stag do woes

[Scally]

oh ladies, i really dont know what to do, i have written this so many times, but just cant seem to get the words...
my OH went on his stag do Saturday night, got very drunk, had a couple of lap dances (all absolutely fine by me) but then yesterday he confessed that he kissed someone in a club. I feel so deflated and upset, i just dont know what to do, we are getting married in just under 2 weeks! I think i could forgive him in time, but i dont know whether i can shake it off in two weeks, but i also dont know whether i want to cancel/postponed the wedding, we will lose out on alot of money, and people will ask questions....
I am so devestated.....
I know it was just a kiss, but i see that as cheating too
oh god what do i do? i never thought he would do it, i totally trusted him...

 

[cupcakekate]

i am so so sorry and upset for you hun, this is my worst nightmare. i can completely understand how you feel- i would feel exactly the same in your situation! my only advice is to do whats right for you, dont do anything based on what people will say or think, or even on money. i really hope you can get through this, lots of love x x x

 

[AbbynChloe]

 

[honeybee2]

money is a huge issue though when you dont want to let people down but you need to know your doing this for the right reasons x

 

[Tiff]

Holy hell. Kudos to him for telling you though.

I'm going to play devil's advocate, what was the kiss? Was it just a harmless peck, or was it someone he was flirting with all night? Was it a dare taken too far?

Sometimes knowing the ins and the outs of it helps with making a decision, at least for me.

 

[cupcakekate]

Holy hell. Kudos to him for telling you though.

I'm going to play devil's advocate, what was the kiss? Was it just a harmless peck, or was it someone he was flirting with all night? Was it a dare taken too far?

Sometimes knowing the ins and the outs of it helps with making a decision, at least for me.

i agree with this 100% xx

 

[Scally]

i have spent the last day getting the ins and outs with him, he was out with a group of lads he never drinks with anymore (they came from his hometown gloucester) he said he regressed back to his jack the lad ways, shots, strippers etc. The girl came up and danced with him for about 5 mins then she kissed him, he said he didnt kiss her back but he didnt stop it either, and he did say he enjoyed it for a bit and then realised what he was doing. His mates said they'd keep it hush hush, but he couldnt handle it. He spent the day being wierd and then finally apologised to me and told me x

 

[Tiff]

Well, obviously you have to be okay with things.

If I'm honest, that doesn't seem as bad as what I was thinking. I thought he was flirting with a girl, dancing all night then having a massive snog session. First, awesome that he said something. Seriously. Too many guys out there would have tried to keep it under wraps and had you found out on your own that would've been so much worse.

Yes, it was shitty of him to do that. Do you feel he's upset about it? Do you feel that you would be able to trust him after this?

If you do feel you can trust him and it was just a one time thing with being far too drunk with guys he normally doesn't hang out with... then I'd say go on with your wedding.

However if this is going to be something that's going to eat away at you or have you constantly bringing it up to throw in his face later on then I think it might be best to take a step back and evaluate things. Its all in your personal level of comfort, and only you know how sorry he is or isn't.

Its shit he did that though, but I dunno. I always put stock in a guy fessing up and being honest. For me, that means that he loves/cares/has enough faith in ME as a person to be honest with me. If he lied, it would seem like there's more to hide?

What's your gut telling you? Like when you deep down sit and think about it?

 

[booflebump]

What Tiff said. It's obviously not something he is proud of, and I don't think it will be something he will be doing again

 

[Mynx]

I agree with Tiff and Boofs. Of course you're going to be angry, upset and hurt but it sounds like it was spur of the moment thing while drunk which he didnt exactly reciprocate and he completley regrets now As Tiff said, kudos for him telling you! That shows that he's full of remorse and I expect it'll be something that doesnt happen again. But at the end of the day, it'll be you it's affecting, so it all depends on how you're feeling about it now you know the ins and outs of the whole kiss x

 

[michyk84]

agree with the others on this also the fact it was a stripper (nowt against them myself) it kinda comes with the terrority if that makes sense although dont make easier for you but i cant see him doing it again not if he has admitted it

 

[Scally]

Thank you ladies you have been such a huge help. I am still getting over the shock, but am feeling more positive today than i was yesterday.
Tiff- he feels so bad about it and full of remorse, i dont think he'll ever do it again, but i have told him i might be paranoid for a little while and i dont want him to go out drinking with that group of lads again. I have kept myself really busy and have asked him to keep his distance (as well as sleeping on the sofa!). I do think i could get over it and forgive him its such a shame now i only have a week until we go on holiday with his family and get married! I am going to try and see his stag do as the end of that chapter, and the wedding the beginning of the next and not link the two together, if that makes sense?
x