Surrogacy, Adoption, Fostering

Discussion in 'Long Term Trying To Conceive' started by Angeldust, Oct 27, 2008.

  1. Angeldust

    Angeldust Guest

    Some people decide that they would like to find a surrogacy mother or adopt or even foster a child and i thought this thread would be great for them deciding to go down either of thesa paths to get there miracle baby

    :)
     
  2. JASMAK

    JASMAK Mom of three

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    I have thought about fostering, but I can see myself becoming too attatched, and never wanting to give the child back. I have thought about adoption. My husband is native, and in BC, they like to keep native children with native families, so we might be able to get a young baby easier. As far as international adoption, I have a friend who went through that and it took them 2 years to get their baby, and it was very emotional. I am not sure if I could handle that, plus the $$$ involved with that. I wish I could do surrogacy. Canada's laws has made this a very difficult option as it is illegal to pay the surrogate. If I could afford going into the states, I probably would, but there is just no way I could pay that much...I have def thought of each option tho...espesially since every m/c makes me feel that much farther from it happening.
     
  3. Angeldust

    Angeldust Guest

    Me to me and dh thought about adoption for a while now and after i lost the twins in feb we decided to apply for it but in the mean time have onec last go of trying to have our own and that last option was to go to london for a second opinon and we went in september had all bloods done and on the 4th november i go back down to see lesely regan first time i will be seeing her she will tell me my results and hopefully find something that she can do for me ...

    We decided to have another go of icsi and if this dont work and lesely regan can help my babies from dieing then we will still ttc by ourselfs

    But we applied for adoption and a social worker called out and interveiwed me and dh
    she went away and sent us a letter we have been accepted and we start training in june next year then we have to be accepted by the panel etc ...

    we have asked for a young baby no older than 18mths so we our in the 0/3 cat
    and the social worker said they get a lot of young babies so we have a good chance

    So this will be our next step if we cant get no help from st marys but fingers crossed and praying hard that we get a bfp with our icsi and st marys can help us have our own child ..

    If our icsi failes and st marys can help me keep my babys alive when pregnant then we will still ttc by ourselfs and if still no luck by the time our adoption training comes round then we will go ahead with that and if i get pg while being placed with a adoptive baby then that will be great 2 babys :)

    Trying to find a surrogate is very hard there is a site called cots and they ask for £900 i think it is just to sign up and
    that does not mean you will find a surrogate mother I would love to find a surrogate mother to help bring mine and dhs dream come true but finding one is like finding a needle in a haystack and most of them arnt even in the same country ...

    I asked my sister 3 yrs ago and offered her £10.000 she has 3 kids and she asked her dh and he said No :(
     
  4. Waiting2bMommy

    Waiting2bMommy Levi and Jax's Mommy!

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    We have thought about adopting, and would definately like to do so someday. I always thought I would be a awesome idea to be a surrogate to someone, to help someone who couldn't have a baby!
     
  5. Angeldust

    Angeldust Guest

    When you read surrogate mothers storys they say its amazing when you pass over the baby to there mother and father just to see there face light up,

    X
     
  6. chefamy1122

    chefamy1122 hating infertility

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    My husband and I have decided to adopt if are unable to conceive on our own. We are going to try another IUI and maybe IVF before we start the adoption process.
     
  7. Tory123

    Tory123 Well-Known Member

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    Angeldust you have been busy with all the threads you have opened. Mrs organised.:rofl:

    I could join all most all of them but I will start with this one then work my way through. My husband and I have just been registered foster careers we have our first placement tonight. He is 10 years old and was just left to fend for himself, he was ill and sent to the doctors on his own with a note for the doctor, he has been hit, kicked verbally abused. I would say its not easy fostering and does turn your life upside down but the rewards are amazing.
     
  8. honey08

    honey08 mum2two boys/2mc

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    dyknow,both myself and gary want 2 kids (although gettin one just seems hard enough at the mo..fx for a bfp this mth!)
    but i wud defo look in2 carrying for another couple, obviousley gary wud have a massive say in this aswell..i think its different if there the other couples sperm n egg,but dought i wud do it with my own..maybe donor egg donor sperm!! it wud terrifie me if i cudnt have kids in my life,and i wud love 2 solve it for some1 eles :)
     
  9. Angeldust

    Angeldust Guest

    Thats a great idie hun :)
    me and dh thought about it really hard and it just seems right to do it so we are both happy about it but for now till training in june next year we are ttc till then hoping we can have a baby of our own just like what you are doing really but its great that you have also decided to adopt cause even when you do adopt theres many that has gone on to have there own blood child
    and this may well be the case :hug:
     
  10. Angeldust

    Angeldust Guest

    :rofl: I know on form tonight Lol Thats lovely hun :( poor thing :cry: i know a lady that fosters
    and if i am accepted on the panel and really lucky to be placed with a baby
    then we have to have 3 people who know us both so the social worker can interveiw them to see how me and dh are etc and the lady i know who fosters said she wil be happy to do it for me :) and if i am matched with a young baby then he/she will be with a foster parent and we visit 1hr a week .....
    at foster parents house and then we will be able to take baby to park or somewhere with foster parent and then baby will come stay with us onec got to know us then onec 10mths has passed i can then get a court date and get full rights to baby and they get our surname but can not change there first name..

