Sometimes babies actually want to be left alone

[maggie111]

If that is what attached parenting is then every single mother does that, whether they co-sleep, baby wear or whatever.

I do not sling and I do not co-sleep and I still have a zero tolerance to his crying. If he is crying I am giving him whatever he needs. I really truly do not think I do attachment parenting!!

 

[kissesandhugs]

If that is what attached parenting is then every single mother does that, whether they co-sleep, baby wear or whatever.

I do not sling and I do not co-sleep and I still have a zero tolerance to his crying. If he is crying I am giving him whatever he needs. I really truly do not think I do attachment parenting!!

I'm not saying that's the definition of AP. There's a LOT more to it than that.

 

[JessicaM123]

yep, my lo happily spends up to an hour playing by himself on a playmat or on the floor, he's recently discovered his feet so he wants to do that, no cuddles allowed!

 

[sequeena]

Thomas has only just become more independent and he's happy to spend hours in his room reading, playing and sometimes just laying in bed with his bears.

I would have loved bouts of peace and quiet when he was younger but he was a baby who had to be practically super glued to me

 

[ispeakinsongs]

I read a lot on here and elsewhere about the benefits of having your baby close to you - as in, literally attached to you via a carrier or whatever as you potter about. That babies always want to be with someone, in their arms, on them etc.

But sometimes, don't you think a baby just wants to be left alone? My LO often wants to be with me, but sometimes, when I hold her, she cries and it's not cos she's hungry or needs a change. She just wants to be left alone to sleep. I put her in her crib and then she's quite happy. Or in her bouncy chair and she'll coo and have fun trying to reach for the attachments.

So it isn't a case of leaving your child alone so s/he doesn't get too clingy. It can simply be a case of your LO needing some time alone to chill? If that makes sense? And wondering if the whole thing of being attached to your LO all the time might actually sometimes go against what they actually want?

Am I even making sense?!

totally agree with you!

 

[flamingpanda]

I read a lot on here and elsewhere about the benefits of having your baby close to you - as in, literally attached to you via a carrier or whatever as you potter about. That babies always want to be with someone, in their arms, on them etc.

But sometimes, don't you think a baby just wants to be left alone? My LO often wants to be with me, but sometimes, when I hold her, she cries and it's not cos she's hungry or needs a change. She just wants to be left alone to sleep. I put her in her crib and then she's quite happy. Or in her bouncy chair and she'll coo and have fun trying to reach for the attachments.

So it isn't a case of leaving your child alone so s/he doesn't get too clingy. It can simply be a case of your LO needing some time alone to chill? If that makes sense? And wondering if the whole thing of being attached to your LO all the time might actually sometimes go against what they actually want?

Am I even making sense?!

You're absolutely right. I remember in the early days I would often read on here about people rocking their babies to sleep. Hadley absolutely hates that. It took us a while to work that out but once we did we all started getting a lot more rest. It's not that she's not a huggy baby, she really is, at least with me. But she decides when she wants hugs and when she doesn't. She may look like her father but she is me in personality and I already see her as an independent and stubborn little soul! Learning to read her was the key to understanding when to be hands on and when she simply needs to be put in her cot for some rest. One size doesn't fit all with parenting. I think we all just have to do the best we can and worry less about how others are doing things.

 

[DaisyBee]

Megan wasn't cuddly as an infant but also wanted to be held a lot. I didn't realize until she was a toddler that physical touch was very stimulating for her. She was overstimulated a lot as a baby as she was so prone to it. She is much cuddlier as she got older. Even now if she is overstimulated she prefers to lay beside me in her bed to read a book vs sit on my lap in the rocking chair. I actually think quite a lot of babies are like that. Like to be held, but if overstimulated I think they do best being put down. Jordan during an overstimulated meltdown at around 4 months. No matter what I did when holding her she just cried. I put her on the floor in my room, took all her clothes off, and turned off white noise. She instantly calmed down.

 

[IrelandsOwn]

My daughter is happiest lying flat on her playmat. She hates restraints (car seat, bouncy chair) and is very independent. I only now realise that all babies really are different

 

[aliss]

Most mothers are attachment parenting, there's just no label on it. At the end of the day, it means trying your hardest to love your baby and offers suggestions to help that bond. It doesn't literally mean to Velcro them.

I practiced AP with 2 children. One who I had zero bond with, so I held him, wore him, he was with me 24/7, and that is how I learned to love him. My 2nd, instant bond, I rarely hold him although he sleeps with me at night. He is happy to be by himself. The only principle is to just listen to his needs and what he wants (which ISN'T me, apparently! LOL!).