Those who co-slept/never sleep trained

[becstar]

Did your child start sleeping through and not waking for boob/bottle etc on thier own, or did you do something to encourage it?

Ilana slept through from 3 weeks to about 4.5 months. She used to be in a hammock but by about 4 months she wanted to stretch out more so we moved her to a cotbed next to our bed. We ended up taking the side off the cot as her night waking got more frequent and she was up more and more...

A few times when she was smaller I tried shhing and patting and all that malarky but it never worked with her, she'd get more and more upset the longer I did it and I couldn't bear to see or hear her so upset. I also tried not feeding her if she woke before a certain time, and then only feeding for a set time and reducing this gradually... but it went the same way, with her becoming distraught and I just couldn't continue.

I am a full time primary teacher of young kids and it is exhausting, so we decided that I would just continue to give her boob when she woke so I could get as much sleep as possible. For ages we've been saying 'we'll deal with it in the holidays' but now it is the holidays I can't face any kind of sleep training still - I just can't bear to hear her cry when I could be doing something about it.

She sometimes goes 7-4 without waking then has a feed and she's out again until 7am, other nights she's awake at 10, 12, 1, 3, 5, 6, 7!!! Normally she'll wake 2/3 times.

So I'd love to know if and when this changed for other co-sleepers and non-sleep trainers, and if they did just grow out of it or if you had to help them. My mum and all HVs and half the world seems to be telling me that she'll never give it up of her own accord and you have to be cruel to be kind etc etc but I just can't bear sleep training. My instinct is that she just isn't ready to sleep through yet but she will in the end... but then I get the doubts and all the HVs words whispering in my ears!!!

ETA I don't have a problem with others using sleep training/CC etc but it's just not for me.

 

[leighbaby]

Sebastian started sleeping through at about 11 months when his front teeth were all through. It coincided with him eating more food in the day and me offering both sides of boob before bed.

There are still nights when i do have to get up.

We havent done anything special to encourage it though as i'm of the opinion that he will do everything when he is ready.

 

[becstar]

Thanks Leigh (I just realised I haven't sent your prize yet, sorry - will do asap!!!)

Her final front tooth is coming through now and her teething necklace is in the post so fingers crossed... It's hard sometimes not to listen to all the sleep police out thre! And they always use guilt to make it worse... taking all that milk in the night will affect her eating habits... interrupted sleep isn't as good for them as solid blocks of it... she'll never sleep on her own..etc etc

 

[leighbaby]

I know - i was having this exact chat with my sil last night. She has a 4 month old and is getting grief from people.

I've felt that since about 6 months, Sebastian has had his best feeds through the night because he is less distracted, so to me they were important (despite what the sleep police say!!) Their reasons are pretty unfounded anyways!! Boobie juice is the best thing for them for a little while yet - i'd go so far as to say until they are 18-24months. They will eat more solids when they are ready to - BM is easily digested by now so won't fill them up for THAT long! and to a baby, sleep is sleep, thats why they have naps (thats what I thought anyway).

You've got to remember that even though these people are 'experts' they all having conflicting views on things. YOU are well educated yourself and capable of deciding what is best for you and your family. Don't let other people make you fell guilty for any of your choices. ((This is where i get on my soap box I'm arrogant about my education because I'm a scientist and often come away from the 'experts' wondering where their brains are!! and in my head I am ALWAYS right ))

ETA: no worries about the nappy - whenever is cool.

 

[Kiddo]

I could have written that post!! Harvey tends to have a series of naps through the night rather than one long sleep. I can't bear the thought of sleep training but everyone (including people I hardy know!) keeps telling me that we need to do CC to get him to sleep through. It's getting to me because OH is starting to believe them. I really can't stand the thought of leaving Harvey to cry for any length of time while I could be settling him either. We co-sleep after the first time he wakes so I get a bit more kip than I did when I was trying to settle him in his room each time he woke and I'm just hoping he'll grow out of it soon.

 

[rainyday]

I'm there at the moment too as my 4.5 mth son has stopped sleeping as much and is waking several times a night. The problem I have is that during the day he feeds every 1.5 to 2.5 hrs, so when he wakes at night it would make sense that he would then be hungry, bless him, so I can't bear the thought of not feeding him! So I've just bought a book off amazon called the no cry sleep solution. I'll see how we get on! Has anyone else tried this?

 

[Kaites]

Becstar- I could have written your post too At least it's somewhat comforting to see that there are a lot of us in the same boat

Rainyday- NCSS didn't really work out for us very well, but I have a tendency to return to old habits when the going gets tough- probably just a case of it not being a good fit for me though. I liked that it didn't use any CC at all- I hope it works for you!

 

[K_babybump]

Hi, I can really understand what you are going through. Jack has not been the best sleeper. he is now 15 months old and has never sleep through the night. He use to always sleep in his own cot, now however i am so sleep deprived he comes into out bed at around 1am. I have been to many places to help me "sleep train" him. they call it controlled comforting. It is pretty much letting him cry and checking on him every 5 - 10 minutes until they eventually fall asleep on their own. My little boy never gave up. He would scream the house down and everytime I would check on him it got worse. He bruised all his face from hitting his head on the cot and vomited all the time. I tried this method for 5 weeks striaght and it unfortunately never work for my little boy. All it did was send me crazy. i have just learnt to accept that he will sleep through when he is ready. He is also teething really badly and letting you baby cry themselves off to sleep while they are in pain did not feel right for me. Your baby doesn't know how to fall back asleep once she gets up in the middle of the night and she is crying for you to put her back to sleep. They keep getting up everytime they reach their light sleep cycle. I had jack getting up every 45 minutes at one stage. Thankfully now he gets up once or twice at night. It does get better but without the sleep training takes time. You have to be patient and the day will hopefully come soon.