Think I'm gonna have to give up BF :(

Discussion in 'Breastfeeding' started by bubbles82, Oct 11, 2013.

  1. bubbles82

    bubbles82 Well-Known Member

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    My little girl is almost 4 weeks old, and I had my target set in my mind to BF her until at least 3 months. I've found it quite hard but was proud I battled through and things seemed to be bearable. I was intending to have nothing other than breast for the first six weeks, but was advised by different midwives to offer a dummy for various reasons, and that it was ok after two weeks to introduce a bottle a day for my DH to give an expressed feed so I could catch up on sleep.

    Over the last few days baby has been fussing at the breast, she goes on for a few minutes then starts pulling away and crying. The other day we battled through it and she kept going for over an hour, but didnt seem satisfied at all and cried as if she was still hungry. I thought I'd top her up with a bit of formula but she gulped down a whole 3 or 4oz so it was as if she'd got nothing from the breastfeed at all. I've been trying to pump to keep on top of the messed up feeds or bottle feeds, but I just can't find the time to keep up with it all, from what I've read she probably has bottle confusion and has become lazy with latching to breastfeed. She doesn't open her mouth wide enough anymore, I try over and over again to relatch her but I just end up sore and she ends up crying. I'm annoyed if this is the case as I was advised by midwives it was ok when I was going to avoid any bottles etc for fear of this happening.

    Just wondering if anyone has managed to get their LO back to beast feeding after something like this? I'm gutted to maybe have to give up so soon but finding it so stressful watching her fuss and cry when I try breastfeed, and keep having to give up and give her a bottle which is probably not helping things at all but I don't know what else to do when she's hungry and can't seem to feed from me.
     
  2. Celesse

    Celesse Well-Known Member

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    A baby will always take from a bottle after breastfeeding because of the different ways they work.

    If she's fussing at the breast and doesn't seem satisfied she needs to go back to the breast. She's trying to increase your supply. If you give her formula rather than putting her back at the breast then your supply won't increase and she will remain fussy. You might have a few days at a time where she will want to feed and feed and feed and seem really unsettled. This is a growth spurt, its normal. She needs more milk than she did a few days ago cos she's getting bigger and she needs to feed and feed and feed to increase your supply.

    If you want to carry on breastfeeding just stop giving bottles, set yourself up at the TV with plenty of drinks and feed like crazy. She'll soon catch your supply back up to where it was and then more. And put the bottle and formula away.
     
  3. bubbles82

    bubbles82 Well-Known Member

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    I don't feel like she's getting anything from me though, if she's just fussing and not latching on properly for an hour or two at a time, then screaming with hunger when I stop, I can't keep on like that in the hope it might just sort itself out
     
  4. TheNewMrsB

    TheNewMrsB Harry's Mummy

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    My little guy can do bottle, breast and dummy - had to do bottle and breast to get him out of hospital so he does have a lazy bottle latch but also a great breast latch. If he does his lazy latch I take him off and we start again not letting him on until he has a nice big open mouth. If his is being really stubborn I will just use ny finger to roll his bottom lip out.

    As said try and reduce your bottles for now or get some teats which have a wider base so she can have a nice wide latch even when she is on the bottle :)
     
  5. bubbles82

    bubbles82 Well-Known Member

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    I appreciate the advice but really just don't understand how I can just put away all bottles etc when it really feels like I'm getting nowhere trying to breastfeed at the moment. I can sit for up to two hours with LO just fussing for the entire time and getting more and more upset, when she's fussing for so long she's obviously not feeding at all and I can't just go on like that with her not feeding at all. I've tried relatching her over and over but can't seem to get her to take more than just the tip of the nipple in her mouth, the more I try the more upset we're both getting and at the end of it all she's still hungry
     
  6. Piper84

    Piper84 Well-Known Member

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    This may sound obvious, but could it be wind? DS did exactly this and I thought he wasn't getting anything, because he was screaming, pulling away from the breast etc. as if he was hungry. It turned out he just needed a LOT of burping - more than normal. The pain babies get from wind often feels like hunger for them, as it feels like there's an empty space. As babies also feel pain when they're hungry, the effect can be the same.
     
  7. embeth

    embeth Mum to 4 perfect children

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    Could be wind,Jacob does this whenever he has wind I just stop feeding and get rid of the wind and he goes in fine. Have you been to a breastfeeding clinic?? Sorry of uv already said only read quickly but if not try one there will be someone there to watch you feed and help with her latch and maybe spot any other issues. Worth a try could make things much easier. Goodluck xx
     
  8. Expecting1

    Expecting1 Well-Known Member

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    I read before but didn't have any advice until you said she's only taking the tip of the nipple.... sometimes Tanner did that if he was really tired so I sort of pinched my breast so his lazy mouth effort would end up taking much more into his mouth.... also have you tried sheilds? I used them for a few days (I stopped because I found them annoying) but they turned his lazy latch into a perfect suction....
    Maybe your girl is just playing little mouth? My thought with the fussing is - She's thinking she's good with just the tip, then nothing comes out she gets upset?
    I hope that's helpful :)
    He had a bottle, boob and dummy from day 1 and now he's exclusively boob because I simply can't be bothered expressing lol.
     
