Thoughts on this....??

[MizzDeeDee]

You don't see it as a big deal, I do. I just stated my opinion is all. She will see me breastfeed the new baby, and know that it's how you feed a baby, but I don't feel comfortable with 4 year olds breastfeeding, that's all.

As I'm entitled to mine..

I am sorry you're not comfortable with it.. but that doesn't mean that OP's friend should be made to feel bad because someone else has a problem with something that doesn't involve her personally and is a very personal decision.

Besides, you didn't say you weren't comfortable, you were writing about how you would explain it to your daughter and I was responding to that.. you being uncomfortable about it is a different matter entirely.

 

[goddess25]

It makes me mad when you hear that comments are being made to this poor woman. I BF and I plan on doing it until she no longer wants me too, and the benefits of extended BF are great however I personally would not be comfortable BF a 4 year old outside because I think remarks and looks would make it difficult. I already get lots of looks for BF a 7 month old.

 

[MizzDeeDee]

It makes me mad when you hear that comments are being made to this poor woman. I BF and I plan on doing it until she no longer wants me too, and the benefits of extended BF are great however I personally would not be comfortable BF a 4 year old outside because I think remarks and looks would make it difficult. I already get lots of looks for BF a 7 month old.

I had this when I was feeding my 6 week old. My MIL, her sister, and her mother tried to banish me to the back bedroom because it made them uncomfortable... and I didn't move an inch....and I agree...some people and their inability to handle something that differs from what is in their own comfort zone makes extended breastfeeding difficult.

I feel very sorry for OP's friend. That old woman should have turned away if it bothered her so much.

 

[Blah11]

But ashley, thats you projecting kind of discriminatory views YOU have onto your innocent child. If she asks all you need to say is 'that boy is having a drink. You used to get yours like that/in a bottle and now you get it in a cup'. Children don't think anything is wrong unless their parent makes them feel that way.

 

[tiger]

i personally would not BF my child to that age, thats personal opinion, and i would think it a little strange at 4, only because i wouldnt give my son a bottle at 4 so why would a 4 yr old need to be BF ? also at 4, if the child was being breastfed it wouldnt be often at all really ? why could they not wait until they got home ?
i dont know to be honest
however... never in a million years would i say something as its true, how and what she feeds her child is none of my business .

 

[SackBoy]

And as for BF being sexual It's silly statements like that that give BF the stigma it's got.

I feel I need to clarify this and it was me that brought this up. The only reason I commented on this was because it was a statement made in a legimate breastfeeding book. The book is VERY pro breastfeeding and attachment parenting, and so it gave me no reason to doubt its credability. It does also seem that some comments since that it is actually more common that one thinks, (or cares to admit).

"or cares to admit"

I don't know if you meant that in the way I've read it, but to me, that line says a lot about your opinion.

No, totally mis read...I am not in the slighest being rude, or abnoxious, or anti breastfeeding. Hey I did it myself for a good few months! What I meant is because some people may not want to admit to feeling that way, because it may come across as 'weird', whereas its totally normal.

May I add, that I dont think its weird at all, neither is it my business whether people choose to extend breastfeeding or not, and neither did I want everyone jumping on the 'sexual' thing, it was a legitimate comment i read, which I have quoted and referenced, which could possibly lead to a theory that maybe defining the two feelin gs maybe not be as clearly defined.

I am not intending to make judgemental assumptions here, nor trying to offened anyone, just offering an alternative thought. Apologies if you read it that way..

I get you now. Thank you for explaining

Wow I cant remember posting that. Oh well. Anyway it's not sexual, it doesn't feel sexual. If it does I have to say you're a bit weird. I don't have much feeling in my breasts so the most I've felt is pain in the first few weeks and now I feel nothing much. The suction a baby has is too strong for it to feel sexual IMO.

Breastmilk does not all of a sudden lose it's nutrition because the child has turned 6 months/ 1 year etc. Maybe it's not for you but the majority of the people who are saying they wouldn't are FF not sure if that has something to do with it.

