stressed to the max!! ladies whats his game??

[xxfluffyxx]

ok so most of you already know what the story is!! Im doing this alone now for the past 6weeeks! had a scare about a 2weeks ago now and ended up in hospital! the fob came with me and acted like a gent!(unuasually!!! after all the torture and physical and emotional abuse previously!!)...anyway,he asked to come out shoppin with me a few days later and reluctantly I agreed! He treated me like poo!! said he did love me but didnt want me,just the baby! but that he would"still hang out with me when it suited him" I told him NO WAY!! he wasnt having the single life and having me on a part-time basis with "no strings attatched" he then screamed and shouted at me regarding maintenance,what days he WANTED to have the baby on(thats not even born yet!) his demands for the hospital! and also calling me horrible and threatening me with court!!!! I was very emotional etc and gave him an ultimatum saying your either "in" or your not!!! he said he would be there for the baby etc but not as a couple!(which did upset me but I wouldnt stop my lil one from seen his dad when he is born!)..................so our relationship is over! and I told him that most of the "couple" ASPECTS of things were also over,which he doesnt get!! I dont know what he is playing at! Iv asked him to leave me alone and let me enjoy the rest of my pegnancy(6weeks) as he has put me thru WAY too much hurt and upset already! I even had to involve the police!...anyway he wont stop!! I've had texts from his mother,who also he sent to my house when I said I didnt want to see her!!,he has text me,called me,left voicemails,had his 2 sisters text me too!! then yesterday he texted my mam telling her I wonttalk to him and would she like to go shopping for the baby with him!! AS IF!!!!!??? I dont know what the story is!! he knows where he stands in a sense that I told him he can see the baby when he arrives etc!! does this mean he's copped on?? wants to be here for me now?? or what? I aint replyin as I am scared and do not want to give him any opportunity to hurt me again!!! maybe he does only care about the baby!! but he didnt acknowlege his existence for most of the pregnancy and he isnt born yet!!! ?????ne1 any ideas,comments!? I suppose he knows where I live etc!! if hes that bothered1 lonely.com

 

[Kacie]

*hugs*

To be honest he doesn't sound interested in a relationship with you at all and his behaviour sounds very volatile and unstable so I think you should try and keep your distance if you can. If he wants to see the baby afterwards then he has to do so on YOUR TERMS or fight courts if he wants... but they will favour the mother - especially if there are previous police incidents. He has no rights regarding the hospital and birth and you can make the hospital aware if you do not want him or his family turning up.

I would stick to ignoring messages where possible.. by pushing the contact with you ..sending messages and family to talk to you, he is just continuing to try and control you as that is what he has obviously done in the past with his abuse.

Please don't let him. Make sure everything is on your terms and stand up for yourself and your baby.



xxx

 

[billy2mm]

i would get yourself a solicitor hun and get him to write to fob saying you will contact him when the baby is born and all other contact must stop now coz it isnt helping your health and the babies health.

 

[gemabee]

the answers in the title hun - 'whats his game'!
tell him / him mum / his sisters / everyone(!!) that u are no longer a couple nd he will be contacted when baby is born (by a solicitor!!).
u need to do everything legally nd by the book.
if i was u hun i'd change ur number... or ask the operator to block his nd his family's calls.
u NEED to concentrate on u nd baby... NOBODY ELSE!!!
xxxxxxx

 

[xxfluffyxx]

thanks guys!! am not gonna respond to the messages!! heard nothing yday! (suprisingly enough!!),suppose weekends =partying!! GRRRRRR....not gonna go as far as getting a solicitor to write to him!! I dont want nemore hassle or dont wanna add fuel to the fire! I mean he knows where he stands anyway! the last contact I did have was telling him iv no obligation to him r the family and that he wouldnt be given the opportunity to ruin the hospital etc.and also that I wasnt taken "scraps of his time" whenever it suited him,to leave me alone and Id make sure he knew when the baby was born!

 

[myasmumma]

i dont mean this to sound harsh but from what i am getting he just doesnt want to be in a relationship with you but wants to be a father, wanting to go baby shopping ect, i would be greatful that he wants to spend money on his child, most single mums struggle get get pennies off their fob..its good that hes also wanting to sort out days to see the baby aswell, and from how im interpretating Id make sure he knew when the baby was born! your not allowing him to be at the birth of his child, i dont know the full story but thats just want im getting from your posts on here.

