Thought I was getting over GD...

[bubbles82]

I have always wanted to have a girl, would be happy with one of each eventually but hoped for a girl first so I know I'll have at least one. Convinced myself I'm expecting a boy, for various reasons, lack of morning sickness, DH's family full of boys etc, and I felt so guilty for even having any preference especially after a loss that I have tried so hard to forget about it and try be happy either way. I am hoping to stay team yellow, and sometimes wonder if I'd be better finding out and getting used to the idea sooner if it is a boy, but I just can't imagine actually being disappointed on the day he arrives if it is a boy, so I keep thinking it may be best to just wait til baby arrives.

When I went for my first scan a couple of weeks ago, I was so relieved to see a healthy baby and heartbeat that for the first time I felt like I don't mind either way if it's a boy or girl as long as it's ok, and I thought that would be the end of my GD.

However I was in Next today, and got myself all upset looking at the baby girl clothes, they seem to have so much nicer stuff for girls and I felt a bit angry that I'm so convinced I'm not having a girl and won't be buying any of that stuff.

Now I'm scared again that I'm actually going to feel disappointed if its a boy and I really don't want to, I feel so sorry for this baby already having me as a mum!

 

[onetwothreebp]

i would recommend finding out. if you're going to be disappointed, its best to do it while pregnant so you're able to bond properly with your baby

 

[_jellybean_]

I also recommend finding out. I'm so sorry you're having a hard time. I agree about the clothes. Sending you hugs.

 

[Eleanor ace]

Aww . I'm team yellow and hoping for a pink bundle too. I didn't find out with DS either and although I did have a (very secret) preference for a girl once he was born I truly didn't care. Hoping it will be the same this time (if LO is a boy).

 

[Willow87]

Same boat here! First baby.Wanting a girl but convinced myself its a boy since lack of morning sickness, nub looks a little boyish and hubby's family is mainly boys.

I'm not finding out. I am happy about it. I get to buy the things I need, stick to buying gender neutral clothes, decorate the nursery in what I want envisioning a lil boy or girl in it. I can't imagine feeling disappointed at birth if it's a boy. I will be too busy with a cute baby to get down about the gender.

Finding out would have probably caused me to not fully enjoy my pregnancy.

 

[Hope41more]

This is my 4th pregnancy. I had no preference with the first and had a girl. My then husband was so desperate for a boy with the second it got me really wanting a boy too, she had her legs crossed at the scan and i never found out and gave birth to my 2nd girl. I was so convinced i was having a boy and everyone said the same that i struggled when she was born and my ex husband took it sooo badly he left hospital fairly quickly. I had severe gender disappointment. I fell pregnant fairly quickly with my 3rd and found out at my 18wk scan it was another girl!!! I was devastated, it was my birthday and i was in such a state, ex husband then rang round all the abortion clinics (he was that adament he did not want her). I refused to do what he wanted and by the time she got here i loved her more than anything in the world.
I have been in both positions and can honestly say finding out at my scan was the best thing for me. I struggled to come to terms with having my 2nd girl for months and was sooo upset, i would rather find out at scan and feel those feelings when pregnant coz by the time she got here i loved her more than anything in the world and would not have swapped her for a boy. Mind me and my ex husband split up when she was 8wks old and i believe it was due to his gender disappointment.
My 3girls are will be 16,17 & 18 when this baby is born and i had a private gender scan at 16wks and i'm having a Boy Strange thing is before i got pregnant i wanted another girl!!! I struggled to conceive LTTC (long story tubal damage and told only way IVF) and when i found out about this miracle baby i really did not care about babys gender. I really thought it was a boy from the moment i found out i was pregnant and i'm over the moon I had the scan partly due to just needing to know and my worry that i may have a secret preference sub consciously due to my severe gender disappointment in the past. Maybe i really wanted a boy but was telling myself i wanted a girl!!! (Who knows)
Good luck in getting your little girl and i hope you make the right decision for you. xxx

 

[bubbles82]

Thanks for all the advice girls. I still love the idea of a surprise and hope I can keep that up.

