Stay at home mummies.

[RainbowDrop_x]

I split from my husband in September last year and for a while things were amicable enough that we could arrange childcare between ourselves so that we could both continue working and not have to worry about the cost of childcare.

Things have taken a rocky turn in the last couple of months that have caused me to have to take a lot of time off and let work down last minute. The only option I have at the minute is to resign and get back into work when my youngest is at nursery, which is fine by me because consistentcy and structure are more important for my girls at this time.

I have nothing against people that stay at home with their children in fact I admire you all, but being someone who’s worked since I left school I’m struggling with the notion of not being out and doing something. Have any of you had to give up work and how did you find it? What do you do to keep yourself and LO’s occupied. I suffer with depression and anxiety so I’m just a bit worried that being home all the time will set them off and make them worse so I’m just looking for ideas to keep myself going until I get used to not working.

 

[tcinks]

Sorry things have been hard with your ex-husband
I'm a sahm and I would go crazy if that actually meant I stayed home ALL the time. We go out almost every day, park play dates, friends houses, petting zoo, things like that. I'm thankful that in my city there are lots of places to take the little ones that are affordable. Are there any mom groups you could join? Other friends who have kids that you could do play dates with?

 

[jessmke]

I agree with the above poster, being a SAHM doesn't mean you have to stay at home! I just returned to work yesterday but have been on maternity leave for 2 years with a brief stint back at work between my leaves. We spend very little time at home, there is always a morning and afternoon activity outside of the house. So we are at home until the baby wakes up from his morning nap around 10 am, then we leave for the park/workout class/playgroup/walk/indoor playground if the weather sucks/library/bike ride/etc, come home for lunch and then they both nap, when they get up we go out again usually to a friends house or to the park, then come home and make supper and then get them ready for bed. So we really only come home to eat and sleep. In the summer we stick around the house a bit more and they play a lot outside in the kiddie pool, bouncy castle, driving the power wheels around, playing on the play structure, etc. I take them on a lot of hikes that have us away from the house for the whole day and they nap either in the backpack/chariot/car. Check out what sort of activities are in your area for kids, we live in a very small town and there are still lots of things to do that are either free or very inexpensive.

 

[NoGreaterLove]

Ive been a sahm for the last four years and I agree, if I was confined to the home all day I’d go mad. However, I was able to meet several different groups of moms and each week there are play groups or gatherings of some kind. We also take advantage of story and play time at the library, arts and crafts at the local museums, or events at the nature and garden center. I usually have the week planned with activities so neither one of us gets bored and I find that my schedule is busier now than when I worked. I must also note that taking time for you is extremely important. Being a sahm is my job but it’s not my identity. I believe having and continuing hobbies aside from your children is great. I really hope this helps and all works out for you.

 

[LoraLoo]

As above... we are never in. Park, play dates, swimming, toddler groups etc

I also help out at my kids school 2 days a week which i love, is something like that a possibility? Going in to help out or listen to readers etc...because youd just be helping it wouldnt matter so much if you couldn't manage it for whatever reason on some days x

 

[topsy]

I am a sahm mainly due to health reasons. I try and get out when I can-my son 6 now. I help out at school 1 morning a week-I've only done 3 weeks so it's new. I have therapy once a week ( for a year) and am at hospital once a week. I meet friend. I have a bus pass-which help me get out-but i need someone with me-my friend drive over once a week and we go into town-we have a local discount book for restrurants abd pubs ( so we alway do bogof. This werk we had subway at £3.50 each.

When my son was at home we used to do sure centre group ( free twice a week) play group twice a week ( £3 for jusy under 2 hours) we used to go to library once a week. My parents used to also take us out and my auntie. I was never brave enough but our lucas swimming pool used to have parent and toddler sessions for £5 for both. My friend used to use gym and leave her lo in childcare for 1 hour and if you used the gym before 12-then you got childcare half price.

Xxxx

 

[treeroot]

I wasn't really planning on being a sahm, but an sudden move at the end of my mat leave translated into staying home. My toddler is 3 now.

I know what I should be doing: good schedule, getting out often, taking time for myself, having at home activities ready to go, etc. But I also suffer from depression and things haven't always worked out that way.

We bought a house in a rural area about 1/2 hr from a new city.
However, shortly after we moved I found a play group located close by and even made a friend the first day so I will whole heartily echo the other moms in support of joining those types of groups. Just recently I found a hiking group for families and have already been out a couple times on those.

But. It's not always easy when you're feeling down, and for me not necessarily practical to be going out all the time as very few things are close by. The biggest thing I find is to make peace with bad days (aka not berating yourself over extra tv one day), so that you can start fresh the next day and carry on. Holding on to guilt makes each day worse and worse.

Getting out for myself has been especially hard, but I made contact with a old coworker friend who lives in the city a couple months ago and I'll go visit a couple evenings a month to do yoga in her apartment

I should note that none of the activities I do on a regular basis cost any money other then the gas in my van.

Things have gotten easier for me now that we've been here almost two years; I'm a bit more familiar with the area and I also find travelling with my toddler easier at this age. I still haven't organized my house the way I'd like it and I've got chickens and a big garden to tend to, and a million projects that need starting or finishing; but keeping things in perspective and trying to keep expectations in check helps.

Anyway, sorry that was so long, but I related somewhat to your anxieties and wanted to share

 

[wildflower79]

I only work one morning a week and am a sahm the rest of the week. I love spending time with my daughter and find the hours fly by.

We do the school run twice a day. There's a play/music group on every morning that we can go to. I've got quite friendly with the other mums so it's nice to sit and chat while DD is busy playing. We also meet up outside of playgroups and have mornings/days out.

We have 2 dogs, so after lunch we take them for a walk. By then it's usually time to pick Dd1 up from school.

After school we either take dd1 to rainbows or swimming lessons or the girls just play together in the house or garden.

Sometimes we skip play group, so we can go to park, town, beach, swimming, visiting family and friends etc. On the odd occasions when we're not busy and at home, DD likes reading, painting, baking and play dough.

I don't find the days hard to fill and even wish there were more hours to fit everything in!

 

[eli_mom]

Hi- I have been working since I graduated college but after 8 years I decided to quit my job because of infertility work-up. At first, it was boring and I thought I would not enjoy the life of being a full-time wife. I did things that I love like scrap booking and cross stitch. After 2 years of infertility treatments, I got pregnant and finally decided to be a full time mom. Now my son is 17 years old and I'm still a stay at home mom. I volunteer during weekdays and during weekends, I spent time with my family. I have a complete schedule of my activities from school events, doctor's appointments, church activities etc.

Try to find things that you will love and I hope you will also enjoy being a full time mom. I will be praying for you. You can message me anytime if you have some questions. Thank you for sharing this.