The first trimester - forced to lie constantly?!

[icklemonster]

I feel like I'm building a huge web of lies so people don't realise I'm pregnant until I get through the 1st tri. I'm a terrible liar too and have nearly slipped up a few times.

What lies has everyone else been forced to tell?

So far my main ones are:
That I needed to swap my working days for Chinese New Year when in fact it was for my midwife appointment.

I'm not going out for a meal tonight with my friends which would inevitably filled with alcohol because my bro is supposedly coming round for a meal (he was meant to be but cancelled so I've just gone into hiding and not told my friends any different)

Telling my MiL I really want Charlotte to try eating pork this weekend so requesting it for Sunday dinner to ensure they don't do undercooked beef

Can't think of others at the moment but there are definitely more!

 

[lcsmomof6]

well I just joined so I don't know your whole story but I know you are stressing yourself out with these lies. That is a long time to keep it to yourself. I would have at least told my family. I just found out that I am expecting baby number 6 and I just told everyone. I don't care what people think. Lying is just unnecessary stress and with pregnancy fog coming I am not spending time sorting out anything. good luck to you on whatever you decide.

 

[icklemonster]

At present only DH, my Mum and my best friend know. I don't want to tell a huge array of people as I have suffered a miscarriage before, so I was very glad that time I had only told a couple of people that time, who I was subsequently happy to discuss the devastation I felt at having a loss. Still to this day only about 4 people know.

I will tell a couple more people, like my in-laws, and a couple more close friends, once we have an early scan next week and see a heartbeat.

One of my friends told everyone at work, even clients, at 9 weeks his wife was pregnant, but when she got to 12w scan she had a mmc, and for weeks people kept asking how the pregnancy was going and it was so hard to witness. I know even after 12 weeks the chance is still there, but it is so much smaller after 1st tri I feel happier announcing then. I'd much rather have to tell a few lies now to not raise suspicion than go through what my colleague did. I know everyone is different but I'm a private person when it comes to such things.

I thought it was pretty common to wait until after 1st tri to announce too. Hence assuming others would be having to make things up as to not arouse suspicion

 

[slongson]

I had to lie loads too only me my husband and best friend knew, I bled early on so quit the gym had to tell my gym buddies I couldn't afford it as our buissess wasn't doing very well, couldn't drink at parties so had a wisdom tooth infection and on antibiotics, acne were from eating junk food. Feeling sick was my hangover from the night before. I spent 14 weeks lying to everyone before telling anyone. Hard work defo but couldn't have faced people if anything had gone wrong x

 

[claudinator]

In Ireland we have lent where you give up something for 40days. I said wine is my give up. And this weekend I've strep throat so il use that for two weeks. On DS people were on to me as my Saturday night wine picture literally stopped. And when we announced pregnancy allot of people taught I was pregnant because of my wine!!!

 

[SparklesHeart]

I've thankfully just announced, so am coming clean with all my lies. The biggest one being that we went on a snowboarding holiday and everyone asking how it was etc. I had to lie and say awesome and sometimes go into detail, when actually it was awful. Couldn't board, felt so ill from altitude literally sat in the chalet everyday.

 

[Penguin20]

my parents, some brothers and sisters,nan and my partners parents and sisters know but we're not telling any friends or my younger siblings as just want to get the ok
Got a long wait for my 12 week scan so might have to tell a few white lies

 

[Leggiero]

Only my OH and I know at this point, because I had some early bleeding and am *still* waiting for my my first ultrasound. I'm pretty private and would feel so uncomfortable and upset having to tell friends and family about a MC after having shared happy news of the pregnancy.

I'm starting to feel like a con artist with all the lying! I've told multiple people I'm on antibiotics for a so-called UTI and so I can't drink. I had to stop taking naproxen for my tendonitis but continue to assure my parents I'm still taking it. My OH and I cancelled a trip to Mexico due to "money troubles" (nope, pregnancy complications) so now half my friends are pitying us for our money troubles! I've also had to tell my work I'm going for x-rays for the tendonitis but actually it's an ultrasound. Sigh. Im actually concerns people will be irked once they discover just how many lies I've told by now!!

 

[Loobs]

I struggled with the lies too! DH and I were very sneaky at Christmas and New Year, by swapping drinks every so often - he was drinking for 2 and nobody noticed. I didn't have my usual vodka one night because "I was working the next day" and people seemed to notice that.

I also had to change my work around to suit a midwife appointment and a colleague asked me straight out "are you pregnant?" Que lots of denying and red faced lying.

As soon as we had our 12 week scan we announced to the world and it felt like a weight lifted from my shoulders! Don't worry - you'll get there! X

 

[mrshan]

So far I've been able to technically tell the truth. We had a party this weekend, and I told everyone that I couldn't drink because I'm on a medicine that makes me really sleepy. That's true, because the progesterone supplements do make me really, really drowsy. So far I've been able to go to the doctor's on my lunch breaks because the office is only a couple of miles away.

