Support thread for all the atheist,agnostic,non-religious and secular humanist TTCers

[westfall]

Hi ladies,
I got this idea from the Christian TTC thread and hope that no one takes offence, just different beliefs!

I find that I sometimes feel left out as an atheistic leaning agnostic and thought it would be great to have a support thread for those without faith or whose religious beliefs are more personal as opposed to religious. I think we get a little forgotten

So I welcome anyone from the strong atheist to those whose personal spiritual beliefs only really fit into the "other" category. We can chat about the unique issues surrounding TTC or parenting without faith and with questioning faith!

 

[readerwriter]

I'm in! I'm still trying to figure out what I define myself as, but I don't think there's a higher power with a particular plan. I'll get pregnant if or when I do, not because it's part of any kind of plan. I'd love to chat with others!

 

[sarahh]

Hi, I don't have any particular faith. Think it would be great to have a thread to support each other.

 

[westfall]

Great! im glad that at least a few people are on board hopefuly more will follow! sometimes I feel like declaring your self irreligious (particularly atheist) is sort of like coming out of the closet! lol. I was worried no one would respond or simply call me a heathen.

My story, raised Roman Catholic (catholic school junior kindergarden-grade 12 boo...) but pretty early on decided it wasnt for me. I have a degree in biopsychology so I pretty strongly believe in materialism. I am not an atheist per se, as to state something with 100% certainty that cannot be tested or measured would not make me a very good scientist now would it lol.

my TTC philosophy is certainly not one where im banking on a man in the clouds "bless" me with a child. I believe that I need to prepare my mind and body (both equally important) for pregnancy.

I also believe that one can find spirituality all around us, it doesnt have involve some god/gods. the complexity of even the simplest things in nature can still be appreciated without the need for gods... in fact I think it makes it even more amazing.

sorry for the long post

 

[RoccoBoxr]

Thanks for the thread! While I am totally open to the beliefs of religious people, I am not a follower of any particular organized religion. Especially when it comes to TTC! As a native american, I feel that there are many powers and spiritual things that work together to try to keep our earth harmonious, and I think the same things apply to our bodies when we are TTC. We need balance, we need good energy, we need good nutrition, and we need emotional support. We do not need people saying "god will just bless you when he's ready" I'm also a lab scientist, so I'm with you that I have a hard time not correcting someone when they say "god must not think it's your time", um no, anovulation and low sperm motility says it's not my time!! But all in good humor, I don't take offense when someone offers me a belief-based opinion if it's in the spirit of trying too be supportive, and as long as you don't mind my belief-based opinion either! Most people are good people, trying to be kind to one another. Good luck to all of us!

 

[westfall]

I have a hard time not correcting someone when they say "god must not think it's your time", um no, anovulation and low sperm motility says it's not my time!! [/QUOTE]

I love that! very funny!

I tend to abide by the rule that extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence, and so far ive not seen any, so I am going to put my lot in with the atheists & agnostics

 

[readerwriter]

westfall, I also grew up Roman Catholic. I'd been searching for a more progressive Christian faith, all the while knowing I was likely only "believing what I wanted to believe" and also what was culturally acceptable. However, more recently, I realized that I couldn't ignore the fact that really horrible things happen to the poorest people (natural disasters for example) and there is no god or force that intervenes. Whether there is a god or not, I don't know. But, I don't think I believe in an all-powerful, interventionist god.

 

[readerwriter]

RoccoBoxr, I also try to think similarly, that people are trying their best to be supportive and find meaning in difficult times when they offer religion-based comments. Makes me feel like an alien though! That's just not how I look at life and how it's all connected.

 

[westfall]

readerwriter: thanks for sharing! Ive found myself in a long period of searching for faith which now at 25 I am only just beginning to become confident with. I always had a feeling that I really WANTED to believe in some all caring god and afterlife but no matter how hard I tried I knew that in the back of my mind I just did not and I had to be true to myself.

It can be really hard to accept and also hard to fit in! I know that people are well meaning with their religious "inspiration" but it still rubs me the wrong was to assume in such a multicultural world that I automatically share their beliefs.

So what will you guys do when parents? what will you teach your children about faith and how do you think your (possibly) religious family will react to your irreligiousity?

 

[eebee]

I have no religion although I am, somewhat, spiritual. I don't believe in the Christian God and I cringe a little at the "God has a plan" type reasons for why I'm not pregnant yet. As with a previous poster, annovulation and low sperm count is why I'm not pregnant.

We will bring up our child(ren) the same way we were both raised - in a house that has no religion but allows everyone to figure out their own path.

