Struggling and need support ttc 9 months or longer

[fxmummyduck]

I am on month 10 of ttc #2 😢 (Although much longer actual time with 2 months ntnp and a 2 month break) I'm starting to lose all hope that it will happen for us again, we only tried for 1 month with our little boy so I'm really panicking something is wrong.

I've gone beyond sad every month to unbelievably angry. Me and dh argued all weekend over stupid things because we were both just upset about it (af had arrived again) I never planned an age gap this big and feel sorry for my ds that he won't be close in age to a sibling.

I feel hopeless and no one around me understands. My sister is pregnant again with a 3rd baby after loosely deciding to see what happens and bam pregnant after a total of 17 days, wow, and then tells me she understands how I feel. I don't think so! I can barely talk to her because I'm a horrible jealous angry person. Along with my friend due in September and my bff due in Nov, I can't stand it anymore. I hate ttc and the disappointment month after month. I'm too scared to see a Dr in case they tell me there is something wrong so I'm waiting until the 12 month mark. I hope this is just a bad day and I'll feel hopeful again soon.

Anyone else been trying for a while and wants to join me, I understand how it feels and hope I can offer support too. All the ladies I'd befriended on here moved on with their bfps a long time ago.

 

[AmberR]

I hear you! My DH and I are on our 10th cycle trying. I went to a midwife appointment last month and she wants me to track my cycles for 6 months and if I'm still not pregnant then will refer me to a fertility specialist. She did check some labs (thyroid, blood count, ferritin) and they all came back normal. The frustrating thing for me is not knowing what is going on. I have regular cycles but very light periods- only spotting for 2-3 days. And I have no fertile CM that I have noticed.
Meanwhile there are at least 6 women at work who are pregnant and several friends and family members as well!
I really don't want to do IUI or IVF if it comes to that but I surely would like to know what is going wrong!

Have you been tracking your cycles at all?

 

[fxmummyduck]

Hi Amber! Haven't checked here in a while, sorry, thanks for replying. Sorry you're into your 10th cycle too

Have you tried any supplements/herbal remedies? I was having some short cycles and they lengthened out for me. I've been tracking my cycles for over a year now, I was using opks but have stopped those now as I've now learnt what days I'm (supposedly) fertile. I've had the same problems with little to no cm until last month when I treated myself for thrush and suddenly got loads of ewcm for the first time, unfortunately the treatment was too close to ovulation so we could only try once but I'm hoping I get the ewcm again this month. I'm now wondering if I've had mild thrush since about September time and possibly before (I didn't realize you could still have thrush but not have the classic thick discharge) so I ignored the itching and burning thinking we just bd too much, I can't help thinking it affected my cm and ruined our chances ttc since then.

Have you been taking your bbt and charting etc?

 

[mrsfrank]

I'm with you.

10th cycle for us as well. Not even considering the 2-4 month window of "just having fun" before we actually focused on ttc as recommended by our family doctor. It feels SO frustrating when it seems so easy for everyone around you. I'm finding it really difficult to talk about my struggles with anyone other than my older sister and even then I always feel like I'm venting.

fxmummy i've never had thrush before but hope you are feeling better. Hopefully next cycle everything will be cleared up and the cm will be back on track.

 

[fxmummyduck]

Sorry you're struggling too mrsfrank, the frustration is so hard to deal with. Please feel that you can vent here as much as you need, I'm with you and I get it. I'm also finding it hard to talk to anyone else which is why I came here, but then so many ladies moved on which is great for them but sucks I was left behind. So yes, this thread is for us to rant and rave and get angry and whatever we need to do to get through this!

 

[megan hollin]

Hey hun , i'm here on second month ttc number 3 i also with my first took month to conceive him and then my second ds took 10 months to fall with him and i was the same and was fed up and down in the dumps but it was when i almost gave up that i fell pregnant with ds 2. It's so hard and easier said than done but try to relax as i'm sure it will happen for you and it will be when you least expect it!

