Surname, what would you do?

[MummaBump]

Would your ex not agree to making your Daughters name double barrelled with yours and do the same with the new baby? thats what i have done with my children.... if not i'd go with his just to keep them the same.

 

[MummaBump]

Ohh should have read the whole thread before i posted... didn't realise he had already refused to let you make it double barrelled!

 

[sobersadie]

Yeah if you wanted your first child to have your surname you can change it any time you like. You don't need dads permission (only if you wanted it changed by deed poll or on birth certificate). As long as its not for fraud anyone can call themselves any name they like (first name or surname). My niece and nephew both had their dads name (still do on birth certificate and passport) but when they split up the mum changed their surnames back to hers for school, dentist etc.

 

[mandaa1220]

My brother, sister and I all have different last names and I've always hated it... It is very confusing and I hate when people are automatically like "oh its your half brother / sister," as if it means they don't really count...

I know your girls won't be half siblings, but it can be annoying to grow up with... but ultimately it's your decision and you should do what you feel is right

 

[Tesharika]

The decision of course is up to you but if it were me I would give the baby his surname since your older child has his name.

 

[Lara310809]

I'm pretty traditional in this case, and I think a child should have it's father's surname. If he's a decent guy, I think he deserves to have his child take his surname. If he's a deadbeat and actually bad for this child, then I would say it's your call. If he hasn't actually done anything against this new baby, or against your daughter, then I wouldn't take this away from him.

Also, if you give this new child your surname, it may imply that it's father is a deatbeat good for nothing, even if he's not. It may also allow people to think they have different fathers, which they don't, and yes, your children would eventually ask why they weren't given the same surname. I just think it's adding a lot of extra confusion if you don't give this baby his name

And as a secondary note (not that many people care about this part), but I trace my family history in my spare time, and to save confusion for anyone in the future, I think it's important to name a child after it's father (surname that is; not first name)

 

[Lara310809]

My brother, sister and I all have different last names and I've always hated it... It is very confusing and I hate when people are automatically like "oh its your half brother / sister," as if it means they don't really count...

I know it's not really related to this thread, but this comment caught my attention (so, sorry to go off on a tangent!)

Now you mention it, that is really annoying. My brother and I have the same dad, and therefore the same surname. But we have different mothers. We are technically half siblings.

But we were brought up to say we're brother and sister; not half anything. I have had people say to me "half brother? That's just another name for a stepbrother, isn't it?" or worse; "half brother? Oh, that's not really a brother at all."

Rah! He's my brother; nothing less.

 

[mommy43]

if u werent married at any point u can change ur daughters name by deed poll to urs u dont need anyones permission it WONT change her birth certificate but will be legal n u can use it for official docs. passports ect i did exactly that with my oldest her birth certificate still shows her fathers name but all other docs. have mine
u could just unofficially use urs for school ect but any thing offical u will still have to have legal surmane on or give bubs his name but u need him there to register
u d what feels right for u

 

[hattiehippo]

I'd give the new baby yours if the dad has been a waste of space - what has he done to deserve having a child named after him?

As for the kids having different surnames - you can call your elder daughter by what ever name you want. Even if you choose not to change her name its not a big deal nowadays for children to have different surnames in the same family.
I grew up with a different surname to my brother as my parents divorced when I was 5 and when my mum remarried my brother's surname was changed but mine wasn't. I was never bothered by this and it just wasn't an issue.
In fact it turned out to be a blessing in diguise as our step father was a total waste of space and my brother has since changed his name by deed poll to get rid of the adopted surname.

 

[Becky_Mummy2B]

Very tricky honey but i'd say the children would be best with the same surname for identity purposes, and he is still dad x

 

[maybebaby3]

Is there any chance your ex would agree to changing your LOs name to a double barrel, his and yours? In that case I'd go double barrel for both of them.
If he's not willing to compromise I think I would probably go for his name for #2 as well. I think you're right, they shouldn't have different names.
How do you feel about ex? Was it a "bad" breakup? If not I might consider changing my own name to a double-barrel with his in so you have the same name as your kids?

i agree with amygdala. that is a great idea. a double barrel would be a compromise, esp as u are not 2gether any more.