Those god damn pregnancy hormones...

[Wish85]

I feel so silly for even writing this but I also know I'm not the first or last pregnant lady to be experiencing these feelings.

It's all just hit me that in June we will no longer be the family unit of 3 I'm so used to. Don't get me wrong, I am excited and I already love this baby so much (that goes without saying) but I guess it's fear of the unknown and I suddenly have all these questions surging through my brain.

How will my DS cope?
How will I cope?
Will I love this baby the same way as DS?
Will I have the same bond with this baby?
I feel bad that my son will have to share me when he has had me all to himself for the past 3.5yrs..4yrs by the time baby arrives.

This is honestly the first time I have even thought these things and I'm sure it's been brought on by the fact I just gave 2 weeks notice to his day care which I'm really sad about. DS attends the day care at my work which is an hour drive from home so when I'm on maternity leave I can't drive all that way every day with a new born so I am putting him in care closer to home. It's not by choice, that's just the logistics of it but it really hit home that so much is going to change.

Anyway, just getting my feelings out there as I don't bottle things up. Thanks for reading if you've got this far!

 

[Xpecta]

I've heard of lots of people going through this. It's a very normal feeling. To be fair, your son is young enough that he won't remember (in the long run) being an only child. I only say this from experience because I'm 4 years older than my younger brother and I don't remember life without him

But he may surprise you!! When my son was 4, my daughter was born and he fell in love with her more than I imagined. He introduced her to everyone as "His sweetie" he adored her. Still does.

It's hard to wrap your mind around, but one day you'll look back and go "Wow! Remember when there was only one child in the house?"

As for loving them, you will love them as much as each other but in different ways if that makes sense.

I hope you feel better soon!!

 

[Wish85]

Thank you, that has really put things back in perspective!

Now that you've mentioned it, how did you find the 4 yr age gap? My DS will be 4 a couple of weeks after bub is born?

 

[Mum2BKW]

We'll also have a 4 year age gap, I think it'll work really well as Scarlett is old enough to understand that the baby has needs and she's so excited about helping me when the baby arrives. I don't think of it as 'how will she cope having to share mummy and daddy' but more of 'how wonderful it will be when she has a sibling to love as well as mummy and daddy' xx

 

[Wish85]

We'll also have a 4 year age gap, I think it'll work really well as Scarlett is old enough to understand that the baby has needs and she's so excited about helping me when the baby arrives. I don't think of it as 'how will she cope having to share mummy and daddy' but more of 'how wonderful it will be when she has a sibling to love as well as mummy and daddy' xx

I do think there are more positives to negatives for the age gap. As you said, they comprehend WHY the baby needs the attention and yes, they can feel included because they can actually help. We are just such a close, tight knit little unit. My son is super cuddly, affectionate and needs to be physically close to us at all times. He makes me and OH hug every day when we get home and sit next to each other if we're in the same room LOL..my son tells me everyday that he loves me very much and I am beautiful. Such a caring little soul. Hopefully he shows the same love to his baby brother and doesn't see him as a threat to our little family..

 

[TTCfirstovr30]

Wish - That is the cutest thing ever! Your son saying I Love You every day when you get home and sitting together. I hope my son is as loving and caring.

I am expecting my first and am in the same boat as you, except this is my first. So....how is my life going to change once baby comes! So freaking out a little bit. I totally relate to you in regards to, "How can I love anything More that my son." I know this is silly but that is how I feel with my dog, I love my dog so much How can I love anything more than that?!

But I am sure everything will adjust and seem like it should have always been that way in the first place.

 

[Wish85]

Wish - That is the cutest thing ever! Your son saying I Love You every day when you get home and sitting together. I hope my son is as loving and caring.

I am expecting my first and am in the same boat as you, except this is my first. So....how is my life going to change once baby comes! So freaking out a little bit. I totally relate to you in regards to, "How can I love anything More that my son." I know this is silly but that is how I feel with my dog, I love my dog so much How can I love anything more than that?!

But I am sure everything will adjust and seem like it should have always been that way in the first place.

Thank you TTC and honestly you have no idea how much he makes my heart melt. Yesterday morning he came and woke me up and said 'Mum, you stay here'..I heard the front door open and thought 'omg he's going outside' so I got up and he came back in with a flower for me from the garden and said 'this is for you Mum'..What a little cutie he is!

Oh I totally understand why you would be thinking that about your dog. We all have people or animals we love with everything we have so we can't comprehend how we could love something more but you will. This is your creation. It is a part of you and your partner and to see that in the flesh is just overwhelmingly beautiful. I still look at my son sleeping sometimes and think there was once a time I didn't know him but I am so grateful I do now. I always say, children are love made tangible

 

[TTCfirstovr30]

You're going to make me cry and I am sitting in my cubical at work! I think I know how I will feel when the little one comes, but I just have no idea.

Your son sounds like the ultimate gentleman. I hope you are feeling better.

 

[Wish85]

You're going to make me cry and I am sitting in my cubical at work! I think I know how I will feel when the little one comes, but I just have no idea.

Your son sounds like the ultimate gentleman. I hope you are feeling better.

Aw don't cry. Although I was yesterday..hormones all over the place. I feel much better, thank you! You will be a great mama. You got this!

