Struggling at school

[Eleanor ace]

DS (5.5) is struggling at school. He's in year 1 and although he tries hard he is behind his peers and currently in intervention groups for maths, reading and writing. In January he'll be starting a group focusing on gross motor skills (his gross motor skills are good, but the hope is that this will help him with his fine motor skills, particularly his handwriting). I feel so bad for him! His birthday is in July so he is one of the younger ones in his year, which I feel bad about. I am dyslexic and dyspraxic, it runs in my family and I also feel bad about that. He has problems with his hearing, possibly linked to his birth and yep, once again I feel guilty (even though its only a maybe!). He's happy, healthy and he is making progress (just not at the rate his teachers would like) but I can't help feeling so sad for him that things aren't going to be easy for him.
It doesn't help that his younger sister seems to find things much easier and is catching up with DS, which he's starting to notice.
Is anyone else in the same position? Anything you've found which has helped your LO, confidence wise or academically? Would love to chat

 

[hayz_baby]

I've no advice but we are in the same position. Ds1 is also year one ands may birthday. Every report I've had from school states he's behind. We have as much as we came at home (he reads and does his spelling every day)
In his last report maths is average but everything else is behind including the development points. I was so disheartened when I read that as I felt we had come a long way. I've not talked to him about it because he puts so much effort into his school work I don't want to place a negative on it. My oh is dyslexic which runs in or family. I'm pretty sure I'm dyspraxic (at least high functioning I've just not had the guts to go the the docs about it) he delayed in speech. I've always felt he was very independent and does a lot for himself but according to school he isn't. When I went to parents evening I felt it was really positive, he tried really hard hes improved loads and it just felt his report didn't reflect that apart from effort as they have marked that as well as attained for writing reading and maths.
I'm sorry I don't have any advice but I guess I wanted to say your not the only one. Xx

 

[hypnorm]

my son is 11 and has struggled with concentration all the way through school, they've offered very little help, or insight in tp how we can go forward. he is 22nd august baby so also V young in his year. always been behind par. personally he was never ready to start school in the first place.

 

[cat_reversing]

The school system/structure doesn't work for everyone and you shouldn't be feeling bad when your lo is still so young, not everyone develops at the same rate.
I hope the school is dealing with it sensitively and not adding to these guilty feelings you have, lo will get there given time.
Schools are very focused on targets and statistics, some kids just don't fit with that for whatever reason.
Forget the stats and enjoy seeing lo develop at his pace, if you push him too hard, it might discourage him.

 

[SophiasMummy]

My LO has big problems with concentration and sorting problems/letters/sounds/numbers out in her mind. For example she has only just learnt to recognise numbers up to ten and still sometimes can't remember which one is which though she can write them all. So she's quite behind despite being one of the oldest in her year. Her school are amazing she has a 1 to 1 session every day with one of the TAs who she's very close to, which has helped her massively they are also referring her to a speech therapist to try work out what's going on.

She excels at anything arty or sporty just not anything she has to concentrate for long amounts of time on that confuses her.

 

[SarahBear]

I have no idea, but I am not a fan of public schools... They're often NOT an ideal learning environment and are generally not an ideal setting for developing a child's self-confidence and self-worth.

 

[DreamCatcher_]

I'm a teacher and every child develops at their own rate. As long as a child is making progress, at their own pace, then I'm very happy. Do not be disheartened.

I would just keep doing what you are doing with him, focusing on the positives and celebrating each achievement to keep him focused. You haven't done anything wrong and should never be made to feel that way. If the school is more worried about their stats than his development then I would seriously consider looking elsewhere or going about their head. I've never met a school who cares more about the former, at the disadvantage of the latter.

Also, not all children are academically inclined and may succeed at other avenues such as the creative industries or physical activity. Literacy and maths aren't the be all and end all x

 

[Eleanor ace]

Forgot to mention in my original post that I'm qualified as an Early Years teacher (although I don't teach in a mainstream school anymore), I never second guessed myself when it came to helping students who had difficulties at school but with my own child I am a mess of uncertainty!

