The "In-Laws"

[Justinel101]

Hi everyone!
I haven't posted on here in a long time but i'm in desperate need of advice before I lose my mind. I apologize for how long this is...
My son is now 14 months old and since he has been born and even before that my boyfriend, his fathers, family has caused countless problems. I came from a very family oriented family. We care about eachothers feelings and sit down and talk when there is a problem that needs to be adressed. They are far from perfect though. My grandmother can be a bit snobbish. My mom likes to hold alot of her thoughts in her head and not tell me what shes really thinking. But they support me no matter what and help me when I need it.
My boyfriends family on the other hand...since I became pregnant and his sister found out she messaged me over facebook. The short version of this "You better hope you aren't pregnant you little w****. It probably isn't even my brothers kid. I hope you fall down some stairs" etc. This continued just about up until I gave birth. Then I had him and in the hospital his mom shows up after i've been in labor, awake, for 28 hours and just pushed out an almost 9 pound baby, and bitches because she can't stay long. I was just about to FINALLY sleep when she walks in, without calling first to ask if it was ok. Then his sister calls swearing and yelling. Nothing changes. I am forced to move out of my boyfriends because his sister, 26, moves back in. She posts on facebook that me and my family are a bunch of c**** because i didn't wanna bring my 1 week old out in a snow storm to visit people. She has a kid to you'd think she'd understand.
Fast forward to now, his mom and sister made his first birthday be filled with drama and tears for me because they "hate" my family for who knows what reason and we had to have separate parties. My boyfriend and I had already broken up over the summer because his family pushed us so far apart and weve now moved to another town to try and make it work without them. They swear and yell around my son. Calling him a little sh** and other profanities. It makes me extremely uncomfortable so i dont like to go over there. Now i'm planning his baptism and its already started "why do you have to baptize him" "you think you're better than us because youre baptizing him" Dumb stuff like this. How do I even address this at this point? Its pushing my boyfriend and i apart again and I am completely lost on what to do.

 

[missk1989]

I would be asking your bf to have a word. Not sure how old you are (just because of the section you are posting in) but I would make it clear that if they dont change then they will not be allowed near my son. And I would put my foot down on this as their behaviour is unacceptable. Does your bf see the way they are?

 

[Caitie44]

Wow, no. After the comment on how they hoped you fell down the stairs, they wouldn't be seeing me or my child EVER. You've kept these awful, toxic people around your precious baby far too long. When he gets older, you do realize all they're going to do is talk shit about you to him, right? Or worse, say these awful things about him to him.

You need to have a long talk with your boyfriend and figure out where his priorities lie. It should be you and your child > his family no matter what. If he can't pull his head out of his ass and make the two of you his top priority, you're better off without him sweetie. He needs to start defending you! What has he said so far about the way his family has been treating you?

Stop seeing these horrible, trashy people.

 

[Justinel101]

My boyfriend doesn't really say anything. He's tried in his own way I guess but I don't think he's defended us enough. We're currently facing a break up but we live together and I'm scared if we break up he's going to move back in with his family and I'm going to have no say over my son being around them. I feel so guilty for even bringing my son into a family like this to begin with. And now it feels like all that's holding my boyfriend and I together is my son and my caution over my boyfriends family being left alone with him.

 

[Caitie44]

Oh, hon. Big hugs. Is there any way to screenshot things that have been said about you and your LO? Write down and keep track of every instance they've called you or LO a name, said something offensive, etc. Contact a lawyer and ask for a free consultation to see if they have any grounds for GPR.

After speaking to a lawyer, as scary as it may be, you need to speak with your boyfriend. Ask him why he thinks his significant other and son can be spoken to in the way his family has done. If he can't stand up for you and your LO, that's just as bad as being the one saying these awful things.

 

[tinkerbelle93]

I have had similar experiences with my OHs mums side... Pure trouble makers, ruin everything, dish out abuse for no reason ect. Really relate to what you've written.

I tried to speak to them, tried to get my oh to speak to them, even wondered whether I was doing something wrong and kept trying to please them, nothing changed. Now I haven't seen or spoken to them in over a year. OH pops by occasionally but that's as far as it goes. Sadly sometimes it's the only way.

 

[CandyDay]

I would talk to a lawyer and see what they say. And I would keep the nasty messages that you were sent so that you have proof about what they are like. And keep track of the nasty stuff they do and say by writing it down and putting the date it happened. So that if you do end up breaking up you have documents about what has happened.
I would also tell the in laws that if they are swearing about your son that you will hang up on them or if you are at their house then I would leave. For the sake of your child you need to not put up with it. And if you need to block them on facebook then do so. Do not put up with people like that and if you need to keep them out of your life. And your boyfriend needs to stick by you and stop allowing it to happen.....he needs to protect his child.

 

[BabyCleo]

damn thats rough.... you need to cut these people out. no more communication, nothing. I would do that to protect my baby. You don't need trashy people around your child, and they sound just downright trashy.

Id ask your OH to stand up to them, and if that dosent work cut off all communication. Good luck xo

 

[mummy2boysx]

In laws. Eesh. Didn't want to read and run x

 

[amygwen]

Sorry to hear your OH's family is difficult and basically tearing your little family apart
I don't know how old y'all are, but your OH really needs to stick up for his family now and if that means he cuts them out of his life too, that is what will need to happen. Overall, you and especially your kiddo, do not need to have these negative influences in your life. Hopefully over time, they will become less asshole-ish, but you never know. Hugs!