I haven't had anyone ask if I'm pregnant yet, and I'm not sure what I'll say if they figure it out in the next month before we can announce.

 

[jumpingo]

I haven't had anyone ask if I'm pregnant yet, and I'm not sure what I'll say if they figure it out in the next month before we can announce.

in november, we weren't telling anyone (hindsight: good thing!!) and once when i said something that made someone say, "oooh, maybe you're pregnant...?" and i just let out a laugh and said, "yeah, i wish!" and it went over perfectly.

 

[maryanne1987]

We announced yesterday and It was such a relief! The lying to everyone was the hardest part for me. Didn't want to tell anyone due to our previous losses. But as I've had HG and had to spend time in hospital and had lots of early scans im sure people were thinking something was really wrong with me. They understood once we came clean yesterday though and thank goodness didnt hold any lies against me. It's horrible having to lie to people you care about. At least it's for a good reason though!

 

[Bing28]

We have told immediate family and a couple of close friends but work collegues don't know yet.

So far on work nights out I've done dry January (where you give up alcohol for January), my friend drank for two (I pretended to take sips and then we swapped glasses every so often) and I had a bladder infection on another night out (hence why I was drinking cranberry juice).

And I couldn't go on the work ski trip because I couldn't afford it!

I had to come clean to my boss last Tuesday though as I had to get an emergency doctors/hospital appointment due to a chickenpox scare. My workfriend said to just lie to him but I was so stressed out with my situation I couldn't be doing with added stress of thinking up and keeping up a lie. In some situations I think it's just easier to tell the truth.

 

[skris4]

I understand where you are coming from. It is what you need to do to get through a very tough period. I don't feel that bad about lying constantly because I stress about losing this bean.
I've lied about
a) Quitting drinking in 2015 - to explain lack of alcohol
b) Having allergies - I am just tired
c) Suffering from back pain - To explain why I started running but stopped in less than 2 weeks.
On some days I feel no symptoms and I am sure that not telling anyone until 13 weeks are complete is the right move for me.

 

[oneill614]

I feel like we have told too many people, but it just kind of got around among friends. My boyfriend's friends own businesses together, so they tell their gfs and then everyone knows. I am still holding off on telling my coworkers though. My bf can explain it to all his friends if something happens, but I'm not going to go around having to tell all my coworkers.

I'm going to an event with a bunch of them tomorrow though and it may be hard to hide that I am not drinking. I am probably going to take a beer, pretend to drink a little, and then bring it to the bathroom and pour most of it out. I have also just been telling everyone I'm trying not to drink much because I'm running a lot, training for a race. I've been saying no to drinking invitations for a month now though, so someone will catch on soon.

 

[discohospital]

I hear you, but don't feel bad!

Just say you have other plans, or that you're tired, not feeling too well etc so in a way it's true! If you have a dr. appointment just say you do but say it's routine or for something else. I have a mild thyroid condition and I blamed every appointment on that, and it wasn't a total lie. I say to leave some truth in there because I'm a horrible liar as well and if it's at least somewhat true I'm better at it

I was forced to tell my job at 19 weeks because my back hurt so bad I felt like it was broken (prenatal massage lead to this pain, oops) and the doctor's note for my job stated I was pregnant.

Nobody really resents you for keeping it private. Or at least they shouldn't! Its good custom to keep it hushed until the 2nd trimester at least.

Good luck!!!

 

[tallybee]

Ahhh I know what you mean! It's quite hard work.

We just spent 10 days on a family holiday with my dad and his wife plus my brother and his gf so it was pretty tough lol. Mainly just making out that me being tired and nauseous was just from the travelling and that I wasn't having any alcohol as a health thing.

But yeah I'm quite worried about my dad's reaction when we do announce. He can be an abrasive bugger.

 

[Dark_Star]

I can't even lie I can no longer hide my twin belly, it's popped out like a 4 or 5 month single baby belly!

 

[pipsqueakmum]

exactly the same driving me bonkers. the worst thing is lying to friends - they dont have children and so find it hard to understand. Iv supposed to have met up with a friend a few times and had to cancel horrific nauesea and suspected anaemia so not been oood and she told me off for not being a good friend to her. Now a friend in the NW is plannign a girly weekend in london (me and my other close friend in our trio live that way) and shes planning on transport.

I dont know what to do....ill feel terrible going yeah yeah come down awesome and then going actually i cant.....
tempted to mention it to them....i had a scan this morning and so far as blood tests, scans and internals go theres no reason why this shouldnt remain viable....... if you get what i mean?

 

[pipsqueakmum]

oh and i am getting podgier so.......