Statistics were apparently in my favour!

[MissGossip]

So I'm back on this board again after suffering my 2nd miscarriage last night, in a way we are dealing with it really well but it doesn't stop it from being heartbreaking and devastating.

What really annoys me is where research gets their statistics?! Only 2% chance of 2 miscarriages in a row yet I see so many ladies in her going through multiple!! And the one I was most stupid to believe was the chance of miscarriage dramatically decreases after seeing a heartbeat. Yet less than 24hrs after seeing our baby with a strong heartbeat I'm lay in bed after miscarrying for a 2nd time. I feel angry, upset and like my body has let me down again.

I need to vent and this is one of the only places where there is so many people who genuinely feel what I'm going through. Back to TTC I guess xx

 

[bumbleberry]

Sorry for your loss

Vent away lovely, I totally understand the heartbeat one, I'm currently going through my 4th m/c and we saw the heartbeat at 7 weeks, scan at 10 weeks showed the heart stopped just after my first scan. I feel cheated as I believed the statistics too, I allowed myself to relax after the first scan and start to enjoy being pregnant and then it cruelly gets taken away from you.

We'll be back to TTC as soon as I'm given the all clear too.

Happy to chat if need be though

 

[lesondemavie]

Oh MissG I'm so so sorry sweet. How cruel this world can be sometimes. It is such a terrible thing to happen and those statistics don't mean a thing if it happens to you. With my MMC I kept telling myself only 1%, only 1%. Well that is not the 1% I want to join, but I did. I honestly don't know where they get these numbers either bc MMCs seem to be much more common in these boards, as does RPL. Sending love and healing your way

 

[Sweetkat]

Really sorry for your loss. Half of all MCs have to do with male factor and it often gets overlooked. Just got my OH's DNA fragmentation results back and they are bad. Not one Dr ever suggested this test - so yes chances of 3 MMCs in a row esp after seeing hb at 9 weeks (my case) are less than 1% and yet here I am

 

[lesondemavie]

Sweet - Is that an easy test for them to do?

 

[Laurenmomma]

I know how you feel!

I had three perfect pregnancies and deliveries, then an early miscarriage at about 7 weeks and last week had another one at 21 weeks. How can you get to 21 weeks having had the 12 week scan which was perfect then go to the 20 week and there's no heartbeat! Baby was born perfectly formed, placenta was perfect I just don't get it!

 

[Sweetkat]

Really sorry for your loss. Half of all MCs have to do with male factor and it often gets overlooked. Just got my OH's DNA fragmentation results back and they are bad. Not one Dr ever suggested this test - so yes chances of 3 MMCs in a row esp after seeing hb at 9 weeks (my case) are less than 1% and yet here I am

Yes, very easy. Standard sperm analysis only looks at the shape (morphology) and other parameters and yet you could have perfect traditional sperm analysis and high fragmentation which if high (above 25%) is very likely to lead to miscarriage.

The OH just had to give a sperm sample and then it gets sent for testing. Took two weeks and was about 400 dollars (around £270). Well worth it in my opinion. Wish had it done after the first MMC as I my OH is on medication which often causes this. Often DNA is fragmented in young men for no reason . Been reading up about it.

 

[MissGossip]

It's so reassuring to hear I'm not the only one thinking this, I just don't get how it can happen, I'm so sorry we have all had to go through these losses and feel the pain. I've been absolutely fine all day and my Mum has just left and I broke down to my hubby, I guess I feel when my Mums around I don't have to be as grown up and deal with things! Weird how things affect people!

Might get hubby to have sperm analysis done, thanks for the advice. Bein on here really comforts me to show I'm not alone xx

 

[vix1972]

I am sorry for all that you are going through at this moment in time. I am currently going through a mmc. I was 10weeks and 2 days but a scan on Tuesday revealed that the baby had died at 6wks 6days. We had a scan done at 6 weeks that showed a heartbeat but the baby did not make it to the next developmental stage.

I was suddenly pregnant again after several years of not being pregnant and being told it wouldnt happen without IVF and donor eggs.

It is a hard time for all and for me I am coping surprisingly well what I struggle with is other peoples pain when talking to me about it. My OH is suffering as we have had previous losses (2 in 2011) and I just fell apart both times so he focused on supporting me and didnt have the time to deal with his feelings. This time it is the other way round and he is the one suffering and for this I feel awful (hate seeing people suffer).

I am trying to gain what good I can from this experience in that I am emotionally stronger than I thought (apart from the sudden crying that happens at the moment), I am lucky that I can still get pregnant and do not have to have any of my organs removed so can try again, on Tuesday when I found out there was a train crash in Italy and yesterday an attack in Nice France where people lost their lives. Apart from the loss of my tiny baby everyone else I love and care about is healthy, fit and well.

We are stronger than we think. All things need time. Focus on the good that you already have in life and I wish all of you success in whatever route in life you choose.

One thing I felt the overwhelming urge to do yesterday was to help someone in some way. The hospital i am with have been fantastically caring so I found their charity page for childrens critical care facilities and have signed up to donate every month to say thankyou and to give back to others.

 

[lakotachris]

I am so sorry for all of your losses. I often wonder too where they come up with these type of statistics when I know personally several friends/family and read of literally hundreds of women who experience repeated miscarriages.

I also can totally see how you feel cheated by the "once you see a heartbeat" the odds of miscarriage are super low because from what I read and my friend's experiences it seems as though most miscarry somewhere between 7-10 weeks and HAVE seen a healthy heartbeat.

Anyway I'm really sorry but yes I totally see where you all feel cheated by that statistics into false security.