"Stupid Cow" announced the sex of her baby. :*(

[CdnEquestrian]

Feeling a bit down. Miss.Cow announced that she's having a girl. My dream.


Like I said....I am sooooo super jealous that she's pregnant, and with a little girl....but I sure as hell don't want her life.

I'm just bummed out. Finished my provera and i'm waiting for AF to start so I can take my first round of clomid.

I just don't understand why I just can't let this go. It makes me SOOOO mad and there is just so many unresolved feelings. She got pregnant because she could and I couldn't....and everytime she updates her facebook, it's there for the world to see. I tried blocking her so I didn't have to see it, but people would just tell me in casual conversation about it anyways. So I feel like, at least this way....I get to be "prepared" when it comes up. You know?

I just wish I could let it go. It feels like it's tainting my TTC/future pregnancy.

Any advice? It's like a bad breakup....maybe it just needs time.

I just want to know that when I get pregnant, it will be all-consuming and I won't care anymore. I'll just be able to bask in my precious little one....with DH by my side. Knowing that at least I know who my baby's father is, am not living in a freaking TENT, have an income and stability/security. I just feel like through our whole friendship, she was always the miserable screw-up and I always had everything together and I was ALWAYS happy to help her out...anytime. Day or night. And it just feels like the ultimate betrayal to get pregnant under my roof, find out using my pregnancy test, all because you wanted to "best" me at something.



I blame the hormones. My moods have been all over the damn place. I've been so depressed lately, but I can't go back on the anti-depressants if i'm TTC.

 

[sunflower82]

Awww hugs don't worry you will be prego.soon

 

[foxiechick1]

Big hugs hun,

Believe me people like that are never happy! I had the exact same convo with my hairdresser last night about facebook and she rightly said people who post EVERYTHING and I mean everything are deeply unhappy and are seeking approval from everyone around them so I know it's hard but keep your head high she's not happy just just wants to pretend she is xx

You will love your baby so much he/she will keep you so busy that you won't have time to dwell on her at all!

Now go do some more baby making lol. Sending lots of & xx

 

[PinkPeony]

Foxiechick - that is so true about prolific fb posters.

 

[2have4kids]

And look at how gorgeous CdnEquestrian is too. I'm sure this "cow" will make many mistakes with her pregnancy and child rearing, just make sure you learn from them and do a better job. There are people in our lives to teach us things, this lady is teaching you to be a huge hearted loving person (even tho it seems so wrong!)
You have the right to tell her how you feel. Maybe she 'd learn a thing or two!!

 

[binksmommy]

I call that a "Toxic Friend" and you need to unfriend her! I had the same thing happen to me last yr. "Friend" knew I couldn't get preggo easy so she made quick of her pregnancy and rubbed it my face for 9 months..I was stressed to the max.. finally 2 weeks before her due date her hormones made her unbearable.. she blew up at me and it was over.. after the friendship was over I wish it had been over 9 months earlier.. Take my advise.. SAY G'BYE to her NOW!!!The stress..WILL NOT help your efforts of being preggo. Cut your losses and jump ship!

 

[dpitts1341]

You are letting that "cow" live rent free in your head.... I have had a similiar situation in the past and I had to realize that I was spending so much time fretting about what she did that I was letting my 'present' slip away. Finally I came to terms with myself that if she was doing well, good for her, but her life does not dictate my future. Since I have let it go, I personally feel so much better. Trust me there are things she still does that irritate me, but I don't allow my thoughts to be consumed with her.


You can do this! You are obviously a great person and your time will come. Life is too short (or too long, however you want to look at it) to worry about what some crazy 'cow' is doing.

Lots of your way!

 

[MindUtopia]

You are letting that "cow" live rent free in your head.... I have had a similiar situation in the past and I had to realize that I was spending so much time fretting about what she did that I was letting my 'present' slip away. Finally I came to terms with myself that if she was doing well, good for her, but her life does not dictate my future. Since I have let it go, I personally feel so much better. Trust me there are things she still does that irritate me, but I don't allow my thoughts to be consumed with her.


You can do this! You are obviously a great person and your time will come. Life is too short (or too long, however you want to look at it) to worry about what some crazy 'cow' is doing.

Lots of your way!

This is so true. There's no reason to keep toxic people in your life just because you worry you'll have to hear about their antics anyway. You just do you, and be happy that you have the sort of life she'll never have, and can provide the sort of childhood to your future LO that she'll never give hers.

