The stigma of FF

[emyandpotato]

I don't know if I'm allowed to ask this, I hope so! Anyway, I'm writing an article about the stigma of formula feeding and was wondering if you could give me your experiences for a bit of research and to see a few other perspectives? Just things like why you chose/had to FF, how you personally feel about it, how you perceive other people feel about it, if you've had any positive/negative reactions, how you feel towards BF mothers, and how you feel BF mothers act towards FF ones. It is absolutely not a dig at anyone, BF or FF. I'm not trying to put anyone down, I just find it an interesting subject. I FF so there is no judgement on my part.

 

[vintage67]

https://www.babyandbump.com/baby-cl...ncing-bf-failure-guilt-need-support-hugs.html

 

[oblada18]

Considering that in the UK 8 out of 10 babies at 6 weeks onwards are being FFed I am not sure that there is really a stigma.. a small minority cannot really stigmatise a strong majority... so it may be just a perception of FFeeding mothers (as indeed seems to come across from the other thread mentioned here...feeling of guilt etc)...

 

[Gbobs]

I started off BF'ing LO but I just hated it. Even though LO seemed to be latching on ok and started putting on weight, once my milk came in I felt very self conscious, hated my boobs and how they felt and the sensation of LO sucking made me feel sick. I debated FF for a good 10 days but felt a horrible guilt every time I decided to switch despite me originally assuming I would just FF when I first got pregnant and never having a problem with it. However BF was stressing me out so much I made the switch and never looked back. FF just felt so much better.

In "real life" and in the circle of other mums I know, there is no judging or divide between the FF and BF mums and we're all interested in how each other is getting on without any negative vibes or any feeling of any sort of "divide." For the BF mums I know, I don't see them as an "us" and "them." However I do feel that a lot more on this forum (don't go on any others so don't know if they are any different) but I think that is because there are a lot of mums on here and some with very extreme views which can come across quite strongly on some posts. Most people though seem to respect the other's choices.

I'm very comfortable with FF now and know it is the right choice for both of us - given my experience with BF I'm not sure I'd even think about it as a choice if I had another child.

 

[Chelsea.ann1]

I started off BF.

But,

*I assumed my BAD self consiousness/modesty would magically dissapear.. it didn't
*LO could not hold an OZ down, found out later she has reflux. (Didn't know it was even a condition early on)
*LO had hard time latching
*LO screamed and screamed between feeds, found out recently she has true cow milk and soy protein allergies & I'm a milk (cow/soy) ADDICT.
*I was frustrated/tired etc. LO was hungry and miserable

Though I know 100% there are definitely thing's I could have done to make it work, quite frankly, I didn't want too. I didn't enjoy it like I thought I would.

I felt guilty, very horribly guilty for days..
Than realized I was actually enjoying LO and I had nothing to feel guilty about.. I was ff I'm fine, to feel guilty I felt like I was insulting my mother who is honestly my best friend.

Where I live it's VERY pro breastfeeding. I get weird looks for having a bottle out, and everyone would try FORCING bf down my throat.

I feel it should be realized that science is just that "science" and that it doesn't take into account the other variables of day to day life. & though it's interesting it shouldn't be taken to seriously.


I'm sick of feeling like a minority or a bad parent just for feeding my child in a way that works for US best, but in a way that some ppl disagree with. I love her just as much as others love their little one's... I can't stand seeing any mother recieve any grief for feeding whichever way they choose; bf or ff. It's that we are feeding and loving our lo's that matters.


Oh - in the US and a few other countries it's VERY different. Definitely is more of a stigma against ff than the UK.

 

[summer rain]

I have done both and to be honest I found in the area where I live there is more of a stigma with regard to BF than FF and that is the honest truth (I have been told by others, including FF mums who live in other areas of London it is similar where they are as well), to the extent that this time around I did very seriously consider going straight to formula just to avoid any harassment from medical professionals. Long story but second youngest had allergies and the HVs and my old GP just said it must be low supply and there is really no such thing (despite my slightly older son actually being tested and diagnosed with several allergies and nearly dying from a bad reaction). I ended up putting my second youngest on comfort formula because at the time that was the only thing available in normal shops that he didn't react to, it wasn't ideal as he should have been prescribed a completely non-allergenic formula because he still has the allergies and intolerances now but it was the best I could do at the time. Still, I just couldn't face their judgement again so I did plan to go straight to formula-which may surprise some people here, but yes its true. However when I looked into it getting the correct formula on the NHS can take absolutely months and I couldn't deal with that either; so I BF this time, cutting out dairy, soya and some other problem foods for a few months when my son exhibited symptoms (though he did have one bottle of formula in SCBU because of their policy of all babies having to have formula before being discharged, and reacted really badly) and pretty much bypassed the local HVs and just went to my GP with any issues. But anyway I don't judge anyone for using formula; most people I know have FF from birth and there really is no stigma in this area. I cannot speak for anywhere else but here this is definitely the case. xx

 

[midori1999]

Considering that in the UK 8 out of 10 babies at 6 weeks onwards are being FFed I am not sure that there is really a stigma.. a small minority cannot really stigmatise a strong majority... so it may be just a perception of FFeeding mothers (as indeed seems to come across from the other thread mentioned here...feeling of guilt etc)...