  9. noon_child

    noon_child Well-Known Member

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    This sounds horribly familiar...by which I mean it is both exactly what a lot of babies do AND the most stressfull thing I ever went through.

    3 weeks is classic growth spurt timing and even though they are hungry, they just pull off constantly with frustration. This is agonising if you aren't getting a great latch every time. Nipple confusion could be affecting her latch as the advice about it varies from midwife to midwife. Could you try syringe feeding her a small amount to calm her down rather than use a bottle, then put her back to the breast when she's calmer. During growth spurts once they are too hungry it can be a nightmare to get them to latch - however I'd say that night feeds are easier than day feeds during growth spurts so I'd say try never offering the dummy to settle her at night, always breastfeed as the milk supply is stronger and if she gets big feeds at night she'll be less fussy in the day.

    I TOTALLY second the wind suggestion from the others too. 3 weeks was when wind hit my LO big time and I had to use colic drops to get it to come up.
     
  10. bubbles82

    bubbles82 Well-Known Member

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    She does have wind issues, we were advised to use infacol which didn't seem to help, and just switched to dentinox which seems better. I don't think it's the wind with the breastfeeding problems though, as she starts the fussing as soon as the feed starts as if it is a direct problem with the breast, she seems hungry and not windy, but then starts crying and pushing the breast away after a minute or two. I've tried pinching the nipple and pushing more into her mouth but it doesn't seem to help. I was using nipple shields for a while before we had these issues as I had bad cracked nipples, but then I was told I shouldn't be using them long term as they stop LO getting as much milk out. It's so hard to know what to do for the best sometimes!
     
  11. Expecting1

    Expecting1 Well-Known Member

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    Oh I'm sorry my suggestion didn't help :sad1: I hope you find what's happening! I wish I could be more help :hugs:
     
  12. sarahh

    sarahh Well-Known Member

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  13. Biotechick829

    Biotechick829 Well-Known Member

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    Could be a combination of gas and growth spurt. When you mentioned she pulls away after latching and gets really fussy and frustrated I immediately thought of gas. It took awhile for me to realize it with Viv, but it was only when she was really hungry, trying to nurse, then pull of crying, latch, pull off, cry that I realized it was because she was gassy as well as hungry. Walking around with her in the colic hold for 5-10 min then trying to nurse her again always helped.

    You're in the midst of it now - around 3 weeks I had a breakdown and just started crying uncontrollably because of the stress of BF'ing. Growth spurts suck but it will get easier. Try and stick with it if you can and know that if she is suckling she is getting something. Maybe you could also try and pump the other breast while she's nursing to get both stimulated?
     
  14. noon_child

    noon_child Well-Known Member

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    Also contact a lactation consultant (NCT or LLL) as they are so much better than midwives - they have more time and more expertise.
     
  15. calliebaby

    calliebaby Well-Known Member

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    I used a nipple shield with my son for 8 months and he grew fine and my milk supply was good. I don't see the harm in trying it.
     
  16. mcsmyth1

    mcsmyth1 Well-Known Member

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    You can do this- youre doing great!

    Stop the bottles, she needs the time at the breast to increase your supply- the more time at the breast, the bigger the supply. It seems like it will last forever and that LO is CONSTANTLY ATTACHED TO YOU, but it does and will get sooooo much easier!

    My LO cluster feeds most evenings, and during a growth spurt does the whole pull off/seems starved/cries/wants back on again for hours on end, but when you come out the other side of the growth spurt youll give yourself a pat on the back for simply not losing your mind (this is how i felt).

    Definitely have a look on the kellymom site for some info on cluster feeding, growth spurts and supply. Apparently it takes 24-48 hours for supply to be met after the demand, i.e. can take a day or two for your boobs to produce the amount of milk baby has demanded (all that constant nursing pays off).

    Stick at it, its so worth it :hugs:
     
  17. Kanichen34

    Kanichen34 Well-Known Member

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    My little one is 10 days old and has Colic. I've found we have to wind her before we start feeding, give infacol, feed, then wind after. And if she's really fraught and frantic during the feed my husband takes her (so she can't smell milk) and winds her again. It's hard work but she's feeding alot better now. Definitely recommend a breast feeding clinic - I'm off to one this afternoon, they're really helpful.
     
  18. jonajoh2

    jonajoh2 New Member

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    This is a growth spurt, its normal.
     
  19. hopefulfor1st

    hopefulfor1st Mummy to Jace & NTNP #2

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    I only quickly read your first few posts but it sounds like you've already decided what to do.
    I fought with myself over the same dilemma and now that he's 9 months old, healthy, growing and loving his formula I don't think twice about what I did. His breast refusal started after a bad case of bronchiolitis I cried for days not wanting to make the switch completely but now it makes no difference. He is no different than a breastfed baby and he's happy as, and now that he holds his own bottle I get alot done real fast while he's having a bottle or I can hand it to him in pram while we are walking around shops.
     
  20. cat lover

    cat lover Mummy to 2 girls

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    I would go to a bf support group. but if that doesnt help, tbh i would ff. afaic baby has to eat. this is the most important thing by far. at that age, fussing for two hours and getting nothing cannot be good. its not worth starving the baby for the sake of bf imo. i combifed from a month due to poor weight gain, lo was so skinny and i wanted her to thrive xx
     

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