Thank you for your kind words ladies, as you all unfortunately know the infertility road is a cruel painful one but I am glad I have you lovelies on here to talk to that fully understand.
*I wrote this LONG message on another thread and decided to copy and paste it otherwise I was only just going to say the same thing but maybe in a different way*
I am doing better today, my DH isn't unfortunately. I've had a bit more time to get my head around things. I knew something wasn't right on Monday and when my DH left for business on Tuesday I done some tests when they were negative I knew it was over and the scan yesterday confirmed it. I felt more emotional yesterday having to tell my DH that there was no baby, it was his face that broke my heart. I love him so very much and all we want is to make each other happy. Seeing the devastation is horrible but we are very lucky to have each other and no matter what happens we will never let this break us.
Ok done with the soppy stuff. We both hardly slept last night, we were up talking for hours. I know it sounds a little too soon but I am done with sitting around waiting for things to happen. On each cycle we've taken breaks, its meant that I got a bit of a life back but then I lose it again when we cycle, I don't want to waste another 6 months thinking about what we are going to do I just want to get on with it. I am going to be 36 this year I was suppose to already have a couple of kids so I want to keep going.
I am thinking about egg donor, we have discussed this in a bit of detail before but I wanted to give mine one last chance. I don't think my eggs are good enough. I haven't had my FSH tested for a couple of years but my periods are getting lighter and lighter and I have no doubt my quality is getting worse. This cycle proved it, I struggled to get one egg, I know the egg we got amazingly became a top grade embryo but we don't know the anything about the genetics or if it had any abnormalities, which apparently is the main reason for implantation failure. Unfortunately I never get enough embryos to have these tests, I just have to transfer whatever I have. The fact I have now had 4 good embryos transferred and our best one with all the help of implantation procedures and meds suggests to me that they are just not good enough.
I have been doing a lot of reading about going to Greece for egg donor cycles, the reviews have been nothing but positive. It's half the price of the UK and the donors are matched really quickly plus due to the Greek laws they remain anonymous. I am going to do a lot more research into it but if I can experience a pregnancy and have a part of my DH genes grow inside me to give us the family we crave for I think I would do it.
Sorry this has become a LONG message, I got a bit carried away.
I hope everyone is getting on ok
