breaking my heart and I just cant bring myself to calm down

im really sorry about moaning I just needed to let it out somewhere and I don't really want to be moaning to friends/family about OH for them to think hes a really bad person because honestly he isn't, I don't know whats wrong with him today!

 

[nabo86]

I'm sorry he's treating you like this I'm hoping that this is out of character for him!

personally there is no way i would be looking for that piece of paper now until he apologises for the way he spoke to you and I would leave the house a mess until he helps tidy it up - i would not let him get away with throwing such a tantrum!

have you got family close by you could visit or a friend you could meet for coffee? anything to take your mind off it for a little while and get some support and a much needed hug

 

[Lovemybump1]

What an ar*ehole. That was totally uncalled for. He had better do a lot of making up. He should never, ever speak to anyone like that, let alone someone he loves, and certainly not someone who is pregnant. Be strong.

 

[Whimsy82]

Aww you poor thing...

If he's really not a bad guy, then chances are he will feel guilty once he's calmed down.

My DH and I normally have a great relationship and he is so compassionate and patient with me but we've had a few big arguments since getting pregnant. Our men are under a lot of stress too...

HOWEVER his behavior was totally uncalled for and you did nothing wrong so try not to feel guilty. No matter how frustrared either one of you gets, name calling should never take place. So I feel for you. *hugs*

 

[Dani_Ldn]

Agree with the others, that was totally uncalled for. If I were you I would go out & leave the house exactly as he left it, don't even bother looking for the paper because if you do find it he will just think that he is right. If he is anything like my hubby, he will get home & realise what a dick he was & apologise. I bet he finds the paper in his pocket or car or something.

 

[CatherineK]

That is waaaay out of line. I would leave my husband for an abusive tirade like that. Seriously. If I were you I'd at least not touch a thing in the house and not be home when he got home, for sure. He's have to apologize big time and clean any mess he made himself before I would think of returning.

 

[lolita1990]

Not cool but we all do and say things that we don't mean. You'll probably find that he'll come back from work tonight and apologise profusely for his actions.

Talk to him about it as its obviously out of character for him to behave this way. Sounds like a ridiculous argument that me and my OH would have before making up and being best friends again.

Of course, he should never, ever have treated you this way but we all get angry at times and behave out of line. Hope you get it sorted hon x x

 

[kirstybumx3]

Its totally not like him, which I think is why it upset me so much!
ive had such an emotional day since, every little thing has made me cry... urgh.

he did call me as soon as he got to work and said sorry for the way he behaved, he explained that working away for very long hours every day is getting on top of him and that hes annoyed with not having time to do anything at all other than work, eat and sleep but he shouldn't have taken it out on me... im glad he realises ")

now im just hoping he comes home in a better mood, even though it will be real late and I might be sleeping, ill try to stay awake to greet him.
men eh? they sure do test us x

 

[shanny]

Thi sis so the sort of thing my husband would do................really they are cross at themselves as it is their own paper to keep safe ..................nad we are there to blame ..............xxxxxxxxxxx

 

[Mrs.Mcguin]

It might not be like him but that doesn't mean you should let him get away with it either. My OH would never do something like that...however, I'm not saying he hasn't made bad choices in his words. But let me tell you..I put him in his place and never tolerate being treated that way. I've been in my share or abusive relationships and how he treated you was abusive and nothing short of belittling. Him telling you not to talk back to him...what is that about? You are not his child. You demand respect from that man and do not under any circumstance make excuses for his behaviour. If you let him get away with it this time...you will start seeing this behaviour more often.

Like the others said..make him clean up his mess he made and don't give in to him until he gives you a proper apology.

 

[kirstybumx3]

It might not be like him but that doesn't mean you should let him get away with it either. My OH would never do something like that...however, I'm not saying he hasn't made bad choices in his words. But let me tell you..I put him in his place and never tolerate being treated that way. I've been in my share or abusive relationships and how he treated you was abusive and nothing short of belittling. Him telling you not to talk back to him...what is that about? You are not his child. You demand respect from that man and do not under any circumstance make excuses for his behaviour. If you let him get away with it this time...you will start seeing this behaviour more often.

Like the others said..make him clean up his mess he made and don't give in to him until he gives you a proper apology.

Thanks for this post
He knows he has done bad and really hurt me, he could tell by the way I spoke on the phone. I haven't moved a thing all day, in fact I went out all ay and I haven't even done the daily household chores, he can do it.
I 100% wont tolerate it and any other time would be shouting right back at him if he was to react that way, pregnancy has just made me ridiculous and everything upsets me
x

 

[Mrs.Mcguin]

It might not be like him but that doesn't mean you should let him get away with it either. My OH would never do something like that...however, I'm not saying he hasn't made bad choices in his words. But let me tell you..I put him in his place and never tolerate being treated that way. I've been in my share or abusive relationships and how he treated you was abusive and nothing short of belittling. Him telling you not to talk back to him...what is that about? You are not his child. You demand respect from that man and do not under any circumstance make excuses for his behaviour. If you let him get away with it this time...you will start seeing this behaviour more often.

Like the others said..make him clean up his mess he made and don't give in to him until he gives you a proper apology.

Thanks for this post
He knows he has done bad and really hurt me, he could tell by the way I spoke on the phone. I haven't moved a thing all day, in fact I went out all ay and I haven't even done the daily household chores, he can do it.
I 100% wont tolerate it and any other time would be shouting right back at him if he was to react that way, pregnancy has just made me ridiculous and everything upsets me
x

Good for you. You definitely have the right to be upset here...you being pregnant and hormonal does not excuse his behaviour. (If that's what you meant by that?) or maybe you meant by how you reacted to his behaviour.

In any case...I'm proud of you for not cleaning up

 

[TwoRdue]

My oh is the same with paper work, I always tell him to file it but he doesn't and when he can't find it it is always my fault but in know way would he ever do that or get away with it, I would have been throwing his stuff out as he was throwing things around. He does not pit up with shit (sometimes ignores it) from me I will not put up with it from him.. I am very vocal and will stand up to him even if he is twice as big as me (my mum says I have some big balls) but I know that he will not hurt me in the end.

Good on you for going out and not doing anything and I hope that he fully understands why you didn't clean up after that and does not continue like that. Stress is know good for you or baby so make sure you pamper yourself to.x