    Have you had any younger babys who have been adopted and been intouch with adoptive parents coming to visit the child at your house etc

    Or do you only foster older children :hug:
     
  11. Angeldust

    Angeldust Guest

    Thats like me if i never had so many lossed and had a succsess pregnancy i would do the same for others :)

    If i had a surrogate mine would be done with icsi so the egg would be fertilised on the outside and then the lady would have to have the egg put in her and she would need treatment to keep her womb strong progestrone

    I really thought a few years back my sister would of done it for me as she always got really upset when i have a loss and said if she could help me she would so i asked dh 3 years ago if we offer them both a decent amount of money then maybe they would accept and her husband said no ..

    My father was the one who asked them for me :(
    I was quite sad that he said no cause my sister kept saying if i could help you i would and i know i would of done the same for her if she was in my position and money would of never been a option but everyone is different
     
  12. Tory123

    Tory123 Well-Known Member

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    Hi angeldust

    We was told by our social worker that it would be quicker for us in this area to aim for ages 8 years-12 years but have another social worker now and going back to panel to look after from babies to 12 years. Looking forward to that, so in time we might be in the situation you spoke about. Will keep you posted, off to bowling now no rest for the wicked. Sounds like you and your dh have got a good plan. Would not expect anything else from you lol
     
  13. faye38

    faye38 Well-Known Member

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    me and my parnter are thinking about Surrogacy but using my eggs and his sperm if thay can if not use a sperm donor i have diabetes and and when i was pregnant with my 2 sons 17 years ago i had toxcema preaclapser both time i was really bad with it and i didnt have diabetes then so im thinking of my health and my gp has said it might not be safe for me to carry he said its up to me what i do ,. but we are finding it hard to find a suragate and very exspensive but i wont give up becauce me and my partner want this so much good luck to all you loverly ladys and lots of baby dust for us all :hug:
     
  14. Angeldust

    Angeldust Guest

    :rofl: Have a wonderful time at bowling hun :hugs:
     
  15. Angeldust

    Angeldust Guest

    Hope you find your surrogate mother hun and have your miracle :hugs:
     
  16. JASMAK

    JASMAK Mom of three

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    I just wanted to thank you for this thread from the bottom of my heart. Adoption is something that I have considered since my daughter was born (and they told me that it might be difficult for me to have another baby) and I have put it in and out of my mind since (depending on how things are going). Well, yesterday, I wrote to the Ministry of Children and Families (e-mail) and they wrote back today saying that since my husband is Native, we might actually be able to get a newborn baby since there is a shortage of families for native infants!!! She is sending me a package. Adopting from the ministry costs about $200. That's it! Now, I am not saying that this is necessarily the way we are going to go for sure. I am still planning on TTC. But, the process takes awhile, so why not get started and go from there. I don't plan on living my life like this forever. My husband was adopted as an infant (3 days old) and so for us, adoption seems like a possible choice. I just need to be 100% there tho, and I know I am not completely.
     
  17. JASMAK

    JASMAK Mom of three

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    This would be my #1 choice right now, but the fact that Canadians most often have to go to the USA, (because Canadian surrogates are not permitted to get paid) this option is not possible for us due to the extra $$$ involved. I really hope that if you and your partner decide to do this, it happens for you! :hug:
     
  18. Angeldust

    Angeldust Guest

    Thanks hun :hugs: thats great news , yes i agree you have to be 100% sure before you go a head with it but you have plenty of time yet as the process takes a while so reading through things that they send you and having a social worker visit you and talk with you makes it much better for you to understand everything and warm to it all :)

    Me and dh was about 90% sure as we spoke about it for a couple of years but hit that 100% after our loss in feb we read all detailes they sent us and we signed it and then a social worker visited us a few weeks later and having her talk with us it seems the right thing for us to do if our icsi failes or we lose another baby :( fingers crossed i never lose another baby again
    but thesa are the things i have to think about just incase ..

    it will be nerves but exiting the same time if we get accepted on the panel and get matched with a baby i will be buying all kinds lol
    making up for all dreams i have had of going in a shop and buying baby things

    I really hope i get a bfp and have my own baby but if thats not gonna happen then i will have to except it even though it will be tough and move on to looking forward to adoption giving all this love i have to a ickle baby who needs it :)

    :hug::hug:
     
  19. JASMAK

    JASMAK Mom of three

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    That sounds great Angeldust. I hope you get your much deserved BFP too. I hope I get one too (a keeper of course), but, if I am going to adopt, I want to be sure, because this baby isn't going to be "second best"...it's just so hard to say "I give up"...but, honestly, I am getting to that point, and with my age etc...
     

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