Things came to a head tonight...

[bev309]

Glad it went well for you hun, it must have been really hard for you to hear him cry for that long but he'll also benefit from having a better nights sleep. i'm also considering doing this when my lo is 6 months if his sleeping habits dont get better, was Jack waking up for night feeds?

Yes, he was waking during the night & would only go back to sleep after a bottle. He is eating enough during the day (3 meals plus 4 bottles), so he doesn't need the bottle, I think it is just habit.

 

[Lucy&Pard]

oh wow I was tempted to do this last night but Leo goes so red and sweats when he cries I get too worried. How long did he cry for?

 

[KarenLV]

Good luck!Hope things get better soon.

 

[Wobbles]

An hour of constant screaming

Sorry to be blunt I agree with controlled crying but not an hour!

It wasnt an hour solid - I meant an hour from the time we started to when he went to sleep - I went into him every 5 mins then 10 mins then 15 mins max - I would never leave him scream for an hour solid & am offended that you think that I would!!!!

Sorry just re-read my post & I didn't make that point clear - I put constant screaming whereas I meant crying for an hour but with me going into him in between. In the end he went off to sleep quietly after I had been in to see him. Sorry to keep re-posting, but I am upset that people think that I would leave him crying for an hour solid where all I have ever done is pick him straight up as soon as he cries, rock him to sleep every night since he has been born, hold him for hours on end & attend to his every need. I need to do this as he is getting big & heavy, he fights his sleep, wriggles to try to get out of my arms & my back cannot take it any more, he also needs to sleep in something other than his bouncy chair for the sake of HIS back too, & if this is the only thing that works then so be it.

Ah well as you seen it yourself I don't need to explain why I was did sound wrong and you meant a whole constant hour.

Try not picking him up just showing your there, holding his hand, etc?

Bouncer chair: Have you seen the bean bags you can get with the same kind of strap? not sure what age they are up to but if this helps Caitlins been on a beanbag for a couple of months now on her day naps.

What is he sleeping in at night?

 

[bev309]

oh wow I was tempted to do this last night but Leo goes so red and sweats when he cries I get too worried. How long did he cry for?

He cried for a fair while - it was really hard, like I have re-iterated in previous posts, I left him in the cot for 2 mins before I went back, then 5, then 10, then 15 at which point he fell asleep & was the longest I left him - all in all it took an hour from when he first went to bed until he fell asleep including the time I spent in the room with him. TBH I wouldn't have tried it at the age your baby is at the moment, & would rather not do it at all, but as I said, he fights & struggles to get out of my arms with me rocking him to sleep but rocking was the only way he would go off before I tried this method.

Ah well as you seen it yourself I don't need to explain why I was did sound wrong and you meant a whole constant hour.

No, no need as I can see how it would be mis-interpreted, & I apologise for my reply - it is just that I feel bad enough doing it this way as it is without people thinking I am a monster!!!

Try not picking him up just showing your there, holding his hand, etc?

Tried it, & it doesn't wash with him at all unfortunately

Bouncer chair: Have you seen the bean bags you can get with the same kind of strap? not sure what age they are up to but if this helps Caitlins been on a beanbag for a couple of months now on her day naps.

That is interesting to know - will look into getting a beanbag, sounds a good idea

He is sleeping in a cot at night.

 

[Wobbles]

She loves the beanbag - it was a random buy and I'm glad I did

Cot - Do you think he has too much room in there? Maybe that wakens him? You can buy these things that reduces cot size (so they aren't all over place ahve more room than needed) - could try find one online if you think its a possibility?

Didn't mean to upset or offend you in any way btw I don't turn my nose up at all at controlled crying and sometimes Mum needs to leave baby for 5 to collect herself definately I just thought yikes and maybe read it the wrong way myself.

 

[cupcake]

I'm not trying to start a war here ,but some of you moms don't know whats its like to have a baby who never lets you put him down anywhere to sleep. That wakes up the minute you put them down and you dont ever have time to yourself. You are holding your baby 24 hours a day, in the day to take naps and at night sleeping on you in your bed. It is exhausting, I have to hold peeing all night long just not to wake him. I hardly ever get 1 min with DH. I agree just closing the door and letting baby scream for ages isnt good, but going in and reassuring him, til he falls asleep is not the same as closing the door. We who want ,or are using the CIO method dont really have any choice, our babies are running our lives, its not like we want them to cry, it breaks our hearts. People tell us try this try that, weve tried it all, car seats, bouncies, strollers, your t-shirt, lullabies, baths, books, paccis, swings, blankies, hot water bottles, the list is endless. We love our babies and are good moms, why should we feel like we are failing them by trying to teach them to go to sleep?
well done bev309 wish i was as strong as you!

 

[Wobbles]

Not sure anyone would disagree cupcake - I am a bit baffled by your reply though because the only thing I personally said was an hour CONSTANT was too much and OP said herself it did sound wrong and worded it wrong and NOT what she did and also no arguement was coming of it - suggestions are not a negative thing either I don't see people making those a bad thing as it sounds your saying it is?

I think everyone uses the controlled method somehow so that why I said I was not against it never have been never will be not even against Mum needing to leave baby for 5 to clear head.

I won't change my mind that an hour constant is too much and thats all I personally questioned & in an adult fashion it continued to be discussed and realised 1. post wasn't worded right 2. post was therefore read wrong.

 

[Wobbles]

Glad it went well for you hun, it must have been really hard for you to hear him cry for that long but he'll also benefit from having a better nights sleep. i'm also considering doing this when my lo is 6 months if his sleeping habits dont get better, was Jack waking up for night feeds?

Yes, he was waking during the night & would only go back to sleep after a bottle. He is eating enough during the day (3 meals plus 4 bottles), so he doesn't need the bottle, I think it is just habit.

