RealityPuppet
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littelbopeep gave me an idea to post things to get our minds off the ttw. Keeping a sense of humor durring the tww is tough, especially when all you can think about is poas 
Here are a few things to keep you a little sane during the dreaded wait.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rTYJ5d2MWpw
You know you're trying to conceive when.....
Women:
* You think you might wet your pants every morning because you can't go to the bathroom until your thermometer beeps.
* Your calendar at work is color coded for the days leading up to ovulation.
* You tell people you work for the FBI because they look at you funny when you use jargon like BBT, TTC, and AF.
* Anyone else would need a decoder to read your fertility chart.
* Suddenly, everyone around you is either pregnant, nursing or with a child
* You've created voodoo dolls for all of the people who've asked, "Are you pregnant yet?"
* You're about as interested in sex as you are in balancing the checkbook.
Men:
* You open your briefcase and find a sticky note from your wife that says, "Don't drink any coffee, no cocktails after work, don't stress out and keep your 'boys' cool."
* You're sleeping in front of the fireplace and showering at the gym because your wife turned down the water heater at home and took away your electric blanket.
* You look like someone out of a rap video because your new boxers keep riding up and out of the top of your pants.
* You feel like your wife has an alarm clock in her shorts because every four weeks or so, she comes running out of the bathroom saying, "Drop your pants--it's time!"
* Someone asks you what day it is and you reply, "Cycle day 20."
* You know enough about the workings of the female body to teach a health class at the high school.
* You're about as interested in sex as you are in balancing the checkbook.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JuTE7oufqYU
You know you're TTC when...
- the Big 'O' no longer refers to orgasm, but instead to ovulation
- you show everyone who will look at your bbt charts
- every twinge is a potential sign: ovulation pain OR perhaps implantation
- it no longer strikes you as the least bit odd to check out at the pharmacy with both HPTs and tampons in your cart.
- you schedule your social events around your ovulation day
- if your OPK comes up +, you cancel all social engagements that night so you can BD & lie with your legs elevated and butt up in the air afterwards
- you talk using mysterious acronymns that only your ttc buddies understand: ttc, BD, ewcm, bbt, opk, 2ww
- your morning motto is: "Don't talk to me until I've taken my temperature"
- you take your temperature more than once a day (committed TTCer)
- you refuse to finish decorating that 3rd bedroom in your new house, because you can't stand the thought of getting it just the way you want it only to have to tear it apart next month in order to make room for the nursery you'll be needing.
- you put off buying any fall/winter clothes, because you hope they won't fit by the time the weather gets cooler.
- you clip coupons for OPKs and HPTs
- your doctor says, "Now take these home and inject this needle into your stomach every day" and you don't even flinch.
- you spend more on OPKs, HPTs, and fertility supplements than you do on clothes
- the thought of nausea makes your heart skip a beat!
- you make a mental note of what day of your cycle it is before you say "ok" to a drink
Warning: Explicit Language and Content
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AnYywA2c29E
One ovary says to the other ovarie, "Hey, did you order any furniture?"
The other ovarie says, "No, why?"
"There are a couple of nuts outside trying to shove an organ in."
Why does it take 50 million sperm to fertilize one egg?
Because they won't ask for directions either!
Two sperm were swimming through a woman's body.
The first said, "Whew. I'm getting tired. Just how far is it to the uterus?"
"The uterus?" the second laughed. "We're not even past the esophagus yet!"
How can you tell if a man has a high sperm count?
You have to chew before you swallow!
How do you know that God isn't a woman?
Because if God was a woman then sperm would taste like chocolate!
You know you are trying to get pregnant when:
You look at your vegetarian sandwich and the alfalfa sprouts look like sperm . . .
or . . . Someone asks you today's date and you reply "Day 21" . . .
Why do gypsies have trouble getting pregnant?
They have crystal balls.
Why do male basketball players have trouble getting their spouses pregnant?
All they do is dribble.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NXjhi8htHSc
80-year-old Sperm Sample
An 80-year-old couple went to the doctor to find out if it was too late for them to have kids. The doctor told them that it would be best if the husband gave a sperm sample, as he could then check his count and see if it was possible for him to father a child.
He gave them a jar and sent them into a side room to get a sample. After much groaning and grunting and even a little screaming the couple came and gave the jar back to the doctor. On checking the doctor found it to be empty and asked the couple to explain.
Well, said the old man, I tried with my left hand, then I tried with my right hand, then with both hands. Then my wife tried with her right hand, then with her left hand, then with both hands. Then my wife tried with her mouth, first with her teeth in, then with her teeth out, but no matter how we tried we couldnt get the lid off the jar.
