time for IVF or not yet?

[milena2015]

After two miscarriages, I am seriously considering IVF but part of me thinks maybe it's not the time yet. I'd love to hear from your experiences, maybe they would help me figure out my strategy. I'm 38, IVF specialist said my ovarian reserves are low (amh0.038). I had two miscarriages over the past year, the second one had chromosomal abnormality, turner syndrome.

Both time got pregnant from the first try, very easy. I already have a perfectly healthy 11 year-old (different father). Fertility specialist says my eggs are probably old, plus low ovarian reserves. With my current partner we want two babies, so ER says I should do IVF and freeze embryos for pregnancy in the future.

My OBGYN says I should just try naturally. I'm really frustrated. If I keep trying naturally and my bad eggs will cause another miscarriage I'm just losing time. But the fact that I already have one healthy child from a previous marriage makes me think, maybe I should try naturally and it will work... How do we make those decisions to go for IVF? Would love to hear any advice or your stories.

 

[TLK]

After two miscarriages, I am seriously considering IVF but part of me thinks maybe it's not the time yet. I'd love to hear from your experiences, maybe they would help me figure out my strategy. I'm 38, IVF specialist said my ovarian reserves are low (amh0.038). I had two miscarriages over the past year, the second one had chromosomal abnormality, turner syndrome.

Both time got pregnant from the first try, very easy. I already have a perfectly healthy 11 year-old (different father). Fertility specialist says my eggs are probably old, plus low ovarian reserves. With my current partner we want two babies, so ER says I should do IVF and freeze embryos for pregnancy in the future.

My OBGYN says I should just try naturally. I'm really frustrated. If I keep trying naturally and my bad eggs will cause another miscarriage I'm just losing time. But the fact that I already have one healthy child from a previous marriage makes me think, maybe I should try naturally and it will work... How do we make those decisions to go for IVF? Would love to hear any advice or your stories.

Such a difficult decision - I know as I am in a similar situation. If you really want 2, I would go for IVF - as TTC at our age seems to take that much longer and the older you get...well you know. I'm going to stick with the natural way, mostly because I already have a 2 years old and I don't have the money for IVF. So, hopefully we will get our BFP soon!

 

[Vonn]

These decisions are so hard, in part because there is not a right or wrong answer. There's just what works for you. If I was in your situation it would all be about money for me. You have a much better chance using IVF, esp if you do the pgd testing on the embryos. if you can afford it/have insurance coverage and are comfortable with being more invasive/aggressive, then I say go for IVF. But that's me, and you need to do what you feel comfortable doing. You could always dip your toe into the interventions, starting with some meds and or IUIs.

We are doing IUIs because we have coverage for 6. If they don't succeed, we'll be trying to figure out our next expensive step. The choice will likely be between IVF with my crappy eggs or IVF with donor eggs. We would have much higher chances with donor eggs, but that is tough for me to accept. I'm trying hard to come to terms with it because it gives us such a higher probablility of success.

There is nothing easy about htis journey. Good luck with your decision!!

 

[milena2015]

Thank you so much. I change my mind on this five times a day, depending on what I'm reading. I just worry that my ovarian reserves are getting lower and lower with each passing month, and the eggs are going "bad" and IVF specialists certainly make you feel like you can't do anything without their help. And I'm pretty sure that for many women natural way is the way to go. Good luck to you!

 

[milena2015]

Thank you so much. I change my mind on this five times a day, depending on what I'm reading. I just worry that my ovarian reserves are getting lower and lower with each passing month, and the eggs are going "bad" and IVF specialists certainly make you feel like you can't do anything without their help. And I'm pretty sure that for many women natural way is the way to go. Good luck to you!

After two miscarriages, I am seriously considering IVF but part of me thinks maybe it's not the time yet. I'd love to hear from your experiences, maybe they would help me figure out my strategy. I'm 38, IVF specialist said my ovarian reserves are low (amh0.038). I had two miscarriages over the past year, the second one had chromosomal abnormality, turner syndrome.

Both time got pregnant from the first try, very easy. I already have a perfectly healthy 11 year-old (different father). Fertility specialist says my eggs are probably old, plus low ovarian reserves. With my current partner we want two babies, so ER says I should do IVF and freeze embryos for pregnancy in the future.

