sonny
Mummy of Tabitha
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- Jan 6, 2008
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Hello all and thankyou for all your kind messages and support. I feel i can now write my birth story after such an emotional and tricky time over the last few weeks so here goes and sorry if i babble......
I went in to get induced on saturday 21st and once hooked up to the monitor the midwife said i was having some natural contractions so didnt want to use the gel to start me off as that could make it more painful so left me until 3pm and the natural ones wore off so then did the gel to get me going. Within 10 mins started getting mild contractions and within half an hour my hind waters were leaking. I wasn't really having a hard time with the contractions and just had some paracetamol to take the edge off,but they just felt like period pains. I got my mum over from the mainland to watch the birth with Andy(bf).
Anyway at about 10pm they came to check me and then said i was 6cm! i was shocked and chuffed as i thought i was handling it really well! Then the midwife came back with a surgeon and 2 other midwives with a mobile scan machine and said they just wanted to check the baby......thats when we saw the head and they told me the shocker......."Oooh its breech!" WTF!! Since week 30 my midwife has been saying head down! I had a feeling it would come to this all throughout my pregnancy so i was came and didnt have a choice really.
I asked if i could push but they said it will be a huge baby so its too risky.
So off i went to theatre for an emergency c-section. The surgeon and anaesthetist etc were brilliant with me but throughout the section i was shaking and felt out of my body in a way,i hated the feeling of my legs and the numbness as i was still aware of heavy sensations etc. On a lighter note The worst bit was my hands were at my sides and i felt all the fluid go over my arm! Bleaugh!
Tabitha Kathleen was born at 00.02 am on sunday 22nd June 2008 weighing a whopping 10lbs 3ozs and was 23 inches long.
I cant describe the feeling of seeing her for the first time or watching Andy hold her. I got to hold her when i was in the recovery as my arms were too shaky to trust myself before then.
My mum and Andy went home and i was transferred to my room on the ward. I had some help through the night as i couldnt move still and i had the air tightener things on my legs. We had a go at breastfeeding and she tried really hard but she had trouble getting hold of my boob as my nipples were quite small. That is when i midwife took her away from me and gave her a bottle without my permission! then proceeded to sit in my room with her cradling her and cooing at her and doing her nappies etc.....i couldnt move and i felt pushed out from my own baby. The next minute i know this midwife takes my baby out of the room again and comes back saying she will need to be taken to special care as she is going purply colour and they said her boold sugar levels had gone through the floor.This was at about 10am so had limited time with her. They got an incubator and whisked her off to NICU and i sobbed all day not knowing what was happening. at about 4pm someone from NICU came up and said her blood sugar levels were very low,she was fitting and was having trouble controlling her body temp.an Mri scan also showed a highlighted patch on her brain which could mean she was starved of oxygen at some point. I was eventually helped to go see her at about 6pm and sobbed all the time there as i felt so helpless and she looked awful hooked up to all the monitors and wires coming out of her bellybutton,nose,both arms and feet and patches all over her chest.
It was such a shock i dont think ill ever get over seeing her like that.
The first few days in NICU she was fitting at night and they put her on finabarbitone(spelling?) while they tried to stabilise her. her sugar levels were hightened then she was weaned over a week to normal levels and weaned off the fit drug and fluids.
After 5 days we got to hold her although she was still wired up and that is when they allowed me to try to breastfeed again which she did. Prior to this i was expressing in my room but could only get out 20mls every 3 hours no matter what machines we tried. The midwife staff didnt really help with that and i had to ask all the time for things like the initially asking how to express and also had to ask for my drugs ALL the time because they kept forgetting!
Anyway Tabitha was breastfeeding whenever i went down to see her but required "top ups" from bottles too as my supply was low and we were worried about her sugar levels crashing again even now at home she has breast(half hour)and top ups(up to 4 ozs) every 3-4 hours as i we didnt get the start we needed to exclusively breastfeed.
She started to improve daily and was allowed back up to maternity the week later on the monday and we finally left on the weds. She also has a flappy valve thing in her throat/tubes so she is on constant anti sickness medication 3 times a day until she grows out of it (donperidone and ranitidine) and also has infacol before every feed as she tends to keep the wind down like colic.
To top everything off throughout my pregnancy they kept detecting +1 sugars but never sent me for tests even though clearly in my notes it said i had a type 1 diabetic brother so with careful monitoring all this could have been avoided or induced earlier etc so they are having a full investigation and disciplining my midwife which i go back to get the outcome of in 6 weeks time.
Anyway we are back home now and she is gorgeous and progressing well and is very alert and responds well to her surroundings. We just have to wait for the 2nd MRI scan results now and she will continue to have appointments with NICU.
Sorry for babbling,there was a lot to tell.
I also feel very cheated out of the experience i wanted and was getting very emotional over that when i think of what she has been through when it all could have been so easily avoided and better planned. They have assured me any future pregnancies will be consultant led and not midwife led to avoid this happening again.