I really appreciate you saying he sounds like the ultimate gentleman as that has been my goal since the day he was born. To raise him as someone's future husband and dad and I want that lady to feel lucky every day of her life. I get to do it all over again in June. I feel it's my karmic lesson to teach boys how to be men because the world needs more of them!

 

[Mrs Dragonfly]

I legit cry every time I think of how my DD's life is going to change with another baby. She's our baby girl and such a lover. I always tell her how she's my big helper when we're doing laundry or picking up books, putting away groceries. I hope that by having her be my helper with baby she'll never feel left out.

Her and our cat lay in my lap at the same time, which is running out of room with my growing belly. I can't wait until I'm holding both my babies together, wrapped up in love.

Blah now I'm crying again!

 

[Wish85]

I legit cry every time I think of how my DD's life is going to change with another baby. She's our baby girl and such a lover. I always tell her how she's my big helper when we're doing laundry or picking up books, putting away groceries. I hope that by having her be my helper with baby she'll never feel left out.

Her and our cat lay in my lap at the same time, which is running out of room with my growing belly. I can't wait until I'm holding both my babies together, wrapped up in love.

Blah now I'm crying again!

LOL it doesn't take much to make us pregnant ladies cry, does it? I'm sure 3 months after we give birth we won't be able to imagine our lives any different and eventually we'll forget what it was like to only have the 1 child. Just like I forget what it was like to have no children. I often think, what did I used to do with all my time? LOL

 

[Mrs Dragonfly]

I think that all the time! How on earth did I ever feel busy before DD? I don't feel baby kick too often yet, just now and then but it never fails when I'm putting DD to bed and she's nursing to sleep baby starts to kick I like to imagine them bonding.

 

[Wish85]

Aw that's beautiful!

 

[kirstybumx3]

Crying so hard right now! I'm having these thoughts so much. I watch Rio playing and just feel so sad that my whole attention won't be on him anymore. What if he feels like I don't love him as much because I'll be able to spend less him with just him? I don't want him to feel like he has to share his mummy.
At the same time he's very excited about there being a baby, but will he like the reality of it when it comes to it?
This baby is very much wanted and will be loved by everyone, I am so excited for Rio to have a sibling but all of those worries are in my mind too. Will I love this baby as much, will I actually cope with two children. Etc etc.
I just think if it was really that bad women wouldn't have a 3rd 4th and so on after their second if it affected their first as we think it will.
My friend has a 6 week old and a 2 year old and she's assured me she felt exactly the same but you love both equally and find time for both siblings. Her daughter has taken to her baby brother brilliantly so far too. I'm hoping that because Rio is a bit older he will understand when I tell him my reasons behind not being able to play all the time for example, and hopefully allowing him to get involved and help will be beneficial.
I've rambled I know, I hope it even makes sense!

 

[happyonisland]

You have a lot going through your mind and it’s all normal especially preparing for baby number 2. However, you are going to love baby number 2 just the same. Also, BS is going to love the baby as well and will be an awesome big brother. Now is the time to prepare him for big brotherhood such as helping shopping for new baby, decorating the room, etc.
You are a great mom and have a lot of love to give.
Congratulations! I wish you the best.

 

[Wish85]

Thank you for your responses ladies, we've all either been there done that or are going through the same thing.

It's very ironic because I get emailed those weekly pregnancy updates and I was 21 weeks yesterday so I read it and it said under 'emotional changes this week' and had a massive spiel about how you may be wondering how your new baby will fit into the family and how siblings will react etc (pretty much what we are all concerned about) but it said it's normal to feel this way and babies are very good at making their parents fall in love with them.

I thought it was ironic that I was right on cue with how I was feeling according to the pregnancy weeks

 

[Xpecta]

Thank you, that has really put things back in perspective!

Now that you've mentioned it, how did you find the 4 yr age gap? My DS will be 4 a couple of weeks after bub is born?

I'm glad I could help!! Honestly, I was super worried. I thought they would be too far apart, but they are literally best friends! They do everything together!!!

 

[Wish85]

Thank you, that has really put things back in perspective!

Now that you've mentioned it, how did you find the 4 yr age gap? My DS will be 4 a couple of weeks after bub is born?

I'm glad I could help!! Honestly, I was super worried. I thought they would be too far apart, but they are literally beat friends! They do everything together!!!

That is awesome! I hope my 2 littlies are the same. I expect there will be periods in their life where they drift (like when one is 18 and the other is 14) but I'm sure they'll come back together as adults and bond again. Thanks lovely.

 

[Natnee]

I had this thought 3 years ago, then I didn't ever find out. Now there will be a 7 year age gap, so I think I worry more as dd will have been used just us 3 for so long! She's super excited about being a big sister but I wonder how it will be in practise!

 

[Xpecta]

Thank you, that has really put things back in perspective!

Now that you've mentioned it, how did you find the 4 yr age gap? My DS will be 4 a couple of weeks after bub is born?

I'm glad I could help!! Honestly, I was super worried. I thought they would be too far apart, but they are literally beat friends! They do everything together!!!

That is awesome! I hope my 2 littlies are the same. I expect there will be periods in their life where they drift (like when one is 18 and the other is 14) but I'm sure they'll come back together as adults and bond again. Thanks lovely.

That was supposed to say best friends not beat friends Hahaha. They don't beat on each other at all.


I'm hoping that they don't drift too far, but it might happen. My kids spend all their time together because they're home schooled. Sometimes I know they need a bit of time apart, but they just love being together.