 

[AmberR]

I just started temping again this cycle and first time using OPKs. Visited my midwife last month and she wants me to chart cycles for 6 months. If nothing happens then she will refer me for testing :/
I did find out that I have some mild bacterial vaginosis so trying to treat that naturally as I don't want to be on antibiotics and then get a yeast infection, which is what has happened in the past. So wondering if that could be affecting my CM...

 

[fxmummyduck]

Hmm amber, I would not be at all surprised if it was affecting your cm. Hope it clears up soon. Good luck with the charting, and with any luck you won't make it to six months as you'll have your bfp before that!

 

[fxmummyduck]

Hey hun , i'm here on second month ttc number 3 i also with my first took month to conceive him and then my second ds took 10 months to fall with him and i was the same and was fed up and down in the dumps but it was when i almost gave up that i fell pregnant with ds 2. It's so hard and easier said than done but try to relax as i'm sure it will happen for you and it will be when you least expect it!

Thanks Megan, yeh I'm really trying to relax, I don't use opks anymore just watch for other signs and we don't stress over bding. I'm just out of patience !!!

 

[fxmummyduck]

Urgh I'm really stressed my cervix is SHOW but I'm not getting any watery/ewcm and my opk is negative what's going on??

 

[AmberR]

Sorry that's so frustrating! I thought everything was looking good this month but now I've started spotting the last 2 days and it's 5 days before my expected period... not sure what's going on!

 

[fxmummyduck]

Amber spotting can be good or bad! I spotted when pregnant with ds but have also spotted on cycles with a bfn

Still a negative opk but cm is showing signs of turning to ewcm but we'll see. Really hope I O soon as dh is away working from Monday until Friday next week, I really don't want to miss it. Arghhhh!!

 

[AmberR]

CM is a good sign, hope you O soon! It's looking like AF just came to visit early this cycle :/

 

[fxmummyduck]

Oh no Amber, I'm really sorry. Early af is SO not fair what cd are you? No chance it's implantion bleeding?

 

[AmberR]

I'm on CD 27 now, my cycles are usually 30-32 days. Seems like it's AF but guess I don't know for sure. Will probably take a test in a few days to make sure

 

[fxmummyduck]

Probably a good plan.

Well I'm feeling rubbish about this cycle, no positive opk but darker this morning (now I've run out) no decent ewcm, in fact I was pretty dry last night and got upset about it.

Had some right sided cramps thus am but basically with the bad cm situation I feel like there's no chance

 

[Kiwiberry]

It is not easy Mama. I am so sorry you are going through this. Almost 5 years for my first, and 16 months for my second. I wouldn't wish that struggle on anyone. I will be stalking, lots and lots of to you hun.

I broke down a lot but in the times that I could manage I would do things to try and distract myself.

 

[fxmummyduck]

Thank you kiwiberry 😊 It really is such a struggle, and getting harder to pick myself up after each disappointment. How is your ttc #3 journey going? I'm finding that as I already have my ds that somehow the struggle for #2 isn't really taken seriously by anyone unless they've been there.

 

[Kiwiberry]

It's the sad truth. Most family won't care at all. Some think that just because you have one baby already you shouldn't be depressed if it takes awhile the second time around. The only people who really believe that are people who have never experienced what it's like to LTTTC. It's just as hard if not harder the second or third time around to deal with. This time trying to conceive I'm taking a relaxed approach and trying not to think about it too much. After losing my s*** the first and second time around I don't really want to go through that emotional roller coaster again. I'm trying my best to keep it at Bay. I've already had a chemical two months ago. That ended up bothering me more than I thought it would. We have been trying since around December.

I wish I would have had this forum when I was trying to conceive my first. Sadly I only found out about it after I fell pregnant.

 

[fxmummyduck]

How's everyone doing?
So I'm going back to the U.K. to visit family in about a week, and feeling very down about it. I was absolutely sure we would have news to share with them, and yet here we are with nothing. It's really hitting hard today that this time last year we were ntnp and ttc properly the next month. And I have to see my sister who is pregnant without ever trying. I want to cry today.