Tiny Rant: People are obsessed!

[Rebaby]

...with asking me when i am going to stop breastfeeding! And it's driving me insane!





Sorry, just had to get that off my chest there (no pun intended )

 

[nikkiangel83]

He's only 3 months old?!!!!!

I get really annoyed when people ask me too.

 

[anothersquish]

Im already being asked when Theo is going to be given formula...um...never??!!! then I get the "Oh but by 6 months he will NEED formula you know" oh really.....*rolls eyes*

 

[Rebaby]

He's only 3 months old?!!!!!

I know! Mad isn't it?! And the way it's asked it's as if he's 14 years old and not 14 weeks... Argh!

I totally sympathise squish...today i have been told i need my LO "well established on the bottle" before i head back to work in the summer and also that "he will be able to start taking things off a spoon soon"

I despair, i really do

 

[anothersquish]

I refuse to even speak to people about weaning....OHs parents are the worst "Oh well William needed solids from ten weeks you know, I bet Theo will be the same" Um...no....our other little boy didnt eat solids til he was 7+ months...how does what he dad needed more than 30 years ago have any bearing on what his son will 'need' now?! I wont let them alone with him already, they try to stick fingers in his mouth and no doubt would try and spoon feed him stuff from about 2 months old if I turned my back.
Though the funniest one was OHs grandmother who said "Oh, you are feeding him yourself then? Makes it difficult when you go out doesnt it?" Um...no...boob & baby....no problem....cant forget the boob as its attached and Im sure I can manage to remember the baby....

 

[madasa]

...with asking me when i am going to stop breastfeeding! And it's driving me insane!





Sorry, just had to get that off my chest there (no pun intended )

I would respond with, "Oh sometime before he gets married expect...." and then change the subject.

NEED formula? NEED to take a bottle?! NEED to take from a spoon? NEED solids at 2-3 months? Oh lord, I want to be sick

 

[Rebaby]

Yup, i get the same thing...which i can't understand at all, as personally the thought of washing, sterilising, and preparing ff and remembering to pack them before leaving the house makes my head spin, and don't even get me started on the notion of getting out of bed at night to heat bottles up...it makes me want to cry! I am sure that my laziness helps me to stick at breastfeeding through the tough times!

I just find it so tough to listen to sometimes, everyone raves to me about what a contented baby Toby seems to be and how big he's getting and how he's thriving etc but then in the next breath they're asking when i will give up breastfeeding him... I'm not very outspoken with family (either mine or OH's) as i like to just "keep the peace " but it's becoming harder to take as i become more passionate about what i am doing and how we're chosing to bring Toby up. I just keep saying "I don't know when we'll stop" and "He's doing so well on it" and "We'll see"...general vague stuff. And the weaning thing has my head in a spin as it is without people harping on about baby rice.

 

[Rebaby]

I would respond with, "Oh sometime before he gets married expect...." and then change the subject.

I have been brave enough to make a couple of jokes when people have questioned me about the co-sleeping (you know "aren't you worried he'll be in your bed forever?"..."umm no...i'm pretty sure he'll leave home at some point so that should put an end to it!" ) Not managed any witty comebacks re: the breastfeeding yet though.

I guess i expected to have to 'defend' our decision to co-sleep as it's still quite unheard of (or at least no one admits to it ) in our society, but when it comes to breastfeeding which is widely accepted to be the "best choice" in nearly all circumstances... i wasn't expecting to have to defend my decision to do it for as long as possible

 

[madasa]

Your other option is to say "Well I am aiming for minimum 2 years, as per WHO guidelines, but I'll stop sooner if he wants to." If they carry on, you could mention that you get a second "immunity boost" around the 2 year mark - a bit like the colostrum you get when your milk first comes in? - which is wonderful for the immune system. Maybe that will shut them up?

You would think that the fact that bmlk is the most calorific, nutrient dense, organic, fresh and CHEAP food available for infants, that people wouldn't question your use of it. My mind boggles.

 

[bunnyg82]

Argghhh see that's what worries me about breastfeeding - I say worry, I am 100% committed to doing it but I just hate people saying stuff like this.

It seems some people don't think it's natural to breastfeed. Our neice was asking how the baby gets food and my SIL said from a bottle. Thankfully hubby was there and piped up with "or from the boobie" and we made light of it in front of our neice so she can get used to the idea. I wasn't feeling brave enough to speak up at the time, I just hope I will have enough support around me.

It's so strange how people think as you get the above comments like my SIL said and then you get people who think that FF is disgusting and that you must BF but like as soon as you have started they think that is enough now, stop that and go onto FF - you just can't win with people can you! I wish they'd all just pipe down and realise we have two choices and whichever we go with they should deal with it.

We see our in laws so much that I am gonna find it hard if they aren't supportive!

Ooops went off on one then! x

 

[loz]

i get this all the time, im sure its because it annoys them that they cannot have him while i bf him, they always look really suprised when they ask if im still feeding him and i say yes

 

[madasa]

bunny - If anyone gives you any grief about bfdg, just remember you wuold STILL be geting grief (off different people) if you were feeding formula.

Sad truth is, it doesn't matter WHAT you do, someone, somewhere will criticise your parenting. There is only one right way, and it is the way they did it. Some people are just like that. Some people are well meaning and actually TRYING to be helpful. You can;t parent your children according to what other people think, so just do what YOU know is right for your kiddo... that's all anyone can do.

If you have done research and you have made informed choices, you can be confident about what you are doing. If you are confident about it, you'll get less grief.... and any grief you DO get will be more likely to roll off you!

 

[Seraphim]

I was shocked by this aswell.
BFing is praised, but that only seems applicable/acceptable for 6 months, and they need 'tastes' from 3 months!???

