"Some people are just incompatible" - the wise words of my sister

[grassgreener]

Am I right to feel annoyed and upset with her? We have been TTC for 16 months and I have confided in a few friends and family members. I have had the usual well meaning yet useless advice such as "don't stress - it will happen". I was completely dumbfounded when my sister just blurted out with this then changed the subject to her herself as if it was a non event.
We have been told there is nothing wrong with us - so why aren't I pregnant?She on the other hand has had 3 "mistakes" and gets pregnant just by looking at her husband.
I just feel completely let down as I supported her through a very difficult time and was there for her. This is her thank you to me.
I also am worried there is an element of truth in what she said although deep down I know this is ridiculous.

 

[Take2]

You are right to feel annoyed, that was a thoughtless and hurtful thing to say. And completely ridiculous. It seems in my experience the least suitable people seem to conceive so easily and lovely grounded couples face all the obstacles.
Having said all of this she possibly just didn't think before she spoke and may not have realised how nasty her comment was.
It really is hard to find people to talk to who really understand how hard it is TTC and constantly seeing BFNs month after month. Thank god for Baby and Bump hey!

 

[forgetfulname]

I would be annoyed and upset with my sister. Try talking to her about how upsetting it was.

If both of you are healthy and have nothing wrong, than maybe it's just timing or stress? I wouldn't worry too much about what she said and I'll be sure to send a lot of baby dust your way.

 

[grassgreener]

Thanks, I took the plunge and signed up here today. I feel like I am burdening people around me when I talk about my problems. My husband is also the strong, silent type. I think i'll find it comforting here knowing there are other people in the same boat as me.

My sisters reasoning for this was that she knew a couple who were both tested and were told they were both healthy. They were TTC for 10 years with no success. They eventually both remarried and her friend got pregnant within a few months with her new husband.
Surely there must have been a male factor here??

 

[Take2]

It sounds like it was male factor to me..or perhaps she was just more relaxed and happy in the new relationship..anyway I have heard of people who have tried for 10 years and pretty much accepted a life without kids and one day..boom..pregnant. The human body is a mysterious thing.
Well welcome to Baby and Bump. A lot of people on here have been trying for a long time so will completely be able to relate to the frustrations you are feeling. Vent away..we all do!

 

[Smiler82]

Yes, you're allowed to be annoyed and upset with her! That was a pretty thoughtless thing to say. But in my experience, many people can be pretty idiotic with their comments when ti comes to something they have NO idea about. She can't possibly know what it's like to be ttc for so long, it's just a shame she couldn't have been a little more sensitive. I've had a hard time with friends and family the last few years during our ttc journey and my miscarriages. People just don't get it a lot of the time. Or, they're uncomfortable talking about it so they say something silly then move on. I guess there's a chance she feels bad that she's had it so easy and you haven't. I know my sister feels bad that she fell pregnant so easily and quickly with her 2 and we're still trying for our first.

But you've definitely come to the right place, we all know what you're going through Be warned - the board can get a little addictive haha