(but seriously, she's living in a tent? WTF)

 

[ttc1soon]

I was in the same kind of mood yesterday, balled my eyes out because my neighbor beside me who accidentally got pregnant posted the sex of her baby on FB. She didn't want to be pregnant yet she was one week farther along than me with my second pregnancy. I wanted my baby so badly and lost it yet she who didn't got to keep hers. I think it will get easier when you get pregnant again but the jealousy won't go away until you have your baby I think. The person across the street was just a few weeks behind me the first time I got pregnant (m/c that one too) and when I got pregnant again and I would see her starting to show I was still jealous that I was only a few weeks and she was half way done now she is about to pop and I avoid going outside when either of them are there.

 

[CdnEquestrian]

Ohh...she's not a friend.

There is a thread all about the situation, but long story short...ish....lol....

She was living in a city and hour away and had a reputation for being a slut. So I told her she should move...so she decided to move to my city. DH and I told her that it was a fresh start and she could be whomever she wanted to be, as nobody knew her past. She asked if she could live with us until she could find an apartment...which we allowed. She knew we were TTC.

She started going on "dates" with guys from an online dating site...but she slept with ALL of them on the first date and none of them called her back. Then she admitted to having had unprotected sex, and "forgetting" her BCP. I offered her "Plan B" morning-after pill which I had in a drawer, and she turned it down, saying that "if it happened, it happened".

Then....2 weeks later, she comes out of the bathroom after stealing one of MY pregnancy tests from my "stash" and asks "is this positive?" to a blaring BFP.

Shit was strained, I was super upset. She said that she didn't think i'd be so mad and that all her friends were having babies and she just wanted to see if she could, and blah, blah, blah.

Then she offered to SELL the baby to DH and I. We asked her to move out.

She couldn't afford to live on her own, and got fired because she didn't go into work and didn't even call in and let them know she wasn't coming in...and the guy she was renting a room off of asked her to leave because he didn't want children in the house. So she moved back to the town she was originally from. She was going to move back in with her parents...yet again....but they had let her brother move in, and didn't have room for her.

She stayed free at a friend's place for a bit, but the girl is GOOD at burning bridges...and got kicked out. So now, she's sleeping in a tent in her parents' back yard. She doesn't have a job and can't GET a job because it's a small place and she's worked and been fired from every job. Social Services won't give her welfare because she isn't paying rent, and she won't be getting child support because she doesn't even know the FIRST name of the baby's father. There were SIX possibilities...but she ruled them out down to the 2 whose names she doesn't know.


So...yeah....not a friend. But we have lots of mutual friends still...and even though i've told them I don't want to hear about it, they always update me on her life. It's like a train wreck....most of them use it for entertainment. She's a joke...



Thank you ladies though for the kind words. I don't know if it's just that I need time to heal from the betrayal or what....but I just want her OUT of my life.

 

[genesismarie]

i really know how you feel my best friend got pregnant after trying her best to not get pregnant and for awhile i stopped answering her calls because i simply just couldnt take hearing about it. she even asked me to take her to her first doctor appointment for her pregnancy and i did because at the end of the day she is my best friend and i love her pregnant or not. i was just so mad because i felt like she didnt deserve such a blessing as being pregnant. i know it must hurt all you lovely ladies like it does me to be ttc to conceive and see people around you mistakenly getting pregnant and not even really wanting there miracle

 

[nursemommy]

Sorry you have to go through this! She sounds like a horrible "friend".

 

[CdnEquestrian]

In the meantime...this girl has "prepared" for this miracle by binge drinking, having unprotected sex with random strangers...and blowing her money eating out, hanging with friends, and getting an $80 manicure every 2 weeks. Not sure where she's getting the money from....but it's time to put on the big girl panties and GROW UP.

She has 5 short months to grow from a self-indulged spoiled brat (with a criminal record for beating up a pregnant woman last year....classy, hey?) into a mother.

 

[binksmommy]

I'm telling you.. I have dealt with this type of "friend" get rid of her now!! The toxic friend that I said good bye to last yr ..has moved to TX last week..and seriously.. even more stress is off of me knowing I won't see her at my daughters school next yr.. My town feel safe again.. no threat of bumping into her... but even just not talking to her was good for me.. I was finally able to focus on my pregnancy and health and I stopped worrying about her..

 

[Sholi]

Ohh...she's not a friend.