Just found out a friend at work who's also pregnant just had her scan and is having a girl. She wanted a boy, shame you can't choose! I keep telling myself I know loads of little boys who are adorable and some pain in the backside little girls, so having a boy might not be so bad!

 

[BabyCleo]

me and and DF have 2 nephews, and they are the sweetest if you can i would find out to help ease your worries. huge hugs to you xx

 

[_jellybean_]

I have always wanted to have a girl, would be happy with one of each eventually but hoped for a girl first so I know I'll have at least one. Convinced myself I'm expecting a boy, for various reasons, lack of morning sickness, DH's family full of boys etc, and I felt so guilty for even having any preference especially after a loss that I have tried so hard to forget about it and try be happy either way. I am hoping to stay team yellow, and sometimes wonder if I'd be better finding out and getting used to the idea sooner if it is a boy, but I just can't imagine actually being disappointed on the day he arrives if it is a boy, so I keep thinking it may be best to just wait til baby arrives.

When I went for my first scan a couple of weeks ago, I was so relieved to see a healthy baby and heartbeat that for the first time I felt like I don't mind either way if it's a boy or girl as long as it's ok, and I thought that would be the end of my GD.

However I was in Next today, and got myself all upset looking at the baby girl clothes, they seem to have so much nicer stuff for girls and I felt a bit angry that I'm so convinced I'm not having a girl and won't be buying any of that stuff.

Now I'm scared again that I'm actually going to feel disappointed if its a boy and I really don't want to, I feel so sorry for this baby already having me as a mum!

I personally think it's better to find out so that you're used to the idea, but everyone is different, and I'm sure that it must be the most incredible surprise to hear boy or girl!

And boys are amazing hon. I have a little one year old, and he's just so sweet! He's cuddly, loving, playful, and hilarious! He dances too! It's great!

 

[frantastic20]

Hi there... Just wanted to say I could have written your post myself a year ago, right down to getting miserable in Next! And I'm in Yorkshire too

Like you, I really wanted a girl first just so I had one, plus I'm the eldest of three with 2 younger brothers, so it seemed right. Add to that pressure from my dad - he adores girls, I was always a daddy's girl, but my brother has managed to produce four grandsons for him. Deep down I knew I was having a boy, and was terribly disappointed. I did decide to have a gender scan, mainly to give my dad the chance to get over it before the baby arrived, and on 16th March sure enough the tech confirmed it was a boy (I can recommend Meet Your Baby in Leeds if you decide to go for it!). My dad actually sighed and went 'another grandson', and I was devastated. On the plus side hubby was thrilled. I also chatted to a work colleague due at the same time - she wanted a boy but was having a girl.

Anyway, the point of all this rambling is just don't worry! Your gut instinct that you won't care when they arrive is absolutely right! Once Henry was born I had little worries about practical things like 'how do I clean his bits?'... But hubby was quick to help on that side of things lol

I couldn't love my little boy more. He'll be six months old in 2 weeks and I honestly do look at him and think 'how could I have wanted a girl so badly?'. I even think now I wouldn't mind if I ended up with 2 boys. And my dad adores him - my mum always says it's different when your daughter has babies, they both feel more involved. (And even that comment doesn't bother me in terms of my future - I just made my mind up to be the best MIL ever lol).

I know some people do find their disappointment stays around, but I'm going on the fact that you sound pretty much exactly like I was a year ago! Don't even worry about the way you feel now, it'll be old news in a year's time!

 

[bubbles82]

Ah thanks chick that's good to hear! I think I change my mind daily if I'm worried about being disappointed or not, I didn't even think about gender when I had a scan at 9 weeks, I was just so relieved to see a healthy looking baby, and I'm hoping it will be the same next week at my 12 week scan. A girl I work with just had her 20 week scan and really wanted a boy, she was told she is having a girl and she said she was really shocked to start with, but seems to be used to the idea already and is looking forward to her girl now. I still like the idea of team yellow so hoping to be able to wait it out!