The school are very good and very supportive, they are very focused on developing children as rounded individuals (which is extremely important to me) and they are offering a lot of support for DS, but I do wish at times that we could "check out" of DS being counted towards targets so that there is no pressure for him to be rushed to hit the level he "should" be at by the time he finishes year 1. I feel like on balance his school is the best place for him; home schooling wouldn't suit him and private school isn't a long term option financially (not that I think a private school would automatically be a better option).

We encourage him to pursue other interests (sports/music/languages) and I hope that he will find his niche as I worry that he will realize that he's not at the same level as his peers academically and that will knock his confidence, so having something he is strong in could counter that.

 

[SarahBear]

Another thing to think about with academics is to try to communicate a "growth mindset" attitude. If you're not familiar with it, give it a google search. And if he is upset about being behind, remind him that it's not that he can't do it. It's that he can't do it YET. It won't help in the short-term, but being conscious to encourage these types of mindsets could help in the long term.

 

[OmarsMum]

Did you try some apps or websites to help him? At my son's school they use study ladder, you can use it to set tasks for him in line with what he's covering at school, it is easy to use and it focuses on English & math.

As for handwriting DS's handwriting was so bad at that age, now it is good but he required extra practice at home.

 

[.Mrs.B.]

My son was born on the 2nd September, when he turns 5 he will be just starting reception. Everything else aside, a year makes a massive difference at this age and it is hard on the younger ones.

 

[Brummie90]

Not exactly... however my son started school and 4 1/2 yrs and daughter was only 2 weeks after her 4th birthday. He found things alot easier in reception then she seems to be doing, he had 6 months on her when he started. I find it strange and somewhat challenging when there is such a change between the two children.

What I would say is please don't beat yourself up I am sure your a great Mother and you would support and love him no matter what, at this age it isn't a race, he will catch up to his friends. When I was younger I was in special needs yet soon caught up to my peers

Good Luck! xx

 

[Boo44]

Oh I hope he is ok and that you don't feel guilty, it's natural but completely misplaced! It sounds like he will make the progress just in his own time. It's really not fair having to fit every child into a target level as obviously they are all individuals with differing talents.
When you say he is in intervention, what does that actually mean? X

 

[Eleanor ace]

Oh I hope he is ok and that you don't feel guilty, it's natural but completely misplaced! It sounds like he will make the progress just in his own time. It's really not fair having to fit every child into a target level as obviously they are all individuals with differing talents.
When you say he is in intervention, what does that actually mean? X

He is in an intervention group/ 1-1 intervention for numeracy, reading and handwriting. These are groups where he works with a special needs TA getting extra input while the other kids in his class are having free reading/free play (he still gets some free play time).

 

[Boo44]

Oh I hope he is ok and that you don't feel guilty, it's natural but completely misplaced! It sounds like he will make the progress just in his own time. It's really not fair having to fit every child into a target level as obviously they are all individuals with differing talents.
When you say he is in intervention, what does that actually mean? X

He is in an intervention group/ 1-1 intervention for numeracy, reading and handwriting. These are groups where he works with a special needs TA getting extra input while the other kids in his class are having free reading/free play (he still gets some free play time).

Sounds like he's getting lots of support which is really good x

 

[sequeena]

Hiya my son is also in year one and has issues but it's slightly different for us as he is in a unit. He's not on the national curriculum yet so works from P scales. He has hearing problems too (persistent glue ear). He has an IEP and an EHCP so he has intervention every day. I try to help at home but he doesn't get homework yet and he's resistant to doing any type of counting or writing even if I try to make it fun. He has issues doing the work at school (he's stubborn just like him mum) so his teacher has said not to worry about it. He's making progress at his own rate which is fine by me. He started September 2015 and could count to 10. Now he can count to 14 which is great!!

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

Both of mine went on a school action IEP which helped so much x