Thinking about adopting.

[missk1989]

My DH and I have a 2yr old. He was a bit of a miracle as we were told 6 weeks before our BFP that we would be unable to conceive without IVF.
We have been trying for #2 for 12 months and we already know our chances are slim to none. We would not be eligible for IVF on NHS due to having a child so went to a conference at a private clinic yesterday. On the way there I asked if DH would consider egg donation to reduce the cost and to help someone else and said no, but he would be up for adoption. Well, all I could think about during the conference was adoption!
We are going to an information evening but I am so nervous of the idea. What will people think, especially with having a child already. Will we bond the same? We would only be elligible for a child younger than our own so a baby which is fine but I worry how to settle a child you have not had since birth into an already made family. I have so many worries but then, adoption/fostering is something I have wanted to do for years but did not think that DH would consider, so I am pleased about it too.
Did anyone else feel like this? Has anyone adopted a child after carrying their own?

 

[Oldermummy78]

I would love to adopt in a few years time if We don't have another of our own, even if we do I would still love to when the youngest was at school
I think it's a wonderful idea and don't worry about the bonding, once you get that baby/child you will know they are yours , and only you can love them as they have no one else, they become yours

Good luck either way Hun, I know adoption is a lengthy process but one most deffinatly worthy

X

 

[Axl2]

Hi, I think you are worried over nothing. My husband and I are starting the adoption process. I think its a great thing!! We don't have any kids and was told that only way of getting pregnant was through IVF. IVF scares me so we have moved onto adoption. Good luck in the information session!!

 

[TTC First]

I have never adopted however I have been fostering infants for several years now. I would not worry about the bonding. When we get babies they are easy to bond with as this is all they know. Unfortunately with the toddlers they can be so confused with everything that is going on and so neglected that they end up calling us mom and dad in the first and second day.

You could try fostering before you commit to adoption. I am not sure how it works where you are however we have a foster to adopt program in Canada. This means that they will give us kids that have a higher likelihood of not go home and if they do go for adoption they tend to look at you for adoption first.

Just remember that adoption is a very long and detailed process. It takes a lot of commitment and patience.

 

[TTCMrsT]

Missk1989 I am in a similar position, struggling to TTC and not eligible for IVF on the NHS and I am scared of spending a lot of money for it to fail where I could spend it on a child who desperately needs a loving home.
OH wasn't so convinced but is coming around to adoptiin but now I seem to be swaying more to fostering. My worry with adoption is the process of explaining that we aren't birth parents.
How are your thoughts on it after a few days?