temper-tantrums....

[BrEeZeY]

how do u deal when ur in public and they start throwing a fit, over anything???

my 2 yr old has recently started throwing fits everytime we go to the store and wont let me put anything in the cart :S my mom suggest that i just give him treats to keep him distracted but i feel like thats rewarding bad behavior, and MIL suggest jst putting him in the car and going home and coming back when DH gets home and he can stay with him, which ive been doing since ive been pregnant but it gets hard when i have other errands to run and he has started doing this other places as well and i think its silly that im letting a 2 yr old "run" me... any suggestions are greatly appreciated, we've tried bribing, smacking fingers when he starts throwing things, scolding, threats of time out and nothing seems to work

 

[punk_pig]

Sounds like he's a bit bored and is attention seeking. I don't know about in Kansas but here it would be very hard for a toddler to reach items placed in the trolley (cart) so I'm struggling to imagine how he wont "let you" place items inside. I wouldn't give him treats but I do think he needs an activity, he's too young to understand "if you do this now you'll get a time out/punishment later" so I think that is not going to work. When he's older you can start teaching him that he can't always have a game or your undivided attention and you can use rewards etc. to help him concentrate on entertaining himself while you shop or do necessary tasks, but 2yrs old is way too young for that kind of deferred gratification.

Maybe some kind of supermarket bingo so when he sees a grocery item go in to the trolley he gets to find it on his 'game sheet' and put a sticker on it or something. I don't know...good luck!

 

[RachA]

I wouldn't give him treats otherwise he'll know that the minute he's gets to the supermarket he knows he can get treats by behaving badly.

I would just tend to ignore mine as if she's not getting a reaction she tends to stop - my lo looks at me and screams, if i don't make eye contact she'll just stop but if i do she just carries on and on.

Other than that i would go if you can let someone else look after your lo - it is so boring for them.

 

[BrEeZeY]

Sounds like he's a bit bored and is attention seeking. I don't know about in Kansas but here it would be very hard for a toddler to reach items placed in the trolley (cart) so I'm struggling to imagine how he wont "let you" place items inside. I wouldn't give him treats but I do think he needs an activity, he's too young to understand "if you do this now you'll get a time out/punishment later" so I think that is not going to work. When he's older you can start teaching him that he can't always have a game or your undivided attention and you can use rewards etc. to help him concentrate on entertaining himself while you shop or do necessary tasks, but 2yrs old is way too young for that kind of deferred gratification.

Maybe some kind of supermarket bingo so when he sees a grocery item go in to the trolley he gets to find it on his 'game sheet' and put a sticker on it or something. I don't know...good luck!

we live in a small town and the store has older carts and my son is very large for his age, he is 99.9 percentile for his age, so its like trying to control a 4 yr old that acts like a 2 yr old...

thats a great idea! ill give that a go! thank you!!

 

[BrEeZeY]

I wouldn't give him treats otherwise he'll know that the minute he's gets to the supermarket he knows he can get treats by behaving badly.

I would just tend to ignore mine as if she's not getting a reaction she tends to stop - my lo looks at me and screams, if i don't make eye contact she'll just stop but if i do she just carries on and on.

Other than that i would go if you can let someone else look after your lo - it is so boring for them.

i found this worked until he realized he got attention from everyone else in the store since we live in a small town everyone knows everyone so they will act like they need to get involved and act as if im neglecting him for letting him behave like that and come over to say "oh goodness is ur mommy not listening" or "what did ur mommy not get u? just put it in the cart and she will buy it" and then they wink at him

 

[porkypig]

maybe go to a store thats a bit further out until the tantrums calm down. i personally ignore him, and although he gets looks from others, i dont carem i just carry on shopping he soon gets bored. alternatively you could head to the books aisle before you start shopping and let him flick though while youre shopping, if hes been good and you want to, you can buy him it for a once in a while treat, if not, when you get to the cashier just put it down; he might moan, but hey itll only be for a few mins and you'll be on your way out!!!! good luck xxx

 

[LovingYou]

agh my nephew does the same. he's 2 years and 3 months and when i take him shopping, or my mom takes him shopping he will SCREAM when trying to put him in the cart sometimes. Or he wants things off the shelf and he throws a huge fit and tries to get out of the cart if he doesn't get what he wants. It drives me nuts.

