So worried it's making me sick

[JackiePed]

HOW does anyone get through the first trimester after losing a LO? I swear I'm just hyperventilating this morning, I am so tied up in knots. I'm only 4 weeks, so I really can't get any reassurance for another few weeks. I'm so afraid of going in for a scan and discovering it's gone again.....

Is it common to miscarry twice in a row if you've had 2 healthy pregnancies prior? i have 2 beautiful children, and I took it for granted that my 3rd pregnancy would go smoothly-- so it was a huge shock to discover I was miscarrying. Now... I can't stop worrying. I am so mad that this is stealing my joy!! I want to be on cloud nine, I am feeling so good, I am getting lots of exercise, I want to just be the happiest pregnant woman ever-- and I can't.

Anyone have any tips on getting through this??

 

[zimmy]

I don't really have any great advice for you, as I'm still TTC after my mc. The only thing I can tell you (and myself), is that 'what will be, will be".. It is so completely out of our hands. While it would be fabulous to relax and enjoy every day of your pregnancy, the truth is if you worry every day of it instead it won't change the outcome at all, good or bad.

Congratulations on your pregnancy I'm sure the worry will ease week after week, so if you're a little stressed right now just remember that it won't last forever

 

[Mizze]

You do it one day at a time Jackie - its the only advice we can give you

The 1st tri is long hard and worrysome as hell. But it helps to think as positively as you can and do things to reduce your stress levels if you can - much easier said than done I know but each day without bad news is a good day and a day closer to that all important 12 wk scan.



Also - from what I learnt about my mmc's - it doesnt matter what pregnancies you have or havent had before - if the baby isnt developing then nature will take its course and there is NOTHING any of us can do to stop that. Its hard as hell on all of us.

But with 2 healthy pregnancies previously - you do at least know you can carry to term and have healthy babies at the end of it, hold on to that thought.
Also the outcome of your last pregnancy has no bearing on the outcome of this one so one mc doesnt have any relation to your current pregnancy.

HTH.

Mizze xx

 

[Ahren]

I had a miscarriage in March and was adamant that i didn't want to know if it was going to happen again. I ended up being told i was pregnant by my hairdresser who 'predicted it' and did a test at 5 weeks. I didn't tell my DH untill i was 11 weeks and up until my booking appointment i ignored the fact that i was pregnant completly, if i started thinking about it i did something to take my mind off it. It would be nice to enjoy a pregnancy but its so nerveracking after a miscarriage! My mum always says 'what will be will be'

 

[rai2]

I really feel for you as I know that when I eventually find the courage to TTC again I will be terrified too! But everyone is right, there is sadly nothing you can do and there is no reason to think it will happen to you again!! Be kind to yourself, try to relax and sending you lots of positive vibes x

 

[Aquarius24]

I know EXACTLY how you feel hun, I am also 4 weeks and had MMC that was only detected at the dating scan. I am so nervous...Im hoping to get an early scan to give me a bit of reassurance - have you asked about one?x

 

[JackiePed]

Thank you everyone, your words are very reassuring...and also help me 'see sense'. It's funny, because on the TTC boards, I always advised gals to stop symptom spotting, because it won't "make you pregnant", and so many symptoms can mean pg or not pg... so I said, 'Either you're pregnant or you're not, and only a test will tell you...and you can't get dependable test results until at least 8-9 dpo, prob more..."

and I guess I should follow my own advice! I can google every worrysome symptom and make myself sick, but in reality, you're right.... it won't make the baby stick, and it won't tell me the future either.

As far as whether I've asked for an early scan, I will be *begging*. I'm actually seeing a new doctor, so I don't know what to expect. My previous doctor was very kind, but he was always impossible to get into, and even though I told them I was fretting about another miscarriage and just needed the security of early prenatal care, they told me he couldn't get me in until December, and that he won't see OB patients until 11 weeks.

So I switched doctors, I need a doctor through this that has time for me, and will take my case as an individual. Basically, I need a compassionate doctor who's not overloaded with patients.

I'm requesting blood work when I go in next week to check the rising of my hormone levels, and I will be begging and pleading for a scan at 6 weeks to check on the heartbeat. My last m/c the baby stopped developing at 5 weeks and I didn't find out until 7 weeks.

Thank you again... it's funny how simple words can help put my head on straight...

 

[Mizze]

Thank you everyone, your words are very reassuring...and also help me 'see sense'. It's funny, because on the TTC boards, I always advised gals to stop symptom spotting, because it won't "make you pregnant", and so many symptoms can mean pg or not pg... so I said, 'Either you're pregnant or you're not, and only a test will tell you...and you can't get dependable test results until at least 8-9 dpo, prob more..."

and I guess I should follow my own advice! I can google every worrysome symptom and make myself sick, but in reality, you're right.... it won't make the baby stick, and it won't tell me the future either.
As far as whether I've asked for an early scan, I will be *begging*. I'm actually seeing a new doctor, so I don't know what to expect. My previous doctor was very kind, but he was always impossible to get into, and even though I told them I was fretting about another miscarriage and just needed the security of early prenatal care, they told me he couldn't get me in until December, and that he won't see OB patients until 11 weeks.

So I switched doctors, I need a doctor through this that has time for me, and will take my case as an individual. Basically, I need a compassionate doctor who's not overloaded with patients.

I'm requesting blood work when I go in next week to check the rising of my hormone levels, and I will be begging and pleading for a scan at 6 weeks to check on the heartbeat. My last m/c the baby stopped developing at 5 weeks and I didn't find out until 7 weeks.

Thank you again... it's funny how simple words can help put my head on straight...

Do not Google - ever. As you so rightly say it does nothing but stress you out and it cannot tell you what is happening to you or what might or might not happen in the future. And that goes for anyone else reading - it causes so much angst and fright on this (and im sure other) boards when people have googled something and really terrified themselves. I have a scan in a couple of hours to check my babies growth and the 1 thing I have stopped myself doing is googling "low fundal height" or "slow growth" etc.

Hope everything goes well this time and your Dr gives you an early scan - I found mine to be extremely reasurring.

Mizze xx