The wrong thing to say to a TTCer! Tell us here ;-)

[Coconuts]

Hi!
I'm 31 and DH and I have been TTC for 8 months, this is the 9th. We had one 7week m/c at the beginning of the year and I seriously need a project.

I'm putting together a sort of semi comic TTC survival guide with the help and experience of you guys if you'll help.

What I really want to know is what comments from well meaning friends and family really push your buttons?????

Incessant asking.... any news yet??? Gets me going. It's not like I'm going to see you at the supermarket and reply to that silly question with a
'well since you mention it, I'm ten weeks already, I just forget to mention it.' Yeah right. What planet are they on?

The number one has to be 'relax and it'll happen when you least expect it'. Yeah, whatever. I mean, what does that even mean? The stork is going to pee on a stick for me and then leave it lying around for me to find sometime before I've even ovulated. That's the only way it'd be a surprise for me at least.

So what's on your list?


What have your friends and family said to you to really push your buttons while you're TTC.

 

[hope88]

Hiya when i had my 2nd mc and me and my partner decided to try again. My partners mum said well uv lost 2 now so doesnt look like you can have kids ( that really upset me) then a month or so later my dad said is it really worth bothering if your just going to keep losing them. And my partner has said well its got to be you as ive proven its not me because i have a kid ( he has a child from a previous relationship) my friend turned around and said you need to relax and stop wanting a baby so much otherwise your going to make your body think its pregnant and your get a bfp and it will turn out your not even pregnant (what the hell) as you can tell i have such supportive family and friends NOT. But im a fighter and il soldier on

 

[jellybeanxx]

Pregnant girl at work starting every sentence with "well you won't understand until you've been pregnant..."

 

[lisap2008]

"Stop TTC and it will happen" is what I get told alot.

 

[motherofboys]

Not to me personally but I was there when my mother in law said to my husbands friends wife "isnt it about time you had one?" when pretty much EVERYONE knows that they have had a hell of a time, been trying for years and its simply NOT happening.

 

[mellywelly]

How can it be that hard when young girls get pg on their first time?

 

[Coconuts]

Woah, you guys! Thanks for the replies, you guys must have some thick skin. I'm so sorry that people can really be so insensitive - I bet you're so glad you have BnB. I've found my online gals the best support.

Don't give up guys! Thanks!

Any more???

 

[MackMomma8]

"You can't afford a kid, anyway...."

Yeah, that one made me see RED.

 

[pdxmamabear]

when my dr asks " how old is your youngest? isnt it about time for you to start making another one?"

or " dont you already have 3 boys? why would you even consider having another child?"

"wern't you late a few months ago? maybe you just dont know how to calc your period"

my Dh and i have 3 boys total 2 from my previous marriage and 1 from his but since they are so close in age and loook so similar no one can tell that we are a blended family.

 

[Magan85]

Me and my OH arent married yet and thats our choice since hes already been married before weve been together over 3 and a half years and hes just got his devorce finalized in november. OH is 36 and says he wants kids before hes 40 so marriage isnt our first priority, My mother keeps telling me "You know your father and I tried and tried but I didnt get pregnant until right after our wedding"
So if I can come up with a ton of money for a wedding are you telling me Ill get pregnant right away? Lol

 

[xxLeighxx]

I havent really had awful ones but i hate when my parents say comments like 'Leighs just got a new job, shes not that silly' i mean cuz my job isnt still guna be there after i have a baby right!! like having a baby is silly when youre in a fantastic relationship and feel ready grrr. although this isnt related when i was pregnant with my DD my midwife kept saying at every appt, 'youre abit young to be having a baby arent you' i mean i was 18 so was fairly young but it was my choice and she said it EVERY time...i was like erm no shit thats why im here grrr x

 

[sarahbear398]

I have family and friends all the time ask me "So when are you guys going to have a baby?" It just makes me mad. Like we are choosing not being able to have a baby for the year we have been trying.

 

[Indi84]

I detested 'just have fun trying ' Detested it! It's like assuming all sex I have is crap, so now I'm trying I should start having fun with it! The weird comments don't stop when you pregnant so keep your thick skins!!

 

[Coconuts]

Like it's not hard enough right?!
TTC is for hard core gals only. TTC for a year plus should result in a medal of valour or something. When AF comes for the one year TTC anniversary marker she should bring a kind of army beret and we should automatically graduate into the Special Armed TTC Forces. Armed with thick kevlar skin, and nerves of steal. If this was common knowledge, wise crackers wouldn't mess with us then.

You guys are awesome.

 

[MackMomma8]

Special Armed TTC Forces. I love it.

 

[Casper72]

"You can't afford a kid, anyway...."

Yeah, that one made me see RED.

You are KIDDNG me?!?! Outrageous!

 

[MackMomma8]

"You can't afford a kid, anyway...."

Yeah, that one made me see RED.

You are KIDDNG me?!?! Outrageous!

I wish I was. It wasn't from a close friend or family member (THANK GOD!) but it was from someone who knows us well enough. We were talking (in general) about how expensive kids are and I made the comment about how I just didn't know how we were going to budget daycare with our incomes. Mind you, we weren't even trying at the time... but still. I think she took it to mean that comment was fair game given the topic of conversation. Uh, no?

 

[Elski]

Close friend who's just fallen preg: "how about you, are you still trying?"

Me: "Yes but my endo's been really bad, I think it's probably gonna end up being more surgery, bit down about it really."

Close friend: "Oh, it'll be fine!"

Awww, I'm so glad you've got x-ray eyes that can see inside my abdominal cavity

 

[MackMomma8]

Elski really? I want her x-ray vision... it would save me tons of $$ on preggo tests!!

 

[Coconuts]

I think DHime on another thread suggested a 'TTC wrist watch' while back that would beep once for ovulation and beep twice at conception. I'll take it a step further and add three beeps for implantation and 4 beeps for 'an HPT will now show two big fat lines'.
Not sure if I'd like a 'eeeeeeeeeerp' buzzer to let me know if any of those things didn't happen or not. I'd hate to be like 2DPO and hear the buzzer go off for 'failed to conceive' and have to wait the rest of my LP for AF before the cycle starts again. Hm, is ignorance bliss?