Honestly, i don't have too much advice since karinnas not at that age yet. But usually my mom or i sternly look at him and say "NO PETER! SIT DOWN!" he will throw a fit for a minute but he gets over it. Now my sis in law tries to fix the problem by asking if he wants candy. I personally don't think thats the right way to go about it.

Alan and i try to teach karinna the right way lol. if she gets cranky while shopping or won't let go of something, we tell her NO and take it away. i think if kids are always bribed with treats or toys then they will think its okay to behave badly.

.....and OMG! Any day now brea!!!

 

[RJsMum]

When we go shopping I bring along DS's notebook and coloured pencils and he gets to colour as we're going up and down the aisles. I also try drawing imaginary shapes with my fingers and seeing if he will copy. He is not yet 2, but perhaps a 2 year old may respond better to "helping" with the shopping and feeling like they're a part of it by helping to make the list before you go. I would also say tell them your expectations before you go in and have other things in your bag on standby that will distract/entertain.

When DS starts fussing around the store I do my best to ignore him or affirm that he sounds frustrated. If others are staring at you or him, let them. If they're parents they should understand and if they're not, they never will until they are...so sod em!

 

[Hotbump]

I ignore my two year old and when someone steps in trying to calm down saying "oh here you go" and gives him what he wants I nicely take it away from him and say "mommy said you couldnt have such thing so lets put it back" and then continue to ignore him that way the other person knows to back off!

 

[elm]

We do songs like row, row, row your boat which is fun with a trolley (especially on 'quiver' when the trolley shakes!), I talk to him about bits of shopping and generally involve him in what's going on. He asks to go shopping sometimes now as there's a lovely cafe and he's got a thing for babychinos!

 

[Seity]

It depends a lot on his behavior. He usually great when we go out. We almost always go after he's recently woken from his nap and been fed. Tired and hungry are two excellent ways to get fussy behavior from him, so we make sure those aren't factors when possible. I try to keep him entertained, by pointing things out or letting him 'hold' some of the groceries. Sometimes he'll see something he wants and can't have in which case he gets ignored, if its a mini tantrum, but if he carries on or it's really bad we go back out to the car. We'll sit in the car until he decides to behave and we can go back in or we'll just have to come back some other time.
I have no problem rewarding him with something when we get home if he's been good. I consider that rewarding good behavior. I don't give him anything right then to get him to behave because then it rewards the bad behavior.

 

[hattiehippo]

Tom's bit younger but at the moment I always take a snack for him to eat on the way round - lots of things that take a while ti eat like rice cakes and raisins so its easier to refuse to let him eat things he sees that we haven't paid for or I don't want to get. I also get him to put non breakables ine trolley which he loves doing - he tends to throw them and giggle lots. When he starts to get bored I give him a cuddle and tell him he's doing really well and we're nearly done. So far he hasn't had a major tantrum in a supermarket but I keep it quick and short and work really hard to keep him entertained - lots of making funny noises!

Can you get shopping delivered so you don't have to go or get someone to go for you for a bit?

 

[BrEeZeY]

Tom's bit younger but at the moment I always take a snack for him to eat on the way round - lots of things that take a while ti eat like rice cakes and raisins so its easier to refuse to let him eat things he sees that we haven't paid for or I don't want to get. I also get him to put non breakables ine trolley which he loves doing - he tends to throw them and giggle lots. When he starts to get bored I give him a cuddle and tell him he's doing really well and we're nearly done. So far he hasn't had a major tantrum in a supermarket but I keep it quick and short and work really hard to keep him entertained - lots of making funny noises!

Can you get shopping delivered so you don't have to go or get someone to go for you for a bit?

we live in the back woods of kansas, there isnt even a pizza place that delivers

i dont have any friends really so i dont have anyone to ask