Thinking about stopping

[mia_leacey]

This might turn into a bit of a long ramble but please bear with me!

So DS turns 20 months tomorrow and is down to one feed a day and I'm thinking I might stop offering booby feeds.

The reason why I'm considering this is that over the last few days he hasn't asked for his milk. When I've offered it he has accepted it more than willingly but I'm just wondering if him not asking is a sign that the time might be right to stop.

We went down to 3 feeds a day - am, mid pm and bedtime - when I went back to work when DS was 10 months. Then around 15 months or so he just started refusing his bedtime feed. I don't know if he got too tired or too full or what, he just didn't want to nurse, so I didn't push it and that feed got dropped. Around a month or so ago, at say 19 months ish, he stopped asking for his mid pm (hometime) milk, so that was that feed gone. And now for a few days he hasn't asked in the morning either.

It kind of feels the right time too. I'm so over crazy, insane, irregular periods from hell and also DS is really growing up, gaining independence and becoming a proper little boy. My aim was 2, but I've been getting a lot of stick for a while now from some colleagues and also my FIL too and I can't say that hasn't been really hard I even pretended we'd stopped the other day when my colleague started having another go.

But. Stopping feeding him? Giving him his last ever feed? Giving in to the doubters? It breaks my heart and I well up just thinking about it. #feeling very conflicted

Words of wisdom?! xx

 

[missk1989]

no wisdom but i can sympathise. I have people constantly asking when i will stop and whilst part of me wants to stop very soon, another part of me knows that i wouldnt be in such a rush if people around me werent pointing out how weird it is to bf a child age 1+ (i know noone who bf past 2 months!)

 

[Tess.ie]

Hugs x x x you have done wonderfully well to get as far as you have, especially when people are less than supportive. I can imagine that weaning is a very bittersweet time, I'm just starting to think about when might be the time for us.

How about a compromise, don't stop but also don't offer. Could that work for you? At least if your lo did stop you would know it was their own choice and the right time for them to stop. That way you're not giving in to anyone, and its not short changing yourself or your lo if its not quite 2 years that you bf for, its being baby led

(hope that makes sense, I'm on my phone! X)

 

[schmetterling]

Hugs x x x you have done wonderfully well to get as far as you have, especially when people are less than supportive. I can imagine that weaning is a very bittersweet time, I'm just starting to think about when might be the time for us.

How about a compromise, don't stop but also don't offer. Could that work for you? At least if your lo did stop you would know it was their own choice and the right time for them to stop. That way you're not giving in to anyone, and its not short changing yourself or your lo if its not quite 2 years that you bf for, its being baby led

(hope that makes sense, I'm on my phone! X)

I agree with this suggestion My daughter is 15 months old and still nurses a lot but it breaks my heart thinking about the day she weans. But if you don't offer, don't refuse, then you won't at the time know which one is the last feed and I think it will be easiest for you both. Whatever you decide, CONGRATULATIONS on doing such a wonderful job!!!

 

[mia_leacey]

Thanks. Despite finding the lack of support from some quarters difficult (not close family, eg my parents or DH who are massively behind me) I wouldn't base my decision on this. It probably has influenced me subconsciously but I'm trying really hard not to let it!

It was more that if he'd stopped asking it might be a good time to stop offering. So I've not offered this morning and he's not asked. Just sitting here having a little sob!

 

[BunnyN]

If you dont want to stop I dont think you need to, as long as he still accepts feeding will only do him good. You are not being selfish or anything to carry on as long as it's still a nice thing for you both. But if he doesnt mind stopping and you dont mind either it sounds like a good time. Its natural to feel a bit sad about stopping though. Hugs. And well done for being successful at BFing!

 

[capegirl7]

Hun I am in the exact same position as you, except I am 9 weeks pregnant. My daughter was on one feed a day (mornings from 13 months until now 15.5 months). She never asks for it I just offer when she wakes up. Well I felt it might be the right time to stop and give her cows milk because I don't think I can handle tandem feeding and I don't want dd to get jealous once this baby comes. So I have not fed her since Sunday morning at 6am. It is now Tuesday at 11:30. I cried and it was sad but it just feels right. My boobs are killing me though and I'm praying I don't get an infection

 

[mia_leacey]

Thank you capegirl. I don't know what I would do if I was pg. Part of the reason for wanting to stop was to be ready if I ever had a future pregnancy too as I'm also not sure I could handle tandem feeding. I have sobbed and sobbed.

But what do you know. After 3 days my lb asked for milk this am! So I don't know where I am xx