My MIL asked me last week if I'd given H 'a crust of toast yet'
(I did kinda shreak )
My mum has come up to speed on it all. Thank dog.

What helped me was when I sat and thought it through.
No cows milk until 12 months.
I hadn't made the connection to it being formula if you stopped BFing
Like hell am I busting my butt now with growth spurts etc to give formula later on.
As a result I've decided to take full mat leave - cos I have no interest in educating everyone (/man) at work about why I'm having to express.
Even for weaning onto food at 6 months you still need milk.
Full milk feeds to begin with anyway and EBM for cereals if you use them.

If someone persists I just tell them I'm happier listening to/trusting the department of health / world health org than their personal opinion.

I'm also tired of getting crap from people who FF (who talk of all this pressure to BF) about how my body's ruined... how I have no life... argh too much to hijack the thread with

 

[polaris]

I'm with you girls, it totally wrecks my head.

Baby rice and formula are apparently the miracle solutions to any parenting problem you can think of.

Baby still waking at night - give him a formula bottle before bed.
Still feeding every two and a half hours - clearly needs baby rice.
And then they tell me that their babies loved baby rice when they started them on it at three months, as though I'm actually being cruel by withholding this delicious substance.

I'm with you Seraphim - for me the opinion of the WHO which is backed up by numerous large-scale research studies carries just a little bit more weight than whether somebody else's baby apparently loved baby rice at three months!

Even if baby rice/formula would make Thomas sleep better (which I think is questionable anyway), personally I will happily put up with the inconvenience of feeding him a couple of times a night in order to receive the well-documented health benefits for my baby.

Rant over!!

 

[madasa]

I was shocked by this aswell.
BFing is praised, but that only seems applicable/acceptable for 6 months, and they need 'tastes' from 3 months!???

Yeah, completely illogical because your breastmilk taste sdifferent depending on what you have been eating.... Babies need "tastes" from birth, and bmlk gives them that. People are weird!

 

[AnnaBanana9]

I'm with you girls!

I'm really fortunate as I've hardly been asked when I plan on stopping nursing... and it's our 1 year milestone tomorrow!

Wish people would mind their own business and respect the parenting choices of others. As long as your baby is healthy, happy and safe, why should it matter?

xx

 

[anothersquish]

I dont even let people know we co-sleep....I cant be bothered with the hassle! Never mind that he sleeps a good solid 4 hours every single night (and as long as six hours) he never cries when hes put down, he sleeps in his crib downstairs in the day perfectly happily and I co-slept with my last one and he has been in his own bed in his own room from 18 months and is the PERFECT sleeper....all this "oh you will NEVER get that baby out of your room" business irritates the hell out of me especially seeing as Ive done it before and it worked brilliantly! In one breath they say how good my 5yr old is and how settled and content Theo is and the next its "You are going to breastfeed for over a YEAR...ooo thats....brave...." or "well he will need formula eventually" or "hes a big lad, he will need baby rice before hes 3 months old"
Im not sure why there is belief that formula and/or food will solve all issues with babies? My 5yr old never had formula or bottles and he didnt wean til past 7 months AND he co-slept AND I wore him all the time AND I never left him to cry AND I never used a dummy.....goodness whod have thought it was possible to have a normal 5yr old after all that?!

I am completely for people having their own choices with everything be it BF or FF, dummies or no dummies, co-sleeping or not but why some people take it upon themselves to criticise every choice regardless of what it is is beyond me. My children are happy so whats the problem....

 

[Seraphim]

The co-sleeping reactions is interesting.

I'm wondering if its the same as my 'vegetarian experience' (I don't call myself a vegetarian, but essentially I am - I didn't get the unnecessary scrutiny of my iron levels in pregnancy etc)

I have the feeling co-sleeping is HIGHLY common, but lots of people wouldn't consider themselves 'co-sleepers'.

I've just been talking about this with hubby... and whilst I'm happy to live and let live - I have serious concerns about how these issues affect all of us on a wider scale... see above about not wanting to deal with expressing at work whilst following DoH / WHO recommendations. Taking a career break is only the tip of the iceberg.

 

[madasa]

We always used to put DS to sleep in a crib next to the bed. He'd sleep for 4-6 hours and then wake for a feed. I'd pull him into bed with us and, as often as not, he'd end up staying there till morning. I think this happens A LOT with MOST parents but they would never admit to it! But it is, basically... co-sleeping. I do think it's a bit dangerous, and far better to PLAN to co-sleep from the get go, and arrange your bed so that it is safe for LO to sleep in it with you.

Maybe I'm just a cynical, paranoid, granola munching, tree hugging hippie.... but I think large corporations have got people convinced that their babies NEED cots and baby mattresses, formula, bottles, jarred/pureed food, baby rice.... and that is where some of the negative attitudes in society are stemming from.

 

[MandaAnda]

Reading this just makes me realise what I have in store for me (particularly with my DH's well-intentioned Nan who started DH on formula at 1-2 weeks old because his mum was ill [um, he could've benefited from that immunity if you'd left him to breastfeed] and gave him some Dioralyte then because he'd been "without BF for so long" [WTF?!]). I intend to BF as long as the baby wants it.

On a positive note (although I wouldn't move back there), I loved the attitude of my dad the other day, a typical man from the Deep South.
Dad: "So, how are you going to feed the bean? Are you gonna give him ninny?"
Me: "Of course. That's what it's there for, right?"
Dad: "Exactly. Good girl."
On my dad's side of my family (he has five sisters), my grandmother, aunts and cousins all openly breastfed with no shame associated with it. Many of them long-term breastfed. And when my father was young, my great-aunts, grandmother and great-grandmother would breastfeed each others' children (this was in the 40s and 50s). I love that I come from that.