There is a thread all about the situation, but long story short...ish....lol....

She was living in a city and hour away and had a reputation for being a slut. So I told her she should move...so she decided to move to my city. DH and I told her that it was a fresh start and she could be whomever she wanted to be, as nobody knew her past. She asked if she could live with us until she could find an apartment...which we allowed. She knew we were TTC.

She started going on "dates" with guys from an online dating site...but she slept with ALL of them on the first date and none of them called her back. Then she admitted to having had unprotected sex, and "forgetting" her BCP. I offered her "Plan B" morning-after pill which I had in a drawer, and she turned it down, saying that "if it happened, it happened".


Then....2 weeks later, she comes out of the bathroom after stealing one of MY pregnancy tests from my "stash" and asks "is this positive?" to a blaring BFP.

Shit was strained, I was super upset. She said that she didn't think i'd be so mad and that all her friends were having babies and she just wanted to see if she could, and blah, blah, blah.

Then she offered to SELL the baby to DH and I. We asked her to move out.

She couldn't afford to live on her own, and got fired because she didn't go into work and didn't even call in and let them know she wasn't coming in...and the guy she was renting a room off of asked her to leave because he didn't want children in the house. So she moved back to the town she was originally from. She was going to move back in with her parents...yet again....but they had let her brother move in, and didn't have room for her.

She stayed free at a friend's place for a bit, but the girl is GOOD at burning bridges...and got kicked out. So now, she's sleeping in a tent in her parents' back yard. She doesn't have a job and can't GET a job because it's a small place and she's worked and been fired from every job. Social Services won't give her welfare because she isn't paying rent, and she won't be getting child support because she doesn't even know the FIRST name of the baby's father. There were SIX possibilities...but she ruled them out down to the 2 whose names she doesn't know.


So...yeah....not a friend. But we have lots of mutual friends still...and even though i've told them I don't want to hear about it, they always update me on her life. It's like a train wreck....most of them use it for entertainment. She's a joke...



Thank you ladies though for the kind words. I don't know if it's just that I need time to heal from the betrayal or what....but I just want her OUT of my life.

I feel like Hollywood should buy the story from you and make it into a movie!!!! you cannot make this stuff up. forget her sweetie, she's stressing you out and she doesn't even know or care about it.

 

[hoping4my2]

ahhhaa i have just unfriended a girl from fb
so after tht i logged on bnb n here u r
the girl was family friends, the day she got pregnant she started hiding things n not calling me
i thought fine if she wants to keep things prvt, i would do tht too
but every now n thn she drops a msg stating I M BUSY n blaming me for not keeping in touch
thn when i call her she doesnt call bak
so in a way shes trying to fool me out n trying to keep thngs pvt bcoz i m ttc n she is pg n i l wish bad for her
SELFISH COW!
so shes unfriended n out of my life

 

[SquigglesHull]

Sorry to Muscle in but get rid of this friend now! Different situation (ie not related to TTC) but my best friend of 14 years became a poison in my life and after a lot of thought, I deleted her off facebook, I deleted her number and she never got in touch to ask why.

Two years later and I'm over the moon. You will feel a million times better once she is out of your life and more than that, even thinking about this, unconsciously may be affecting you and your TTC.

x

 

[binksmommy]

The sooner you say g'bye the better you will feel

 

[dizzy65]

 

[beegray]

Just to add my 2 cents and talking about toxic friends, I was actually unfriended by my best friend in college becoz I had been "toxic". she had been there thru my first bit of ttc and then my pregnancy and the first month or two after my mc, it took me a few months to get over loosing my baby and we had been party animals together. I became depressed and was not interested in going out, even after a few months of the loss. When I needed a friend the most she dropped no, no explanation nothing. I eventually asked her why she had just dropped me and her response was "well, I don't need toxic depressed people in my life." That of course didn't help, but yep. There it is. Not that I blame some of u ladies for dropping the people that have been infecting ur life. But sometimes, all they need is a little help and encouragement. Sometimes, all they need is a friend. I never considered myself toxic at the time, just depressed. Yet I think we had a total of two conversations about my mc, thereafter it was always about her wedding preps and her loosing weight. I tried to b a friend yet I was not the friend she wanted. She wanted her wild partyer back. Again, not knocking anyone!!!!!!! Please give me half the chance and I wld unfriend a lot of people in my life, but that incident helped me to realize that sometimes all people need is someone to lean on.