Feel free to post more!
for everyone and good luck with your BFPs!
Here are a few things to keep you a little sane during the dreaded wait.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rTYJ5d2MWpw
You know you're trying to conceive when.....
Women:
* You think you might wet your pants every morning because you can't go to the bathroom until your thermometer beeps.
* Your calendar at work is color coded for the days leading up to ovulation.
* You tell people you work for the FBI because they look at you funny when you use jargon like BBT, TTC, and AF.
* Anyone else would need a decoder to read your fertility chart.
* Suddenly, everyone around you is either pregnant, nursing or with a child
* You've created voodoo dolls for all of the people who've asked, "Are you pregnant yet?"
* You're about as interested in sex as you are in balancing the checkbook.
Men:
* You open your briefcase and find a sticky note from your wife that says, "Don't drink any coffee, no cocktails after work, don't stress out and keep your 'boys' cool."
* You're sleeping in front of the fireplace and showering at the gym because your wife turned down the water heater at home and took away your electric blanket.
* You look like someone out of a rap video because your new boxers keep riding up and out of the top of your pants.
* You feel like your wife has an alarm clock in her shorts because every four weeks or so, she comes running out of the bathroom saying, "Drop your pants--it's time!"
* Someone asks you what day it is and you reply, "Cycle day 20."
* You know enough about the workings of the female body to teach a health class at the high school.
* You're about as interested in sex as you are in balancing the checkbook.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JuTE7oufqYU
You know you're TTC when...
- the Big 'O' no longer refers to orgasm, but instead to ovulation
- you show everyone who will look at your bbt charts
- every twinge is a potential sign: ovulation pain OR perhaps implantation
- it no longer strikes you as the least bit odd to check out at the pharmacy with both HPTs and tampons in your cart.
- you schedule your social events around your ovulation day
- if your OPK comes up +, you cancel all social engagements that night so you can BD & lie with your legs elevated and butt up in the air afterwards
- you talk using mysterious acronymns that only your ttc buddies understand: ttc, BD, ewcm, bbt, opk, 2ww
- your morning motto is: "Don't talk to me until I've taken my temperature"
- you take your temperature more than once a day (committed TTCer)
- you refuse to finish decorating that 3rd bedroom in your new house, because you can't stand the thought of getting it just the way you want it only to have to tear it apart next month in order to make room for the nursery you'll be needing.
- you put off buying any fall/winter clothes, because you hope they won't fit by the time the weather gets cooler.
- you clip coupons for OPKs and HPTs
- your doctor says, "Now take these home and inject this needle into your stomach every day" and you don't even flinch.
- you spend more on OPKs, HPTs, and fertility supplements than you do on clothes
- the thought of nausea makes your heart skip a beat!
- you make a mental note of what day of your cycle it is before you say "ok" to a drink
Warning: Explicit Language and Content
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AnYywA2c29E
One ovary says to the other ovarie, "Hey, did you order any furniture?"
The other ovarie says, "No, why?"
"There are a couple of nuts outside trying to shove an organ in."
Why does it take 50 million sperm to fertilize one egg?
Because they won't ask for directions either!
Two sperm were swimming through a woman's body.
The first said, "Whew. I'm getting tired. Just how far is it to the uterus?"
"The uterus?" the second laughed. "We're not even past the esophagus yet!"
How can you tell if a man has a high sperm count?
You have to chew before you swallow!
How do you know that God isn't a woman?
Because if God was a woman then sperm would taste like chocolate!
You know you are trying to get pregnant when:
You look at your vegetarian sandwich and the alfalfa sprouts look like sperm . . .
or . . . Someone asks you today's date and you reply "Day 21" . . .
Why do gypsies have trouble getting pregnant?
They have crystal balls.
Why do male basketball players have trouble getting their spouses pregnant?
All they do is dribble.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NXjhi8htHSc
80-year-old Sperm Sample
An 80-year-old couple went to the doctor to find out if it was too late for them to have kids. The doctor told them that it would be best if the husband gave a sperm sample, as he could then check his count and see if it was possible for him to father a child.
He gave them a jar and sent them into a side room to get a sample. After much groaning and grunting and even a little screaming the couple came and gave the jar back to the doctor. On checking the doctor found it to be empty and asked the couple to explain.
Well, said the old man, I tried with my left hand, then I tried with my right hand, then with both hands. Then my wife tried with her right hand, then with her left hand, then with both hands. Then my wife tried with her mouth, first with her teeth in, then with her teeth out, but no matter how we tried we couldnt get the lid off the jar.
Feel free to post more!
for everyone and good luck with your BFPs!
I love the video with the pregnant girls from the LA Comedy Club! Epic 
