Tristansmom
TTC #3
- Joined
- Jan 2, 2015
- Messages
- 575
- Reaction score
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Hi guys! This will be a bit of a whirlwind introduction, because otherwise it'd be a novel.
I'm 32, my wife is 40, and she's transgender. She publicly transitioned a couple of years ago. She has 2 kids (13yo girl and 10yo boy) from her previous marriage, I have one (5yo boy), and we are expecting our first together. My son lives with us full-time, but her kids only visit a couple of days a month - if that. Therein lies the problem.
Up until last year, her kids were with us nearly half the time. Starting last year, out of nowhere, her son was suddenly "embarrassed to be seen with her in public," among other things. We have since learned that her ex-wife has been refusing to use the correct pronouns when talking about her to the kids, regularly has conversations in front of them about how being trans is a choice, and a damned selfish one at that, and planting ideas in their heads about how they're being robbed of a proper father-child relationship. It goes on and on. This has obviously completely destroyed our relationship with the kids, my wife is devastated (and unfortunately puts way more blame on the kids than she ought to, and not nearly enough blame on their cow of a mother). The heartbreaking side effect of all of this is that my son has lost his brother and sister.
I don't know what to tell him. He's absolutely heartbroken, confused, devastated, sad, and miserable that they never come over anymore. He idolized my stepdaughter. My stepson was always kind of mean to him (he's actually just not a nice child) but up until the ex-wife poisoned her, my stepdaughter was very sweet. I just don't know how to help my son get over this heartbreak.
Anyone?
I'm 32, my wife is 40, and she's transgender. She publicly transitioned a couple of years ago. She has 2 kids (13yo girl and 10yo boy) from her previous marriage, I have one (5yo boy), and we are expecting our first together. My son lives with us full-time, but her kids only visit a couple of days a month - if that. Therein lies the problem.
Up until last year, her kids were with us nearly half the time. Starting last year, out of nowhere, her son was suddenly "embarrassed to be seen with her in public," among other things. We have since learned that her ex-wife has been refusing to use the correct pronouns when talking about her to the kids, regularly has conversations in front of them about how being trans is a choice, and a damned selfish one at that, and planting ideas in their heads about how they're being robbed of a proper father-child relationship. It goes on and on. This has obviously completely destroyed our relationship with the kids, my wife is devastated (and unfortunately puts way more blame on the kids than she ought to, and not nearly enough blame on their cow of a mother). The heartbreaking side effect of all of this is that my son has lost his brother and sister.
I don't know what to tell him. He's absolutely heartbroken, confused, devastated, sad, and miserable that they never come over anymore. He idolized my stepdaughter. My stepson was always kind of mean to him (he's actually just not a nice child) but up until the ex-wife poisoned her, my stepdaughter was very sweet. I just don't know how to help my son get over this heartbreak.
Anyone?