 

[floatingbaby]

We haven't a set plan as to how we'll raise our children. I believe that there are many good teachings out there, from a variety of religions, and I think I'd like our kids to learn all the good stuff, to learn about the great spiritual leaders of this world, Mother Teresa, Mahatma Ghandi, Jesus Christ, Buddhist teachings, and others who teach about loving one another and living in respect of our great world.
I believe in god, but not that there is one set way, or one correct way to get to it.
I think my family will have a hard time understanding that we won't teach our children that Jesus is the Way the Truth and the Life. I think Jesus was an incredible human who wanted to teach about loving people and doing what is good and right, then people screwed it up and turned him into a religion. Whew, this could get heavy so I'll back down a bit

But yeah, in the end I just feel like indoctrinating children, to any extent, is wrong. Give the kid a chance at life - don't bring them up "knowing" some "truth" that is in fact, unknowable by it's very definition ie. how the universe was created.

 

[westfall]

But yeah, in the end I just feel like indoctrinating children, to any extent, is wrong. Give the kid a chance at life - don't bring them up "knowing" some "truth" that is in fact, unknowable by it's very definition ie. how the universe was created.

I agree with that very much! I will probably teach my children about world religions the same way that I would any mythology (like the greeks or romans). I also think it is really important to teach them strong critical thinking skills, reason and skepicism.

 

[readerwriter]

So what will you guys do when parents? what will you teach your children about faith and how do you think your (possibly) religious family will react to your irreligiousity?

I honestly don't know what I'll do yet. I'm still discovering what I believe. I like the floatingbaby's idea of teaching children about all different faiths and perspectives! I wish I knew more about what is out there outside of Christianity. Now at 29 I'm having to research and reflect on my own. I hope to provide my children with information so they can make their own decisions.

My religious Catholic family will freak out when they find out that I'm not religious and not planning to raise my children in a religion! I wouldn't be surprised if they baptize my future child sometime while they are babysitting. I am worried about it but trying to take each challenge as it comes.

What a great thread! I'd love to hear more about what other ladies are planning to do.

 

[westfall]

readerwriter: my family is very Catholic as well, my grandparents will be gutted lol! my grandmother is still on my case about getting married in the catholic church ( we have been engaged for 3.5 years and are just really casual about the whole thing, intend to just run down to city hall one day at make it official) she keeps saying "well if you dont marry in the church, you cant have your babies baptised!" oh dear...

its not as if I can say "well granny, Im actually an atheistic leaning agnostic" as she has famously told me she doesnt understand where all the "coloured" people came from if god created only adam & eve who were white!!

 

[eebee]

It makes me really glad that I was raised in a non-religious household although both my parents had been active church-goers until their early-mid twenties. I wasn't christened, neither was my sister. So I knew about religion but also knew that it wasn't necessary to have a religion in order to be a good person. It also removes any chance of pressure to raise our kids in a certain way.

 

[floatingbaby]

its not as if I can say "well granny, Im actually an atheistic leaning agnostic" as she has famously told me she doesnt understand where all the "coloured" people came from if god created only adam & eve who were white!!

oh man granny!!! too funny

 

[sarahh]

It makes me really glad that I was raised in a non-religious household although both my parents had been active church-goers until their early-mid twenties. I wasn't christened, neither was my sister. So I knew about religion but also knew that it wasn't necessary to have a religion in order to be a good person. It also removes any chance of pressure to raise our kids in a certain way.

Yeah that's how I was raised and want I plan to do with my children.

 

[Beccaboop]

Can I join you please I'm definatly an. Atheist I have been for about 12 years since I was about 14!!

 

[westfall]

Beccaboop: the more the merrier! It is good to see another atheist here! Been feeling very in the minority. it seems that most women seek out faith in the uncertain time of ttc/pregnancy andparenthood. it will be nice to chat with others who are like-minded!

Anyone here from the states? I'm from Canada where things are a bt more secular but read a gallup poll that atheists are the most dispised groups in the country! (Ahead of terrorists and homosexuals) do you American ladies find it hard to be irreligious in your country?

 

[Vankiwi]

I'm not religious and neither is my husband - and neither of our families are, either. I was christened, but only cause it was the done thing at the time and cause my Nana played the organ at the church

Growing up, I had a couple of religious friends at sometimes if I'd had a sleepover at their house on the Saturday night I would go to church/sunday school with them. My parents didn't mind, I think they knew I would figure out it wasn't for me!

If my (as yet unborn/unconceived!) kids wanted to explore religion, I wouldn't mind, they are free to make up their own minds. I don't mind other people having a belief system, as long as they don't force it on anyone else. I sometimes find it quite interesting to hear about different religions.

It does irk me though with the whole "god has a plan" thing!