Sooo scared!!!!

[medic9114fun]

Sorry of this is a long one...

This is my first one and we have been trying for a year
I never thought any of this would bother me but ever since I got the positive test back I have been almost terrified of everything about this...

How my life and body will change, the pain, and even the pain of the epidural ( I dot deal with pain well at all)

I had a total melt down the day after the test with hubby, he is super happy, and he was Very old about all of it.

It isn't that I don't want this baby. I really do...
I'm just so scared of absolutely all of this

I'm 6 weeks tomorrow as far as we know. Blood work being done tomorrow an then hopefully the referal to to ob so I can hopefully get an appt
I'm sure ill feel better once I see or hear the baby

I'm scared of te pain of labour. I curl up and almost puke from my period cramps at times ( they get very bad)
And not sure how I feel about a massive needle in my spine but it has to be better than labour.

Sorry just need to get it off my chest and hopefully hear from others that may be able to help me through this

 

[jessicatunnel]

I think all pregnant women feel like that at some point. My daughter is a year old and I still sometimes miss how life was before her, but shes my absolute world and I wouldn't change a thing! My body didn't change all that much really. I'm not as tone as I was but for the most part I look the same.

I'm a huge wuss when it comes to pain, its ridiculous. I'm embarrassed at what a pansy I am. But I was in labor for fourteen hours before I got any pain medication. I'm unbelievably proud I even made it that long. When I got the epidural I was already in pain from contractions so I hardly noticed when they put the epidural in. I was just glad to have some relief!

Things may be scary now, but you just deal with things as they come. Stop worrying. And enjoy your pregnancy.

 

[Sugarlys]

Totally agree, Jess..I felt the same way at the beginning. It's really important to think in the moment when you are pregnant. Don't worry about all the things to come, just think about today. Don't think about labour yet, or about your body after. It is so important to your own mental health to not think about what lies ahead. You get through it all because you have to. Our bodies are made to do this, and although it's scary once it is over you have this beautiful little being who you created. It is really amazing.

Feel free to message me if you need to!! I am from Ontario too Oh, and I was terrified of the epidural needle but I had a shot of Fentalyn and didn't feel a thing.

 

[medic9114fun]

Thanks ... Glad to know its kinda normal. It's so hard too cause I can really talk to anyone I know that has a baby cause I live in a very small town and we don't want anyone knowing just yet....

Sometimes I'm totally fine and then I'm not... Damn horomones!

Also tryin very very hard to quit smoking, down from a pack a day to less than half and hoping to totally quit by end of weekend... I'm sure that's playing into it too.

Thanks so much

 

[Sugarlys]

Oh it's definitely normal...in fact if someone said they weren't scared I'd call them a liar!!

Good luck quitting, I'm sure that's never easy!

 

[jenniferttc1]

You will do fine! Yes labor hurts, and if you do want an epidural (which I was more afraid of than labor) most likely you won't feel it! They did mine during a contraction and I honestly did not feel it even go in, not even a pinch or them touching my back.

 

[Cryssie]

I was the biggest cry baby before my son was born. I cried and begged my husband to hold my hand when i had to get my first blood work done. I stressed every day about labor and pain. When they told me I'd probably need a c section because he was breech I bawled my eyes out.

The day i went in for my c section accepting the fact but still scared they did one last scan to find out he had turned. So then i was induced. He broke my water when i was 2cm along and started pitocin. My contractions were high and i barely felt them with no meds mind you. I finally asked for meds to help me sleep in the bed lol which was an iv med.

I stalled at 5cm. So i had to have a c section after all. When they came to give me the epidural i freaked and cried until they stuck me with the numbing needle. I was nervous the whole way into the room and kept asking for my hubby when he came in i cried a bit but it all changed when i heard Aleksander scream and cry. Then i fell asleep.

I was up the next day walking on one pain pill.

Even us scaredy cats surprise everyone even ourselves. It's ok to be scared. I'm pregnant with our second now and I'm nervous. But I've also had a blighted ovum before this one and had tons of blood work done so that's not a worry anymore. I also had a d&c which imo was 100 Times worse than my section. You'll get through this. And laugh on the other side about how nervous you were. Take each day at a time and breathe. Its all worth it in the end!

 

[tryn4]

I just popped in to reassure you its ok to be scared but the pain does have an ending point and it is soooo worth it. I've had 4 epidurals and yes during a contraction its uncomfortable but the relief is lovely after. Helps relax me to push that little one out. You will be fine! Congratulations!

 

[Popples1]

I was just about to start a thread like this so really glad to find someone else brave enough to express how they feel. I found out I was pregnant three days ago. We were trying but it was the first month and now it all feels like its happened a bit fast. I'm quite prone to anxiety / worry anyway but right now I'm descending into panic mode. I'm scared about how my body is going to change, how I'll feel about my baby, how different my life will be. I can't stop thinking about the things I won't be able to do anymore. I guess it's easier to grieve for things I have experienced and can remember than to get excited about something completely unknown. Worst of all, I feel incredibly guilty for feeling like this, and scared that its going to stress the baby out.

 

[AlwaysDreamin]

I hear you loud and clear!! The second I got my BFP, I felt exactly the same as you.

I'm 8 weeks now and I'm ashamed to admit that I don't feel like I've connected with my pregnancy because the fear I have is unbearable.
It's my first too, and although I've wanted this for so long, my fears are ruining it for me.

