Stop telling me I can't do it!

[cma24]

I'm a first time mom and have decided to have a natural birth (w/o any form of induction and/or pain meds) I wish friends would be more supportive! Even those who have had kids say, "Oh. You think you'll be able to go all natural but when you're actually experiencing it you'll be asking for meds in no time. You think you're strong enough but you'll see!" When I tell them I'm only 12 weeks pregnant and have already begun my research in preparation for natural child birth they just roll their eyes! I mean, I can do this, right? Stop telling me I won't be able to and that I don't know my own strength!!!!!!

Ok, sorry for the rant ladies.. I just needed to get this out!

 

[Heather9603]

I'm not even pregnant but have my mind set on this. I have a pretty high pain tolerance. I've walked around with broken bones and had no idea. Actually I have two dislocated ribs right now and I thought I had just slept funny until the pain wouldn't go away after a few days

But yeah I get that ALL the time. But I am determined to go without meds because my mom had a severe allergic reaction to an epidural and we are allergic the exact same meds. She couldn't hold my sister for two days because the reaction made her temp spike. She missed out on some serious bonding time with her first child! She went all natural with my brother and I and she said it was well worth it!

 

[birdiex]

I get that a lot when casually talking about it with people (nobody but OH & my closest friend know that I'm pregnant) and I know I probably will want the pain medication because I'm a wimp, but I'll be at home where I won't have access to pretty much anything apart from G&A, so whether I want them is irrelevant. Natural is best for my baby and I, and that's the way it'll be!

 

[cma24]

Knowing I'm not alone really helps! Thanks Ladies

 

[ttc bubby no2]

I got this all the time when I was pregnant with DS. I think they assume because they "tried" for a natural birth and ended up with drugs they don't think anyone else can do it.

You can do it! Don't listen to other people who like to bring you down because they couldn't.

 

[chuck]

Just because that was what was normal for them doesn't mean it's normal for you to want a medicalised induced birth.

Do your research and have your experience your way Hun.

If needs be just don't talk to unsupportive people about your choices, if they ask just tell them you'll see how it goes.

You know you're planning what is right for you, people can be so negative about birth usually because they wish they'd dine things differently.

 

[rachiedata]

Good for you girls - if you're confident and well informed in your choices then nobody can argue with you doing what's best for you and your baby! Come in here for some support anytime you need it!

 

[NaturalMomma]

That is horrible of your friends to say that Everyone will experience birth differently. It may hurt for one and not for the other.

You can DO it!!!!!!

 

[Heather9603]

You know what i fear more? An orgasmic birth. I know it would probably be relaxing, but I Think that would be a bit awkward with having my mother and sister in the room. And the thought of my baby giving me an Orgasm freaks me out

 

[lozzy21]

Course you can do it, woman have only had pain medication since 1900 ish, we did it for hundreds of years with out before that.

 

[Heather9603]

Course you can do it, woman have only had pain medication since 1900 ish, we did it for hundreds of years with out before that.

But don't you hate when people say "Well a lot of women DIED from child birth before that".

Well yeah but it wasn't from pain dummy! It was from complications and lack of pre natal care. Those women still drank, wore tight dresses, girdles, rode horses, didn't have vitamins or any other pre natal care that we have now. And also they didn't have any way to help ease the baby out if it was struggling or ripping the mom, so those women would bleed to death or have still borns. So THATS why they died.

 

[special_kala]

I get this alot because i had a epi last time so its like people think i clearly cant manage to give birth without one this time.

Ignore the negative people

 

[moomin_troll]

ignore them! my mum always told me that id need a epidural but i knew i didnt want one. so i was induced, and got thru labor with gas and air but then stopped using that ans bit on the mouth piece lol...so many not totaly natural but i did it without a epidural like so many told me id be begging for.

i didnt scream my head off like u see on some birthing videos. our bodies are made for this and if u go into it open minded then u can go from there.

