Son of a b****! (OH RANT)

[jessie_m]

Finally after searching for weeks with a doppler i finally found the baby's heart beat. Its so amazing and relieving. Almost everyone has the fear of a mmc and to know that the baby was still alive and beating away at 170 bpm was just the best experience of my life.
Well OH comes home and i showed him on the doppler and he says 'its really not that cool. Its a stupid heart beat and i dont see why you had to do that on my side of the bed cuz you got lube on the sheets' AHHHH!!! this infuriates me! It makes me feel stupid for being so excited and like he thinks this whole pregnancy is meaningless. He doesnt have to deal with the nausea 24/7 and puking 4 times a day. His nipples dont feel like itchy bruises. He doesnt have to go through any of this and yeah, hearing the heartbeat makes it all a little more worth it.
Anyone else having this problem?

 

[vanillastar]

Didn't want to read and run. Sorry hun

 

[Weeplin]

I would be angry too but I think men can be like this. They don't fully get it because they are not carrying the baby. I'm sorry though Next time do it on his side again and make sure you get the gel on his covers...or maybe I'm being too spiteful there hehe

 

[Banana10]

Sorry but there's no excuse for him to talk to you like that, that's just nasty. Have you tried sitting him down and talking about the pregnancy with him, what he feels, exactly what you're going through...? x

 

[marnie79]

aww hun, how mean some men really dont get the whole pregnancy thing, for them it starts when the baby is actually born and they can see it, where as for us as mummies it starts as a rule at conception iukwim.
really hope he starts taking more interest and gets excited with u hun xx

 

[msflowerfairy]

He sounds like a right muppet!

 

[daddy2b]

he says 'its really not that cool. Its a stupid heart beat and i dont see why you had to do that on my side of the bed cuz you got lube on the sheets'

What an idiot. I'm sorry but ask him how he would feel if his own dad said that about him.

Problems with OH's never cease to amaze me - some are just nasty, but this is unbelievable.

 

[10.Laura]

Really sorry you got that reaction. I know my OH is finding it a bit odd at the moment - he is getting excited, but it isn't the same as feeling the baby growing inside you. (Or feeling sick, knackered and throwing up when you try to brush you teeth.) I'm looking forwards to the scan when it is someting we can share in together, at the same time.

 

[Ducktales]

poor you, i think it might be that men dont come onto these forums, they dont google pregnancy like we do and therefore they really dont know about the risks of mc's and just how scary this all is, they think, well my mum had me and im fine, not "did she have any unsucessful pregnancies before me"

they have no concept of the fear and certainly my OH thinks i am over reacting when i talk about considering getting an early scan, he just says you are fine, why are you worrying, stop talking about it, you are healthy, having a baby is a normal process.

i think i personally would sit him down and have a long hard chat with him about just how you are feeling and how his selfish behaviour is not helpful, and how would he feel not knowing if things were going well or not with the little bean.

good luck

if that fails, start sobbing really loudly and make him feel guilty as hell !

 

[hope4bump]

Good luck and hope you have a h&h 9 months....don't allow him to ever talk to you like that Hun...you deserve so much better! X

 

[allaboard]

Wow, how unsupportive, upsetting and offensive. I hope he was just having an off day because treating someone you love like that is not on. "stupid heartbeat"?! Even the most emotionally distant man would muster up something, even if it were just neutral. I'm furious for you hun.

 

[Newt]

men dont get it at all do they

 

[Flowermommy]

Wow, wot a tool! Some men r just too selfish to even try to empathise. When I mentioned my backache the other day my hubby just said "is this it for the next 7 months?"!! I told him no, he could always sod off - soon came creeping round. Make sure u get him told just how much his words hurt u.

 

[RaspberryK]

Glad you found your heartbeat, we saw ours yesterday at an early ultrasound and it makes it feel more real and the symptoms worth ti!

xx

 

[jessie_m]

Thanks girls. Some of you made me laugh so much! Its just so confusing because he cares so much for me and treats me like im made of glass but when i talk about the baby and how it is NOW he doesnt care. Future baby he'll talk and care about. I guess something needs to be physical for him to care about. I try to remember that saying that a man becomes a father when he hold his baby. Just sometimes i want one of those OH's that cries at ultrasounds and gets excited over little things. He really is a sweet man it just surprises me how stone cold he can be when he's had a bad day. Thanks ladies.

 

[Braven05]

Ugh I'm so sorry...I'd have slapped my OH if he said something like that to me. He is generally pretty excited about it (or pretends to be - this is my first and he's done it twice already)...maybe not as excited as me but he at least tries which makes me feel better. Thats really shitty...what an ass to be so blah about it...I'm very sorry. Maybe you could try telling him how it makes you feel when he's like that?

 

[jessie_m]

Ive told him how it makes me feel and he just says i cant make him feel something he doesnt. I guess he's right.

 

[Braven05]

Ive told him how it makes me feel and he just says i cant make him feel something he doesnt. I guess he's right.

Ugh

 

[ethans_mummy]

wow i cnt belive ur OH reacted like the my OH was just as happy as i was to hear our babies heartbeat if ne thing he was a lil upset becasue i had heard it before him and a appointment he couldnt make it to xx

 

[allaboard]

Ive told him how it makes me feel and he just says i cant make him feel something he doesnt. I guess he's right.

Yeah that's true. In all other respects in life, you can't make someone feel something you feel and men are certainly less "involved" as us women in pregnancy lol, but isn't the point that you should expect more thought and respect as just his partner, never mind the baby issue. If you broke your leg, lost a parent, lost your job, you should expect a basic level of consideration as a human. It's the least you should expect from an adult relationship isn't it? Sorry if it's not the right thing to say Finding the heartbeat is amazing isn't it.