Spending pregnancy apart from husband

[Ofireland]

My husband and I got pregnant about a year earlier than expected. He is involved in a training program at work, and will be transferring across states to his next rotation within 1 week of my due date. This is a 13 hour drive and would involve me switching OBs at the last minute or possibly traveling days postpartum. Additionally, I am experiencing Pelvic Girdle Pain, requiring me to see the chiropractor every couple weeks during my pregnancy. I am not thrilled with the birthing center in my home city (they overcharge my insurance and are not very friendly), and it is almost an hour away. The chiro, who is often booked, is 30 minutes away.

Now, it just so happens that my mom lives in a smaller city 3 minutes away from a fantastic birthing center and 5 minutes away from a great chiropractor with lots of availability. I have visited both and am very happy with them. She also lives 12 hours away from my husband, unfortunately. I have decided to stay with her for my prenatal care, and have been traveling back and forth between visits. Toward the end of my pregnancy, when it gets uncomfortable to drive and when my prenatal appointments are closer together, I plan to stay with her full time. That way I can have the baby somewhere I feel comfortable and not have to worry about moving at the last minute or going to a brand new midwife.

To me this solution makes a lot of sense, but is it weird? For some reason I have been being faced with judgement from people on the decision when I explain it. Today the chiro technician flat out asked me, "Doesn't your husband care?" after interrogating me about my situation. I can't tell if she's rude or is putting voice to what everyone is silently thinking. As far as my husband goes, of course he's disappointed to not be able to share some of the pregnancy moments, but he's going to fly out for the gender scan ultrasound and I have been giving him daily updates and staying with him between prenatal appointments. I'm about to leave this weekend to stay with him for two weeks before my next appointment, then I'll likely stay with him for another three before my gender scan. It's not ideal traveling back and forth, but it seems better than the alternative... Not sure why everyone thinks it's so odd. Is my logic being flawed by hormones or what?

 

[Princess Lou]

I haven't seen my husband since July 25th. I finally get to see him September 4th (can't wait).

I've also had a lot of "Doesn't he care?" comments but no one knows the situation and no once can judge.

We hate being apart but due to the circumstances we felt it was the best solution. He hasn't missed much as I'm late on in the pregnancy but he has missed watching my tummy move for the first time (he's only seen it via a video clip that wasn't very good), missed seeing me grow (going to be huge compared to when he last saw me) and he's missed the strong movements. Before we separated he was lucky to feel them as Little Man doesn't like being touched and often moves away but now he's so big you still feel them.

Separation is a hard choice but it's one that is not made lightly and insensitive comments don't help. It's not ideal but you have to speculate to accumulate and the sacrifice will be worth it in the end.

Good luck with the pregnancy and hope things turn out great for you.

 

[Whitesoxfan41]

You have to do what's best for you and your family! So many people judge what they have NO idea about. As long as it's working, it's nobody's business!

Good luck with the remainder of your pregnancy!!

 

[MamaKris]

My husband works out of town 5 days a week. I see hkm only on the weekends..8 days a month. He was only able to go to my first ultrasound. Now with my due date only 10weeks away...im not even sure he will make it to my delivery. Hes usually no less than 5 hours away. But he does it to support our family so I have no complaints. Honestly it takes a strong woman to do what we do!!

 

[briashayy]

My situation may not be the exact same, but mine currently works in the oil rigs. He took the job to be able to support us better, but there are times he's gone for 1-3 weeks at a time, it varies. And of course, texting and communicating isn't exactly easy. So while it is difficult, I know it's for the best. I, too, stay with my mother for support and to have someone around for the pregnancy in case anything happens or I need help. So I kind of understand where you're coming from.

Everyone is so used to the cliche being side by side during pregnancy, and while its ideal, it's not always possible :/ what's important is doing what you feel is best and right, and I think you're doing just that it's always important to be comfortable during your pregnancy!!

 

[Whitesoxfan41]

My situation may not be the exact same, but mine currently works in the oil rigs. He took the job to be able to support us better, but there are times he's gone for 1-3 weeks at a time, it varies. And of course, texting and communicating isn't exactly easy. So while it is difficult, I know it's for the best. I, too, stay with my mother for support and to have someone around for the pregnancy in case anything happens or I need help. So I kind of understand where you're coming from.

Everyone is so used to the cliche being side by side during pregnancy, and while its ideal, it's not always possible :/ what's important is doing what you feel is best and right, and I think you're doing just that it's always important to be comfortable during your pregnancy!!

I live in Wyoming and there are TONS of guys in our community that work the oil rigs as well and their wives just deal. It's hard but they're doing the best for their family. My dad was a long haul, over the road trucker and used to be gone 2-3 weeks at a time.

 

[Kirstiedenman]

I am in a similar situation and I was with my first pregnancy. We live 17hrs away from family and in a very small secluded town where you can not birth so I go back home to have my babies. I ended up 17hrs away for the first 14 weeks from dh with the first pregnancy then 20-24 weeks we spent apart then I had to leave again at 32 weeks. This time I have only had to leave at 19 weeks and I am now 25 weeks and go home in a few days. I am only home for 5.5 weeks and have to leave again till after baby is born which my husband will meet me 2 weeks before due date.

I don't think what you are doing is in no way wrong. There are situations in life where you can't help the living situation during times like this. You need money to raise a child and as hard as it is to be apart from your husband you are both doing what is best for your family.
I may have to have a c section and if that's the case my husband will go almost a month without seeing his new born son due to work but that is just what happens with his job and it's a decision we chose to have the life and future we want. I wouldn't let anyone make you feel bad about you and your husbands decision! If you and your husband are comfortable that's all that matters Hun

 

[ssjad]

Let's face it, with pregnancy hormones racing, men can be irritating as anything anyway. Better for him to be gone and you missing him than for you to feel like killing him as the pregnancy progresses.