Anyway here are some pics of my gorgeous Tabitha.....i still call her ricey though (nicknamed ricegrain throughout pregnancy)
I went in to get induced on saturday 21st and once hooked up to the monitor the midwife said i was having some natural contractions so didnt want to use the gel to start me off as that could make it more painful so left me until 3pm and the natural ones wore off so then did the gel to get me going. Within 10 mins started getting mild contractions and within half an hour my hind waters were leaking. I wasn't really having a hard time with the contractions and just had some paracetamol to take the edge off,but they just felt like period pains. I got my mum over from the mainland to watch the birth with Andy(bf).
Anyway at about 10pm they came to check me and then said i was 6cm! i was shocked and chuffed as i thought i was handling it really well! Then the midwife came back with a surgeon and 2 other midwives with a mobile scan machine and said they just wanted to check the baby......thats when we saw the head and they told me the shocker......."Oooh its breech!" WTF!! Since week 30 my midwife has been saying head down! I had a feeling it would come to this all throughout my pregnancy so i was came and didnt have a choice really.
I asked if i could push but they said it will be a huge baby so its too risky.
So off i went to theatre for an emergency c-section. The surgeon and anaesthetist etc were brilliant with me but throughout the section i was shaking and felt out of my body in a way,i hated the feeling of my legs and the numbness as i was still aware of heavy sensations etc. On a lighter note The worst bit was my hands were at my sides and i felt all the fluid go over my arm! Bleaugh!
Tabitha Kathleen was born at 00.02 am on sunday 22nd June 2008 weighing a whopping 10lbs 3ozs and was 23 inches long.
I cant describe the feeling of seeing her for the first time or watching Andy hold her. I got to hold her when i was in the recovery as my arms were too shaky to trust myself before then.
My mum and Andy went home and i was transferred to my room on the ward. I had some help through the night as i couldnt move still and i had the air tightener things on my legs. We had a go at breastfeeding and she tried really hard but she had trouble getting hold of my boob as my nipples were quite small. That is when i midwife took her away from me and gave her a bottle without my permission! then proceeded to sit in my room with her cradling her and cooing at her and doing her nappies etc.....i couldnt move and i felt pushed out from my own baby. The next minute i know this midwife takes my baby out of the room again and comes back saying she will need to be taken to special care as she is going purply colour and they said her boold sugar levels had gone through the floor.This was at about 10am so had limited time with her. They got an incubator and whisked her off to NICU and i sobbed all day not knowing what was happening. at about 4pm someone from NICU came up and said her blood sugar levels were very low,she was fitting and was having trouble controlling her body temp.an Mri scan also showed a highlighted patch on her brain which could mean she was starved of oxygen at some point. I was eventually helped to go see her at about 6pm and sobbed all the time there as i felt so helpless and she looked awful hooked up to all the monitors and wires coming out of her bellybutton,nose,both arms and feet and patches all over her chest.
It was such a shock i dont think ill ever get over seeing her like that.
The first few days in NICU she was fitting at night and they put her on finabarbitone(spelling?) while they tried to stabilise her. her sugar levels were hightened then she was weaned over a week to normal levels and weaned off the fit drug and fluids.
After 5 days we got to hold her although she was still wired up and that is when they allowed me to try to breastfeed again which she did. Prior to this i was expressing in my room but could only get out 20mls every 3 hours no matter what machines we tried. The midwife staff didnt really help with that and i had to ask all the time for things like the initially asking how to express and also had to ask for my drugs ALL the time because they kept forgetting!
Anyway Tabitha was breastfeeding whenever i went down to see her but required "top ups" from bottles too as my supply was low and we were worried about her sugar levels crashing again even now at home she has breast(half hour)and top ups(up to 4 ozs) every 3-4 hours as i we didnt get the start we needed to exclusively breastfeed.
She started to improve daily and was allowed back up to maternity the week later on the monday and we finally left on the weds. She also has a flappy valve thing in her throat/tubes so she is on constant anti sickness medication 3 times a day until she grows out of it (donperidone and ranitidine) and also has infacol before every feed as she tends to keep the wind down like colic.
To top everything off throughout my pregnancy they kept detecting +1 sugars but never sent me for tests even though clearly in my notes it said i had a type 1 diabetic brother so with careful monitoring all this could have been avoided or induced earlier etc so they are having a full investigation and disciplining my midwife which i go back to get the outcome of in 6 weeks time.
Anyway we are back home now and she is gorgeous and progressing well and is very alert and responds well to her surroundings. We just have to wait for the 2nd MRI scan results now and she will continue to have appointments with NICU.
Sorry for babbling,there was a lot to tell.
I also feel very cheated out of the experience i wanted and was getting very emotional over that when i think of what she has been through when it all could have been so easily avoided and better planned. They have assured me any future pregnancies will be consultant led and not midwife led to avoid this happening again.
Anyway here are some pics of my gorgeous Tabitha.....i still call her ricey though (nicknamed ricegrain throughout pregnancy)
xx
Congratulations xXx
