surnames

[Flowerew]

Hi, I was just wondering what others opinions were. I have 2 sons with their dads surname and we were never married so I have a different surname. I'm due my 3rd baby in September and I'm not sure whether she should have her dads surname or mine.
It also bothers me that my kids have a different surname to me

 

[jemmie1994]

my daughter has a double barrel name and am considering asking FOB (who has nothing to do with her now) if he will agree to her dropping his name but then am worried about if i get married and have other kids in future then Evie will still have a different name to the rest of the family but for now i want her to have my surname only and everyone calls her by my surname only anyway

 

[Jinty]

My daughter has FOB's last name which i want to change. So hard to go about it though. Especially when you need permission :/

 

[Flowerew]

I know their dad won't agree to changing their names as that's the kind of person he is its so frustrating isn't it. I don't want my little girl having a different surname to my boys either, just don't know what to do. X

 

[Jinty]

No harm in asking is there? I guess end of the day we need to ask them unfortunately

 

[Flowerew]

The only thing I get from him, when I try to talk to him, is a load of abuse

 

[Cazamatazaaa]

Both my kids have their dads name (they have dif dads) so all 3 of us have dif names

 

[angelpkj]

my daughter has a double barrel name and am considering asking FOB (who has nothing to do with her now) if he will agree to her dropping his name but then am worried about if i get married and have other kids in future then Evie will still have a different name to the rest of the family but for now i want her to have my surname only and everyone calls her by my surname only anyway

you can ask fobs permission to name change but obviously he may say no to spite you

so i did a little research as debating giving LO my partners name when/if we get married

LO can do it at the age of 16 without fobs permission
or i can take the case to court-a judge will look at the whole case and decide to over rule fobs no

they will have to prove its not because of spite as in most cases for a name change its in the childs best interest

i would give the child the same last name as his brothers,he'd perhaps feel like a family then-might be abit hard on him feeling abit different from his brothers because he doesnt have the same name

 

[xxsteffyxx]

At the end of the day you can call your LO what you want, just on official documents IE passportn driving license they have to go by the name on the BC. Harvey's dad threw a paddy when I asked to change his last name from his to mine... So I decided to change my name instead. So I now share the same last name as Harvey through a deed poll.

Harvey's name on his BC is Harvey Christopher (FOB surname) but I called him Harvey Christopher-Adam (FOB surname) minus his passport that is how everyone knows him.

I remember dating a guy who had a double barrel last name. But he always knew himself as one name. It was only when he applied for his passport that he realised he had two surnames. So when he applied for a passport his passport stated the double barrel last name, whereas his drivers license only states the name he has always been known by.

So yeah... It isn't fraud to change a last name unofficially. But in my case I changed my surname to my babys surname, yes of FOB surname too, but that doesn't faze me because one day I'll get married and it'll change. And then by then... Well, who knows? Xx

 

[Laura2919]

This is honestly something that really doesn't bother me at all. The twins have their dads name and I wouldn't want to change that! He is there dad and I believe all children should have their dads names. FOB is still in their life even if they don't see him that often, they know him and when at school they are also known by their dads name.

 

[Flowerew]

To be honest it doesn't bother me that the kids have.their dads name, it bothers me more that my surname is different. After reading your comments I am steering towards giving my daughter the same surname as her brothers and looking into changing mine to be the same x

 

[Dream.dream]

my mother in laws first child has a different dad then my OH and his younger brother, she changed her name to match the first childs surname so they all had the same name when they were born, dont know if you like thisoption

however i can say that i have 3 siblings and they all have different surnames form me and it never bothered me, they were my brothers and sisters and it didnt matter. My son has my mothers maden name because i didnt want to give him my hyphenated name so his is another different one.

 

[TattiesMum]

My 3 all had their father's surname but I used the 'known as' option when registering them for school and at their doctors' etc so that we all had the same surname apart from on passports ... once they were 16 they changed it legally by deed poll.

My main reason for doing it so early was because their real surname was very unusual and distinctive and their uncle was hitting the national headlines as an institutional paedophile with big court cases etc, so people were starting to pick up on that and ask me about it. I'd already changed my own name by deed poll before that, so the connection was being made via the children's name and I needed that to stop.

They didn't have any contact with him (and only supervised contact with FOB thanks to his own un-prosecuted paedophile charges), but I wanted them removed from any visible connection with that family.

The 'known as' option worked just fine - to the extent that when they got their NI cards through at 16 they were already in their 'known as' names rather than the names on their birth certificates. Because of that they were all able to sit their GCSEs in their known as names as well, so the deed poll was just a formality ... and very easy too - just a five minute application online

 

[Shezza84uk]

Can you chose whose surname your child has if FOB is not on the birth certificate? My DD has her fathers surname and I'm now pregnant with our son however FOB is being an arse it would be a shame that they are full siblings but one has my name and DD has his any suggestions ? X

 

[xxsteffyxx]

A birth certificate is a historical document... so you can never change it. But you can change their name via deed poll, but their birth certificate will always state the name they were given at birth.

 

[BaybeeMama]

My daughter has my last name seeing as her dad and I were not together throughout my entire pregnancy. FOB and I talked after she was born and he said he would have named her Marie instead of Marley but she could still have my last name. When she gets married her last name is going to change but until then she stuck with me LOL