I have my midwife appointment in just under 2 weeks and I'm hoping she will at least be able to put some feelings to rest. On the upside, she sounds absolutely lovely and I'm so glad I have a nice midwife! Lol.
It's really hard not having anyone to talk to. My sister knows, she has a one year old, but tbh everything she says goes straight over my head.
I've even been thinking 'what if I die during childbirth!' - that's how dramatic I am! Anyone would think this is the 1800's the way I'm thinking! Lol.

But just know you are not alone, there's more scaredy cats out there! And this forum really does help, there's some lovely ladies on here who have been through it all, it helps to talk.
I'm here if you want to message me xx

 

[HappyHome]

I think we can all get scared at times, we worry and wonder if we're cut out to do this.
We are.
Yes labour hurts but you have months to mentally prepare yourself so focus on that. maybe look into some natal hynotherapy and positive labour/birthing affirmations. I thought it was a bit crazy at first but after my bad experience with dd1 (ending in general anaesthetic EMCS) I've gone on to have two more natural births. It took a while to get over my fear of it going wrong again but I'm so pleased I educated myself.

So good luck, and never feel alone because there is always someone on BnB to pull you along and offer advice xx

 

[Popples1]

I hear you loud and clear!! The second I got my BFP, I felt exactly the same as you.

I'm 8 weeks now and I'm ashamed to admit that I don't feel like I've connected with my pregnancy because the fear I have is unbearable.
It's my first too, and although I've wanted this for so long, my fears are ruining it for me.

I have my midwife appointment in just under 2 weeks and I'm hoping she will at least be able to put some feelings to rest. On the upside, she sounds absolutely lovely and I'm so glad I have a nice midwife! Lol.
It's really hard not having anyone to talk to. My sister knows, she has a one year old, but tbh everything she says goes straight over my head.
I've even been thinking 'what if I die during childbirth!' - that's how dramatic I am! Anyone would think this is the 1800's the way I'm thinking! Lol.

But just know you are not alone, there's more scaredy cats out there! And this forum really does help, there's some lovely ladies on here who have been through it all, it helps to talk.
I'm here if you want to message me xx

So nice to know I'm not alone. I hate being such a worrier! Xx

 

[Sabster]

I havent even given this any thought... Im still in mode: OMG Im pregnant!. and I havent digested the fact that this child will come out in 8 months hahha

I think we have to be courageous, which means just to have faith and trust ourselves that we can do it. I always told myself even before being pregnant " I can do this, I dont have a choice once its happening, so I might as well go with it" Im saying that now, but im sure it'll be a diff story once im pushing our baby out!

Im glad we get to share these worries, Im just more concerned about enjoying and connecting to my pregnancy and just do everything I possibly can to ensure that this little bean has a good chance.

 

[Sugarlys]

Popples, don't feel guilty for thinking that way!! It is so normal. It is a drastic life change and yes, things will be so different but you truly will wonder what you did before the baby was born. My son brings my husband and I so much joy. He gets home from work and the second he sees our son he instantly has a smile on his face. It has really brought out the best in us. Yes, there are challenges and yes there are moments when I would pay millions to get some sleep, but I wouldn't trade a second of it. Yes, my body has changed but I am working to accept that. More than anything it will just bring you intense amazement...amazement that your body can do that, amazement that this little one is part of you and amazement that you can ever love anyone so much. Again, it's not always rainbows and lollipops but those moments are few and far between. Don't sell yourself short...you will do it and you will be great at it!

 

[medic9114fun]

Wow I'm happy that I decided to write this now. I wasn't sure the response I would get but it's nice to know I'm not alone in that feeling

Always dreamin: I'm at 6 weeks today. I keep thinking once I see or hear something maybe I will feel more connected to this. But that's exactly how I'm feelin too and I feel horrible about it.

Some days are better than others for me but over all I guess I have to get used to it lol. It definitely helps to know I'm not alone though

 

[AlwaysDreamin]

Don't feel horrible about it. I know it's not nice feeling this way, but I guess it's natural. It's the fear of the unknown, human nature.
But I'm sure once we have our first scans and see our little ones, it will all be worth it. I just keep telling myself 'well, it can't be that bad otherwise women wouldn't keep having children' haha!

I'm sure we will be fine. I see my sister with her one year old and my heart melts, she's the sweetest little thing. And we'll have our own soon!
Plenty of women feel this way, especially with the first.... We can all do this together! Lol xx

 

[Popples1]

You ladies are my salvation I'm getting the odd, fleeting flashes of excitment but mostly am just terrified. So nice to have others to talk to...

One of my friends has a gorgeous 9 month old. I'm thinking of arranging to meet up and getting some good advice from her. He's a little stunner - even I am in love with him!

 

[cruise]

On this topic, I was told by a mother that the only thing that could possibly make you want for labor is having a 7-10 pound baby inside you!

I'm not worried about it at all. My guess is that by 40 weeks, I'll be so miserable that I'll be ecstatic once labor starts. Yeah, this thing's finally coming out!!

 

[tryn4]

Yup, you will be soooo glad. When u see that little face, those tiny fingers n toes you won't regret one second of the pain. I've been thru it multiple times and I would go back anyday. Fear of the unknown is just natural, no guilt needed. Take my expert advice you will have an easier time on labour if u deep breathe not hee hee hoo lol just normal deep breaths, and tell yourself to relax, that the end of pain is near with an awesome result!

 

[Popples1]

Ladies - if you google 'pregnant' and 'scared' there's a couple of other threads with a LOT of ladies feeling the same things. Reassuring to know there are more of us out there. I'm trying to counter my scary thoughts with positive ones like things I'm looking forward to doing with my little one as they grow up. My mum was also really helpful yesterday. She said 'when I was pregnant I thought "I don't know how to talk to a teenager", but it's not A teenager, it's YOUR teenager'.