 

[Chocciebutton]

I went in with this view when I gave birth twice before but sadly had a different outcome.....there is no harm in wanting to try without, but just bear in mind that you may change your mind! giving birth is unpredictable . If you set yourself up to getting through it naturally and you end up having to have an epidural or something due to complications (I had emergency forceps) then you may then feel a 'failure ' as you didnt give birth how you thought you would. Having pain relief is not a weakness and if you do have to have it dont feel like you have let yourself down otherwise you may suffer depression like I did

 

[pupsicle]

Don't worry everybody always tells you the worst stories. I loved giving birth and was so proud of myself that I managed naturally. Don't worry about it, it won't be as near as bad as you imagine it will be, we are designed to cope with it

 

[nov_mum]

Nothing annoys me more than everyone knowing exactly how you will react and what medications you will need. Doesn't your pregnancy make everyone an expert??? hahaha

I hate how you are told you are putting your baby at risk and the old line about people dying. Half the time it was because the 'expert OB' never washed his hands between clients etc and many died from infection. If you have a scan and know that you have no placental problems, that baby is in the right position and mum is well and fit then what is the problem people?? The only thing people say is that you are taking a risk. A risk of what??? Being in a hospital places you at risk of being at the mercy of intervetnions based on teh drs whim and practices. Being in a hospital means you are out of your comfort zone, your anxiety levels are higher and you are more prone to the cascade of interventions. What about the risk of that one??? Often poor outcomes/infant mortatity is written off as High risk pregnancies to beginwith. The amount of pregnancies that eventuate in interventions because babies were not delivered to a doctors schedule, waters broek but labour not started within 24hrs etc is staggering and so is the ever increasdin rate of poor infant outcomes. These are classed as hihgrisk but only because the doctors got in there in the first place.

I come from a background of health care and two pregnancies with complications requiring medical intervention. I am proud that our system is a little more flexible and doesn't over medicalise everything but I hate being in the system. Luckily having some inside knowledge helps to navigate it a little.

Rant over, do what feels right and just tell all of the negative ninnies that while the genreal perception is that it is risky, if they look in to it the will have an educated view with a firm grounding in real stats and not anecdotal rubbish of someones aunts, sister in laws neighbour who had a home birth and the baby died blah blah. Ask them how many babies die in hospital and point out that it seems much more risky don't you think??? heheheeh

 

[Bournefree]

You absoultly CAN do this! No doubt about it!.. and do you know what even if you don't have full faith in it now, or even have a wobble during labour (as some do in transition - like me even), your body will get on for it for you. You have to facilitate your body to do do though - disconnect with the everyday bits or your brain - forget about everything you have heard and you will get on with it... and love it.

Don't let those that in our society have experienced the medicallised end of birth, justify their own choices by making you fearful of yourself. You have nothing to fear.. most births are normal and you should more than just assume yours should be too. Have faith in it. It is a physological function like breathing, circulation or digestion - it happens anyway and better, if you let it.
XxX

 

[kaile]

I totally agree with the above posts. I'm not sure if we're having our little one at home or in a hospital, but I know I want as little drugs as possible. Whenever I so much as mention a home birth to my MIL, she scoffs and says "oh, you don't want that!" Um, maybe I do. Even if I don't, it has nothing to do with you!
This coming from the woman who was so drugged up that she can't even remember the birth and first few hours of her first 2 children.... Not that there's anything wrong with her choices, I'm sure she had reasons for having a cesarean and medications, but it's not for me unless it's an emergency!

On a totally different note though, someone above made a really good point. Don't feel like a failure if things don't go exactly as you planned them to! If you need pain medications, take them. If you need to go to the hospital, go. Don't have your plan set in stone, because things rarely go the way we expect.

Good luck! No matter how you plan your birth to go, it'll all be worth it when the baby arrives

 

[Heather9603]

Just as a side not, look into getting acupuncture during your Third Tri, especially before due date and maybe even DURING labor. A little acupuncture in the ear lobe relieves pain and swelling. And all you feel is a little prick/pulsating feeling to the ear

I plan on getting acupuncture throughout my entire pregnancy. My chiropractor does it and he knows which points to hit. 1st Tri you can get some that relieve nausea, 2nd tri you can get some that relieve constipation, nausea, muscle cramps, and help you sleep. 3rd Tri you can prepare for labor.

 

[RedStar57]

This thread is awesome, I'm really glad I came across it. My family is the exact same way... Last summer I broke my tail bone and cracked my pelvic at a waterpark. The whole ride home all my mom could say was, if you can't handle falling on your ass then how in the world are you ever going to have children? I was just so frustrated at her comments, when I finally convinced her that I was actually really hurt, she took me to the hospital and was in complete shock, lol.

I want as little medication as possible, I don't even like the idea of being induced. Our bodies are naturally made to give birth! My body doesn't react well to meds anyway, and the idea of a huge needle going into my spin scares the crap out of me!

Good luck on your decision making, do what YOU want. The baby is the outcome of all the pain and struggle and I'm pretty sure it's all going to be worth it!