Thinking about giving him up for adoption

[_Lexi_]

Im 29 weeks pregnant with a little boy. I've had a very stressful and complicated, high risk pregnancy and I'm 23. Fob left me, and now it's getting closer to him being here, I'm realising that I don't think I'll be able to cope. I was on the pill when I got pregnant so it wasn't planned. I do love him so much already, but I think he deserves a better life than being brought up on benefits, by a single mother. He deserves a family. Fob has said that he would have him, but he works full time. He's a manager, he starts early, finishes late, and is always away for conferences/meetings. Up until recently I've been really excited, but now I feel nothing and just cry at the thought of raising this child. I don't think I'm strong enough to do it on my own. I just don't know what to do. Fob would never forgive me, he has 3 children from 2 previous relationships, one of which he has no contact with, the other 2 his ex uses as a weapon as/when he's allowed to see them. Maybe it's just nerves, maybe it's prenatal depression, or maybe it really would be the best thing to do. I just don't know and my heads such a mess

 

[Fliss]

Sweetheart if ALL that is worrying you is the material stuff, honestly that doesn't matter. If you love him and are just worried that he won't have enough - you are his mummy, your love is all he needs.

If there are other reasons, then adoption is a wonderful gift, but don't make decisions now when your head is messed up but FOB has to realise that as primary care-giver this is down to you if you aren't in a relationship anymore

 

[booda]

Oh hun i really think the first thing you need to do is to talk to your GP or midwife about this, and maybe be screened for prenatal depression. I had feelings like this due to prenatal depression, times where I would look up how to give him up for adoption....eventually I agreed to treatment for the depression and eventually the dark cloud lifted, and I realised I was more capable than I originally thought, and now....my wee ones 4 months, it's not easy but Im so glad I got the depression treated when I did....

I wish i had more concrete advice for you but just know people here will support you emotionally whatever you decide to do, and good luck xx

 

[fairykate]

Hun, I would wait and see how you feel when he's born. I think you'll have one look at him and realise you could never give him up

You've been through such a rough time it's no wonder you're feeling like this - I can't imagine how you're coping!!

 

[parisa]

do u mind me asking how prenatal depression is treated?
I am seriousyl suffering....but they dont give anitdepressants out, do they???

 

[booda]

do u mind me asking how prenatal depression is treated?
I am seriousyl suffering....but they dont give anitdepressants out, do they???

Hi hun, I had prenatal depression and was prescribed sertraline (zoloft in US) which is perfectly safe for use in pregnancy, it's generally the no. 1 choice for pregnant and breastfeeding mothers....there are others that are safe but sertralines the most widely used one for mums because it's been studied so much and proven to be safe
hope this helps x

 

[mommy43]

i agree with all thats been said already just wanted to add i dont think it matters what situation u are in as it gets closer n more real most mums to be worry if they will cope n be able to do enough for their baby i know i did
also a relationship break down can take a long time to get over take your time u dont have to decide anything now talk to ur gp & midwife so u know u have taken the time too make sure whatever u decide is the right decision for u aand ur baby good luck

 

[xloulabellex]

Honey.. don't make a descision like this until you've met him.. I think deep down you DO want him.. it's just because it's not been an easy ride, you're doubting everything.

x x