Struggling with...everything.

[Tiredmomma]

I don't know if this is the right place but I need to chat to someone. I have a 19 month old and I live with my partner. I'm at uni full time and I work weekends. On top of this I am the main career of our child and deal with the housework.

My OH works 43 hours, so he's away from 7 and not home from 6.

I have our LO from when she wakes til she's in bed and everything in between. I then have uni work to do at night and am always tired.

My OH gets angry if he comes home and the house isn't tidy so I spend most of my day tidying so he doesn't have Anything to say. This is making me feel tErrible as I feel I'm neglecting our LO. Infact I know I am. Not as in she's not cared for but the fact I dont spend much time directly with her and it's killing me. I want to cry just thinking about it.

My OH only cooks dinner and sometimes cleans the kitchen, I do EVERYTHING else and he says I do nothing with myself (on top of college,work,house and our child....)

On his days off I usually work and I come home to a mess and him staring at the tv, his view is its his 'Day off to relax'

I don't know what to do, when I try and tell him I get told he works all the time and I must do nothing. I'm exhausted and I actually just feel so deflated at the moment.

Sorry for the long post but I have so much to say


Thanks everyone.

 

[~RedLily~]

I think I would say to him that if he thinks you do nothing all day then that's what you're going to do. Have a day just playing with LO and relaxing, let him come home to a messy house and no dinner ready.
It's not fair that he is expecting you to do everything, when he's next home and you're at work I would show him all the washing that needs doing and hoovering and tell him that it shouldn't be to hard as he's not doing anything anyway.

 

[HazzaB]

So you study for uni, go to work, tidy the house and look after lo and all he does is go to work and cook dinner? That to me is utterly out of order. I agree with pp, spend your day playing with and taking care of lo. If he wants an immaculate house then he can tidy it himself!! If you carry on like this hun then you will burn yourself out. Maybe you could sit down together and draw up a list of his and your responsibilities so the load is shared equally? I hope he sorts himself out.x

 

[xolily]

my OH doesn't do anything but i'm not at uni or back at work (yet) so it's not too bad but if i was in your position i would be putting my foot down, when he complains that x, y or z isn't done, tell him to do it himself! tell him that you feel like you're neglecting your LO and it's not on xx

 

[bigbetty]

Hey sweetie! Can't really add much more than the other ladies have said but just wanted to give you a hug

I agree that you should do nothing but play with your LO for a day and then your OH will see how much you actually do! And if he complains just tell him you were doing your job - caring for the baby who isn't capable of doing things for herself rather than the baby who is big enough to cook his own meals and wash his own clothes!