 

[xxfluffyxx]

i dont mean this to sound harsh but from what i am getting he just doesnt want to be in a relationship with you but wants to be a father, wanting to go baby shopping ect, i would be greatful that he wants to spend money on his child, most single mums struggle get get pennies off their fob..its good that hes also wanting to sort out days to see the baby aswell, and from how im interpretating Id make sure he knew when the baby was born! your not allowing him to be at the birth of his child, i dont know the full story but thats just want im getting from your posts on here.

its fine he doesnt want to be in a relationship with me(and things would have been civil a long time ago if this was just the case!!) I agree with you about the baby shopping and gave him the chance to come like he requested last week!! he SCREAMED AND SHOUTED AT ME MAKING DEMANDS!! He willl not be at the birth as has ruined many occasions such as the babys scan to tell the sex,my 21st birthday etc,,,And I cannot and wiill not let him upset me further or ruin nemore memories...the hospital will be enjoyed by myself and people who love and care about me!! I willl not have the birth of my lil boy sabotaged by anyone after what Ive been thru alone! he doesnt want to"sort days out to see the baby" he is making controlling threats and demands! throughout my pregnancy I have been told by him that "IT"(HIS UNBORN SON) is not his responsibility! that I "have no purpose" its "unfortunate im carrying his child", ditched,ignored,called horrible names,my wrist almost broken by him!,(had the police involved),completey harrassed!! his behaviour is nothing to be "grateful" for! I see you dont know the full story but also he has not bothered for the past nine months of even acknowlegin that there is a lil baby to consider and how the stress im put under can effect the baby,I have everything I need for baby!!

 

[Kacie]

i dont mean this to sound harsh but from what i am getting he just doesnt want to be in a relationship with you but wants to be a father, wanting to go baby shopping ect, i would be greatful that he wants to spend money on his child, most single mums struggle get get pennies off their fob..its good that hes also wanting to sort out days to see the baby aswell, and from how im interpretating Id make sure he knew when the baby was born! your not allowing him to be at the birth of his child, i dont know the full story but thats just want im getting from your posts on here.

I know it may sound like he wants to be a good father but i would still stay cautious of him right now. I have found from my own, very recent experience, that my ex always said he didn't want our daughter (even after she was born)... I paid for everything for her as he wasn't interested and he spent literally 15 forced minutes with her everyday...but from the day I finally left him, he turned around to me and everyone and told them that I had taken away his chance to be real father and how he loves her and she is his main priority in life etc. etc... He is using our daughter as a way of trying to make me look and feel bad and to make him look a bit better to his own friends...but, when he does see DD he will give her back to me within 10 minutes because she falls asleep in his arms and "there is no point him seeing her when she's asleep"! He is doing it purely so he can take lovely photos of him and her together to show his friends what a devoted dad he is but really he isn't giving her any attention.

I'm not saying your ex is the same.... it may be that your ex does mean what he's saying and want to be a good father, just don't let him ruin the big memories of the birth etc. (my ex has ruined mine). If he wants to be a good father then let him do so on your terms or through the legal avenues. As a good father he also needs to respect you as the mother of his child and stop with the bully tactics.

xx

 

[myasmumma]

i dont mean this to sound harsh but from what i am getting he just doesnt want to be in a relationship with you but wants to be a father, wanting to go baby shopping ect, i would be greatful that he wants to spend money on his child, most single mums struggle get get pennies off their fob..its good that hes also wanting to sort out days to see the baby aswell, and from how im interpretating Id make sure he knew when the baby was born! your not allowing him to be at the birth of his child, i dont know the full story but thats just want im getting from your posts on here.

its fine he doesnt want to be in a relationship with me(and things would have been civil a long time ago if this was just the case!!) I agree with you about the baby shopping and gave him the chance to come like he requested last week!! he SCREAMED AND SHOUTED AT ME MAKING DEMANDS!! He willl not be at the birth as has ruined many occasions such as the babys scan to tell the sex,my 21st birthday etc,,,And I cannot and wiill not let him upset me further or ruin nemore memories...the hospital will be enjoyed by myself and people who love and care about me!! I willl not have the birth of my lil boy sabotaged by anyone after what Ive been thru alone! he doesnt want to"sort days out to see the baby" he is making controlling threats and demands! throughout my pregnancy I have been told by him that "IT"(HIS UNBORN SON) is not his responsibility! that I "have no purpose" its "unfortunate im carrying his child", ditched,ignored,called horrible names,my wrist almost broken by him!,(had the police involved),completey harrassed!! his behaviour is nothing to be "grateful" for! I see you dont know the full story but also he has not bothered for the past nine months of even acknowlegin that there is a lil baby to consider and how the stress im put under can effect the baby,I have everything I need for baby!!

again i didnt mean to sound rude so please dont take it the wrong way, now you have filled me in a bit, id say keep doing what your doing, with him threatening you with the court call his bluff, tell him to do it courts are expensive especially if he cant really be bothered he wont be willing to spend money and time going through the courts, if he still carrys on for the mean time get an injuntion on him and keep texts if you have any and change your number so he cant get hold of you