I'm not putting a time limit on how long I will breastfeed for, mainly because I said I'd never co sleep, I co sleep etc. Not because I want to keep him a baby far from it but I cant see much point in removing his source of comfort because we've got a messed up society. I hate to see him upset so I could never intentionally cause that upset.

 

[SackBoy]

There is nothing wrong with breastfeeding a baby but the point remains, children of 4 dont need to be breastfed for nutritional reasons. That is a fact.

Unfortunately that is not a fact. I can't even be bothered to explain in what circumstances a child will still need to be breastfed for nutritional reasons. It's so simple and common a reason I'm sure you know it.

 

[pinklightbulb]

At any age I would think BM would be more suited to a human than cow's milk.

 

[mummy2be...]

* update *
My friend is now attempting to stop Breastfeeding after these comments had her in tears for days she asked her mother her opinion, the reply she got from her mum wasn't exactly what she wanted to hear. Her mum told her she was selfish because it was more for her than her LO and that he is going to be very teased by his peers if she carries on with school being started etc

There's been so much interest in this I thought I'd keep you all updated.

 

[Natsku]

Your poor friend Thats terrible that an ignorant woman's comments and her own mother have pretty much forced her to stop breastfeeding

 

[pinklightbulb]

That is such a shame So sorry to hear that.

 

[MizzDeeDee]

* update *
My friend is now attempting to stop Breastfeeding after these comments had her in tears for days she asked her mother her opinion, the reply she got from her mum wasn't exactly what she wanted to hear. Her mum told her she was selfish because it was more for her than her LO and that he is going to be very teased by his peers if she carries on with school being started etc

There's been so much interest in this I thought I'd keep you all updated.

Awful.

 

[Blah11]

* update *
My friend is now attempting to stop Breastfeeding after these comments had her in tears for days she asked her mother her opinion, the reply she got from her mum wasn't exactly what she wanted to hear. Her mum told her she was selfish because it was more for her than her LO and that he is going to be very teased by his peers if she carries on with school being started etc

There's been so much interest in this I thought I'd keep you all updated.

now THAT is disgusting Your poor friend.

 

[freckleonear]

I think if she wants to bf her 4 year, so be it. I wouldn't personally do it, but everyone does what they feel is right.

However, in public, I have some concerns. Not that she should hide it away like a 'dirty secret', and not that I'm turning it into something 'sexual', but if my 3 year old daughter saw that in public, I would have hours of endless questions about it.

There are plenty of things that happen in public that I'm not keen for my 3 year old to see, but I can't impose my views on other people so I just have to deal with it. To be honest, I don't want my children to ever see a baby being bottlefed but I certainly don't think that parents shouldn't do that in public! And let's face it, there aren't that many 4 year olds breastfeeding so the chances of your daughter seeing it or even noticing it are pretty slim. I think the benefits for the child being breastfed far outweigh the "problem" of your daughter seeing it.

* update *
My friend is now attempting to stop Breastfeeding after these comments had her in tears for days she asked her mother her opinion, the reply she got from her mum wasn't exactly what she wanted to hear. Her mum told her she was selfish because it was more for her than her LO and that he is going to be very teased by his peers if she carries on with school being started etc

There's been so much interest in this I thought I'd keep you all updated.

That's such a shame. I've pm'ed you with a link to a forum where there are lots of mothers breastfeeding their 3-7 year olds in case she wants any support.

 

[LoraLoo]

Thats really sad about your friend

I know how she feels, I was bullied, yes BULLIED, by 1 particular friend when Amy turned 12 months old to stop. She would try and humiliate me and make horrible comments.

I know I'm going to get it again this time as soon as baby hits 1

 

[Palestrina]

* update *
My friend is now attempting to stop Breastfeeding after these comments had her in tears for days she asked her mother her opinion, the reply she got from her mum wasn't exactly what she wanted to hear. Her mum told her she was selfish because it was more for her than her LO and that he is going to be very teased by his peers if she carries on with school being started etc

There's been so much interest in this I thought I'd keep you all updated.

It's awful that her mother called her selfish, mothers can be so nasty to their own daughters.