I agree with this. I know lots of people with babies or who are pregnant and except for women I have met at my BF group, not one of them breastfeeds only one is going to try and BF their next baby. Also, although I tried to BF all of my children, I switched to formula pretty early on (before a month) with my first three because of misconceptions I, along with midwives and HV's had and I thought at the time I had no choice. I never felt stigmatised or thought of in any negative way for FF though and I do wonder if how I felt about FF myself had anything to do with that, I felt completely fine about it and even now I am more informed, I still feel completely fine that I did it. I did the best I could at the time with the information I had at the time.

I've never had any negative comments either way.

 

[Vickie]

Thread has been moved to press & research (it's a research thread anyways) and edited a bit to remove mention of other threads and members (never helps things to bring old posts up).

Let's keep it to the topic on hand so that OP can get the answers she needs for her article

 

[Chelsea.ann1]

I have done both and to be honest I found in the area where I live there is more of a stigma with regard to BF than FF and that is the honest truth (I have been told by others, including FF mums who live in other areas of London it is similar where they are as well), to the extent that this time around I did very seriously consider going straight to formula just to avoid any harassment from medical professionals. Long story but second youngest had allergies and the HVs and my old GP just said it must be low supply and there is really no such thing (despite my slightly older son actually being tested and diagnosed with several allergies and nearly dying from a bad reaction). I ended up putting my second youngest on comfort formula because at the time that was the only thing available in normal shops that he didn't react to, it wasn't ideal as he should have been prescribed a completely non-allergenic formula because he still has the allergies and intolerances now but it was the best I could do at the time. Still, I just couldn't face their judgement again so I did plan to go straight to formula-which may surprise some people here, but yes its true. However when I looked into it getting the correct formula on the NHS can take absolutely months and I couldn't deal with that either; so I BF this time, cutting out dairy, soya and some other problem foods for a few months when my son exhibited symptoms (though he did have one bottle of formula in SCBU because of their policy of all babies having to have formula before being discharged, and reacted really badly) and pretty much bypassed the local HVs and just went to my GP with any issues. But anyway I don't judge anyone for using formula; most people I know have FF from birth and there really is no stigma in this area. I cannot speak for anywhere else but here this is definitely the case. xx

The hospitals really give you grief for bf?? of all places?? really?? and the baby's have to have formula before being discharged??

wow.
never realized just how different our countries really were from each other, if anything i'd assume us was pro formula as we're sadly revolved around money.
interesting.

 

[summer rain]

I do know people who have had similar experiences in the US, so maybe it depends on the state etc you're in; or even individual hospitals. My hospital doesn't have a policy that 'normal' babies who don't spend time in SCBU have to have formula before being discharged (though many of the midwives do pressure mums to give 'just one bottle') but they have a policy that babies who are put in SCBU for whatever reason have to be able to drink 'well from a bottle' and unwritten rules say that means formula-even their software to write up the discharge notice has no option to write anything else but that baby is being fed by bottles of formula! My son's one said he was exclusively formula fed upon discharge. My eldest they actually insisted on completely putting him on formula the entire time he was in SCBU (readmitted with jaundice) and it was incredible that I could get back to pretty much exclusive breastfeeding once we got him out of there. It actually contradicts their official written policy (a PDF file on their website) but there you go. There are hospitals in the UK though (particularly in certain cities, including London) where formula is pushed post-natally and staff interpret a baby feeding 'well' before they are discharged after being born to mean having formula alongside colostrum-hence most mothers I know leave hospital combi-feeding even if that wasn't what they wanted. According to a survey in 2002 1/3 of babies born here were given supplemental formula before leaving hospital. Then after babies are discharged doctors and health visitors put pressure to give top-ups of formula, often with no sound reason, with three of my boys I have been advised to give top-ups at some point or another. The BF rates in the UK fall dramatically after one week and in some areas are only around 30% at birth xx

 

[Chelsea.ann1]

Wow.

I know that years ago, even where i live, it was more pro formula.

But since I've been old enough to comprehend thing's really it's so pro bf. My hospital actually told me don't bother asking for formula they're a pro breastfeeding hospital (i'm sure if it was deemed necessary or i begged i could have gotten it). But that was a bit rude, considering I had intentions to exclusively bf at that time.

I do think more east in the states it's probably more for formula but definitely is NOT the case where I live. WA state, the northwest. I've heard similar from southwestern canadians.

Just weird.


I think if everyone realized the differences in all the different areas we live there wouldnt' be so much stigma, instead there'd be a little more understanding.