Struggling with to BF or FF (x-posted)

[Biotechick829]

I'm due in November with our 3rd girl. I have a 3 year old and 1 year old and was able to BF them both for a year (well, in the case of the 1 year old, for 10 months, until this surprise pregnancy made my supply dry up).

BF has never been easy or truly enjoyable to me. I'm a high anxiety person and having latch issues, reflux and colicky babies, barely enough supply makes me dread BF again. I work full-time and would have to pump again. For both babies I would stress about pumping enough for next days bottles at daycare. I'd always have just enough. What compounds it more is how much BF consumes my time, especially when I have two other young DD's to look after. When our babies were hungry, my husband would always hand them to me and say "but she wants you," after I'd moan that I just needed time to myself.

I told myself that with #3 I'd BF as long as I was on maternity leave (8 weeks) to get some of the benefits of breast milk. Now that I'm thinking of siting in the hospital room after delivery or even at home with a chaotic home and fussy baby that only I can satiate makes my head spin. I fantasize about giving birth and then being able to occasionally sleep with the baby being bottle fed by nurses (with #2 I was so exhausted after delivery that I started to hallucinate), about going home and being able to share giving the feedings with my husband.

I know that as long as a baby is fed it makes no difference if a mom FF or BF, but I don't know why I have so much guilt about FF when I know BF is possible. I just don't know what to do, FF from the start or BF until 8 weeks (or even try to BF the 1st year).

Can anyone else relate or have advice? Thank god I have time to sort this out...

 

[krissie328]

I desperately wanted to bf my ds. But due to not having enough breast tissue it was impossible. So I was forced to ff when he was around 2 weeks old. And to be honest it was so good for us both. He was fed and I could switch off with dh if needed. I don't feel like we lost any of our bond and he's a very healthy, active and bright 2 year old.

At the end of the day do what's best for you. Combi feeding when you go back to work might work out great.

Like you said a fed baby is what's important. Your new bundle will be just as well off as your other two no matter your decision.

 

[Fruitmash]

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/m...Breastfeeding-wars-is-breast-really-best.html

This article was posted on this forum and it's removed all my guilt for formula feeding with DD! I agree with pp, if you really have your heart set on breastfeeding and it works maybe combi feed? Lexi was having none of my breastfeeding and spat up whatever tiny amount of milk I managed to express. If it causes you a lot of stress, is it really worth it?

 

[krissie328]

Fruit- that story is almost identical to mine! I suffered through 2.5 weeks where my son lost 25% of his weight. That is what killed me.

 

[laura109]

Im one of the few people who never atempted breast feeding and happily formula fed from the start. I never felt comfortable or confident about trying it and i dont regret formula feeding at all. My little girl is 17 months old and is a healthy weight and happy. She has been ill twice but we go to playgroups and theres always bugs. Had a few colds but not many. Not had any skin problems etc.

The best part of it all was everyone was able to feed her. It helped me knowing my oh could do a 3am feed too. I dont like how breast feeding and formula feeding is such a competitive subject now. I think whatevet way works for you is what matters. As long as baby is fed they will thrive in life. If you breast feed but your child consumes junk food when they are older all the time then they will have health problems anyway.

When i was pregnant my midwife told me to breastfeed but never asked me what i wanted or explaied formula too me. It made me feel quite unsupported at first.

Go ahead and formula feed. All will be good if thats what you choose x

 

[Fruitmash]

Im one of the few people who never atempted breast feeding and happily formula fed from the start. I never felt comfortable or confident about trying it and i dont regret formula feeding at all. My little girl is 17 months old and is a healthy weight and happy. She has been ill twice but we go to playgroups and theres always bugs. Had a few colds but not many. Not had any skin problems etc.

The best part of it all was everyone was able to feed her. It helped me knowing my oh could do a 3am feed too. I dont like how breast feeding and formula feeding is such a competitive subject now. I think whatevet way works for you is what matters. As long as baby is fed they will thrive in life. If you breast feed but your child consumes junk food when they are older all the time then they will have health problems anyway.

When i was pregnant my midwife told me to breastfeed but never asked me what i wanted or explaied formula too me. It made me feel quite unsupported at first.

Go ahead and formula feed. All will be good if thats what you choose x

I definitely won't be breastfeeding this little one! With DD I asked for help BF and the midwife grabbed the back of my newborns head and tried to force my screaming infant onto my nipple! Totally horrified me, never again. Plus I've just got the tommee tippee perfect prep machine so FF will be such a breeze!

 

[laura109]

Those prep machines look fab!! What an awful midwife doing that. In the uk it has become such a big thing to breastfeed, whilst its great that research is done and we know it is better for baby it also comes with alot of negatives for some women. My sil was permanently feeding every hour. She had a blocked duct once and was in so much pain but would not give in. She did really well but spent alot of time emotional as she could npt express and her baby would not sleep. Her hubby slept in the spare room as he needed sleep and baby slept in the bed and he did not wAnt to risk rolling over. Yet my cousin found it easy and looked such a natural and expressed etc. it really is pot luck if your body will work well with it or not. Once they are weaning you can feed them all the right foods and in the long run i think whichever way you go babies will grow just fine xx