However, there's no way around getting teased at school. Kids are vicious and mean under the most ordinary circumstances. As much as I want to be a lactivist I wouldn't want to force my kid to be a lactivist at the age of 4. So my question is, how would she help her child combat ridicule from his peers? If we're BF our children for their health and benefit, wouldn't we also want to protect them from the hardships they face in the schoolyard? Isn't that for their benefit too? It's a complicated issue, what is a mother to do?

 

[LoraLoo]

* update *
My friend is now attempting to stop Breastfeeding after these comments had her in tears for days she asked her mother her opinion, the reply she got from her mum wasn't exactly what she wanted to hear. Her mum told her she was selfish because it was more for her than her LO and that he is going to be very teased by his peers if she carries on with school being started etc

There's been so much interest in this I thought I'd keep you all updated.

It's awful that her mother called her selfish, mothers can be so nasty to their own daughters.

However, there's no way around getting teased at school. Kids are vicious and mean under the most ordinary circumstances. As much as I want to be a lactivist I wouldn't want to force my kid to be a lactivist at the age of 4. So my question is, how would she help her child combat ridicule from his peers? If we're BF our children for their health and benefit, wouldn't we also want to protect them from the hardships they face in the schoolyard? Isn't that for their benefit too? It's a complicated issue, what is a mother to do?

But how are we meant to change peoples attitudes if we all hide away once our baby turns 6 months, 12 months, whatever- whatever age society deems the acceptable time to stop? If children are taught that Breastfeeding is normal, natural, and indeed a very healthy and good thing, they would'nt ridicule, surely? If we, as parents, educate OUR children, we can only hope that the next generation- our childrens- won't have this stigma attached when it comes to them breastfeeding their children.

 

[Palestrina]

* update *
My friend is now attempting to stop Breastfeeding after these comments had her in tears for days she asked her mother her opinion, the reply she got from her mum wasn't exactly what she wanted to hear. Her mum told her she was selfish because it was more for her than her LO and that he is going to be very teased by his peers if she carries on with school being started etc

There's been so much interest in this I thought I'd keep you all updated.

It's awful that her mother called her selfish, mothers can be so nasty to their own daughters.

However, there's no way around getting teased at school. Kids are vicious and mean under the most ordinary circumstances. As much as I want to be a lactivist I wouldn't want to force my kid to be a lactivist at the age of 4. So my question is, how would she help her child combat ridicule from his peers? If we're BF our children for their health and benefit, wouldn't we also want to protect them from the hardships they face in the schoolyard? Isn't that for their benefit too? It's a complicated issue, what is a mother to do?

But how are we meant to change peoples attitudes if we all hide away once our baby turns 6 months, 12 months, whatever- whatever age society deems the acceptable time to stop? If children are taught that Breastfeeding is normal, natural, and indeed a very healthy and good thing, they would'nt ridicule, surely? If we, as parents, educate OUR children, we can only hope that the next generation- our childrens- won't have this stigma attached when it comes to them breastfeeding their children.

We can only fight one battle at a time. Right now women who are nursing their 6month olds are being ridiculed. I'm fighting the battle for myself and for other nursing mothers, that's why I'm NIP. However, a 4yr old has their own social pressures and their own lives to lead. I can't make him a soldier in my fight. Once we get to a point where it's normal to BF our babies and toddlers then we can take on school aged children. You can't ice your cake before it bakes. So while I agree that it's important to educate our kids, I don't think it's appropriate to make them sacrificial lambs. A 4yr old should not have to explain to his friends why he is BF, he is not emotionally equipped to do that.

 

[louandivy]

Oh your poor friend, that is such a shame I keep forgetting that I am in 'extending bfing' territory now with Ivy, but she doesn't even seem that old to me when I'm feeding her!

This country is so weird. You are basically told 'you MUST breastfeed because its the only good thing for your baby....but you MUST stop at 12 months because it is gross otherwise'

 

[cerrie311]

Personally I could not BF that long. Your friend can do as she pleases. However from a nutritional standpoint as long as he is fed a well balanced diet is the breast milk really necessary? I know in 3rd world countries they BF as long as possible because they have no choice, malnutrition is common. But like I said to each their own.