My OBGYN says I should just try naturally. I'm really frustrated. If I keep trying naturally and my bad eggs will cause another miscarriage I'm just losing time. But the fact that I already have one healthy child from a previous marriage makes me think, maybe I should try naturally and it will work... How do we make those decisions to go for IVF? Would love to hear any advice or your stories.

Such a difficult decision - I know as I am in a similar situation. If you really want 2, I would go for IVF - as TTC at our age seems to take that much longer and the older you get...well you know. I'm going to stick with the natural way, mostly because I already have a 2 years old and I don't have the money for IVF. So, hopefully we will get our BFP soon!

 

[milena2015]

Thank you for your reply. I'm quite new to the whole fertility subject. We have started doing the tests, and don't have all the results yet for karyotypes, and for my hormones. I guess knowing more would help me make decisions. But I still have faith in my eggs It's harder to find a good one, I understand, but I think that hearing positive stories is so important. I think I'll go forward with completing the tests, meeting with RE specialist, meanwhile we're going to keep trying. It's just the prospect of losing one more pregnancy to chromosomal abnormalities is really hard. Best of luck to you!

These decisions are so hard, in part because there is not a right or wrong answer. There's just what works for you. If I was in your situation it would all be about money for me. You have a much better chance using IVF, esp if you do the pgd testing on the embryos. if you can afford it/have insurance coverage and are comfortable with being more invasive/aggressive, then I say go for IVF. But that's me, and you need to do what you feel comfortable doing. You could always dip your toe into the interventions, starting with some meds and or IUIs.

We are doing IUIs because we have coverage for 6. If they don't succeed, we'll be trying to figure out our next expensive step. The choice will likely be between IVF with my crappy eggs or IVF with donor eggs. We would have much higher chances with donor eggs, but that is tough for me to accept. I'm trying hard to come to terms with it because it gives us such a higher probablility of success.

There is nothing easy about htis journey. Good luck with your decision!!

 

[Hopethisyear]

I'm 39 and in the process of IVF now. I've had multiple losses in the last few years and kept trying naturally. I finally decided last December that I wanted to do IVF, by the time I went for testing, took supplements etc...it will be 6 months later we do egg retrieval and then another 6-8 weeks until Egg Transfer (we are doing PGD). I wish that I had started the whole IVF process a long time ago as I was not aware of what a long process it is. The older you get the less your percent of IVF working is (See Chart https://www.advancedfertility.com/ivf-age.htm) So if you are thinking of doing it, you can at least get the process started and keep trying on your own in the mean time and you can always change you mind. At least you would be getting started which I wish I had done 2 years ago. Good luck!

 

[vermeil]

I second that ivf is a long process so you should at least get that started. You an a ways change your mind later. But most clinics have a 6+ month long waiting list.and that's after you've met your doctor which can also take a few months.

I had my first at 38; took 7 months to conceive. He was a micropreemie but that had nothing to do with my age!

My second was born just before I turned 42, and was conceived via Ivf. I had 22 eggs retrieved (!). First transfer was a miscarriage at 7 weeks. I was borderline hyper stimulation so looking back we should have just frozen those first embryos. My body was so out of whack from having made so many eggs heh. First frozen transfer gave us our beautiful daughter. It took 18 months total after first contact with the clinic. And we are lucky, Ivf is 100% free here except for meds (around 800$)

Good luck! Wishing you the best

 

[hmommy219]

I know this frustration well!

You were only 27 when you had your first correct? That's a VERY big difference in fertility and egg quality. When I started trying for my first, I was 34 and my FS said the shell around he eggs of many women in their mid to late 30s is quite hard and difficult for the sperm to penetrate. We also had issues with egg and sperm quality as my hubby is in his late 40s.

When we went through with IVF we elected to have ISCI as well where the best sperm is separated from the rest and intentionally injected into the best looking eggs. This decreases the chance for abnormal fertilization resulting in MC. That is the bonus you pay for I guess when you go through IVF.

I would go with your gut on this. How is your health? Weight? Hubby's health? Do you guys feel that you're likely pretty fertile? If so, go natural for another 6 months. If you're worried, trust your instincts.

I wish you the best of luck!!