BTW does he hold his own bottle/beaker?

Maybe a bottle/beaker of water incase hes thirsty? That said we did this with Caitlin and first night we thought oh it must have been but after that it wasn't a case of thirsty as she wasn't touching it. But worth a try leaving one if he does hold on (& you haven't already tried)?

Also reading original post again - cot mobiles/themes what about a steady night light one that isn't shaped & or moving lights?

We have had restless moments too - Not sure any parent hasn't so I hope suggestions are not a bad thing to offer?

 

[cupcake]

wobbs, took a while to think about my reply:
Of course all suggestions are great, i wasn't trying to imply I didnt want advice. I guess I was just feeling like people are negative about crying it out and it makes me feel so guilty about it. I understand what you were saying that closing the door on the baby and not going to him/her for an hour is not fair and I agree with you.
I actually wrote my reply before looking at your next post ( its wasnt up yet)

So basically all I was trying to say is that I just feel sometimes others don't understand how hard it is for us who have babies that are attached to us constantly.
Sorry if I came across as negative or aggressive - def wasn't intended.

 

[Wobbles]

Im not negative against it hun just an hour constant which is what I first read (misread) is a lil much for baby so young is all - imagine the stress? Dunno about anyone else but when I'm upset I can get in a mess when noones there lol

Parenting lark is naff if its not one its another thing ....oh 18 years they say?

 

[bev309]

He doesn't hold his own bottle, so unable to try that
Nightlight may be worth looking into, although the landing light Is right outside the door, it gets left on & there is a glass window above the door that lets the light through, so it is quite light in there already, I switch the bathroom light on & turn the landing off if I want it a bit darker

 

[bex]

Its horrible hearing them cry isn't it, i know how you feel as we had to do the same with our son Kian.
We could only get him to go to sleep by rocking him in his car seat but by 7 months he was getting too big for it so we started putting him in his cot. He cried and cried but after doing it for almost a week he started getting himself to sleep.

He's 3 1/2 now and is a great sleeper and only comes in with us in the morning.

Keep at it hun, its hard but will be worth it.

 

[bev309]

Well tonight wasn't AS bad - total time from being put into cot to going to sleep was 20 mins & I went into him three times during that. He is in a deep deep sleep again, just have to see if he sleeps through again now or whether that was a fluke - don't really mind, but would be a bonus!!

 

[bisbis]

Yes, he was waking during the night & would only go back to sleep after a bottle. He is eating enough during the day (3 meals plus 4 bottles), so he doesn't need the bottle, I think it is just habit.[/QUOTE]

Thanks...hope he sleeps through tonight again, i'm keeping my fingers crossed for you.

 

[Wobbles]

Well tonight wasn't AS bad - total time from being put into cot to going to sleep was 20 mins & I went into him three times during that. He is in a deep deep sleep again, just have to see if he sleeps through again now or whether that was a fluke - don't really mind, but would be a bonus!!

Has he ever slept through? Or whats the longest hes slept through?

 

[Linzi]

Pleased it's going ok. We're trying controlled crying with Seth. At first I could manage to give 5, 10 then 15 mins but now I can barely manage 5, I absolutely HATE it but it seems to be working.

My downfall is when he wakes in the night I dont like leaving him to cry because Matt has to get up at 5 for work, and also Seth sleeps on me through the day (but I enjoy cuddling with him through the day too much to stop that).

Hope you start getting better nights sleep

xxx

 

[bev309]

Has he ever slept through? Or whats the longest hes slept through?

The only times he has slept through properly have been when he has slept in his chair or when we went camping (all that fresh air worked wonders!!) He has had a few nights in the cot where he has had a couple of little wakes in the night where he needed a little rock & he went back, but not many. It's not the sleeping through that bothers me though (although it's great if he does!), it's the fact that he just won't settle down for a sleep - he fights his sleep constantly - he will cry & cry until I rock him standing up - sitting down won't do - then he will try to break free of my arms until he gives in - all this time I am humming little donkey which he seems to like He finally goes off, so I wait min 20 mins with him in my arms for him to go into deep sleep (which is how long some Dr said it takes) then I take him up to bed & the second his head hits the mattress he is waving his arms crying (have tried wrapping in blanket to ease transition, warming the mattress etc). He would go down upstairs in his bouncy chair, but would wake after an hour or so, but he can't sleep in there all of the time anyway.

 

[bev309]

Pleased it's going ok. We're trying controlled crying with Seth. At first I could manage to give 5, 10 then 15 mins but now I can barely manage 5, I absolutely HATE it but it seems to be working.

My downfall is when he wakes in the night I dont like leaving him to cry because Matt has to get up at 5 for work, and also Seth sleeps on me through the day (but I enjoy cuddling with him through the day too much to stop that).

Hope you start getting better nights sleep

xxx

Thanks
Thats just it - I hate it too, but I feel I have no other option - I won't let him CIO for naps, I will wait until he is going to sleep on his own without a big fuss before I try putting him into his cot for those too - I can't / won't leave him cry if he wakes in the night. I will have to rock him or give him a bottle if he needs one - as I said though it's getting him used to falling asleep unaided in the cot that I am trying to work towards, sleeping through will come when he is ready

 

[Wobbles]

Have you ever tried putting a top of yours beside him instead of a blankie? I only think of this because SC did it once and she nodded off on the floor lol

Does he fart alot? hold his legs up alot? - sorry if running over things you've tried!

What about trying gripe water after his feeds as a 'by chance' may help ...never know?

Heres that divider I was onabout earlier - if you think hes too much space around him and is fidgeting too much < could be what wakes/unsettles him?
https://www.mothercare.com/Safababy-sleeper/dp/B000K9K7F4