Tips/advice preparing for baby number 2?

[Smanderson]

Hi all,

I'm getting myself all excited and anxious about preparing for baby number 2. I know things will be very different but I can't even imagine how it's going to be, what we might need that's any different or how my DS will react....

Any and all advice very much appreciated

 

[Willow01]

I found talking a lot about the new baby helped my toddler get used to the idea and him getting a present from her when we brought her home helped too. I stuck to my toddlers routine as much as possible too. The first 6 weeks felt like such a struggle, but we fell into our new routine and it's running smoothly now (for now lol!) good luckx

 

[Willow82]

Routine, routine, routine! Honestly, the first month was so so hard. We were in utter chaos and my son's behaviour was awful. Plus we had difficulty getting him to go to sleep when previously he had been perfect.

Once we got into a routine, his behaviour really improved.

Try to get him involved with looking after the baby, DS likes helping and gets frustrated when I say no.

Also, don't feel guilty about TV. DS has too much TV but it really is a lifesaver. I would hardly get anything done without it!

I also put DD in the carrier which enables me to get house chores done and enables me to play with DS and give him one on one attention.

 

[SpringCrane]

I'm still awaiting #2, so I can't speak to effectiveness, but this is what I'm doing... We talk about baby a lot. My son is pretty obsessed with the idea. He's big into pretend play, and we are constantly acting out story lines that focus on mommy/daddy/big brother/baby at his direction. We just change species (frogs, dinosaurs, birds...). He's already frequently found with a stuffed toy stuck under his shirt so he has a big belly like mommy. I plan on having a gift from baby and letting him pick one out for baby right before baby's due (or my mom will take him to get one while she cares for him during labor). They'll exchange gifts at hospital. I'm stockpiling "quiet activities"--either new crafts/toys/games he can do solo or I can help with using one hand while nursing. I'm still anticipating a lot of screen time... My husband will be thankfully home the first 4 weeks, so we are hoping that helps the transition a lot. We read books about babies and he knows how they have to nurse a lot, need quiet, will be held a lot, etc. Several of his little buddies have had baby brothers recently, so I think it's helped him see how these other families have grown and baby doesn't go away.

I'm constantly thinking about this subject! 2.5 year olds are so unpredictable in the most basic conditions, so I know new baby will throw a wrench in everything. I'm just planning on telling myself it gets easier and they'll (hopefully) have a lifetime of friendship to make up for a rocky start

 

[linzylou]

We talked to DD1 about the baby, and read books on the subject of new babies and being a big sister. Two of our friends recently had babies so she was able to be around them. We started talking way more about the baby about two weeks before she was actually born, about how mommy & daddy were going to the hospital to get her baby sister. When my mom brought her to visit after the baby was born, DH was holding the baby so I could greet her myself. We tried to make her feel special, saying things like "your sister wants to meet you," etc., and didn't pressure her to do anything like hold the baby if she didn't want to (and she didn't). The baby had a present for her, and she brought a stuffed animal for the baby.

Now that baby sister is here, DD1 likes to help. She gets diapers and helps with her bath and likes to pick out her sister's clothes for the day. She still doesn't like to hold her but she does a lot of cute things, like kiss her hands and feet, when she thinks I'm not looking. We look at pictures of DD1 when she was a baby, play silly games like where's the baby's nose/where's your nose, and do things while I'm nursing like puzzles or read books, but mostly she just plays with her toys by herself for a while. I also try to sympathize when the baby is screaming and I can tell DD1 is getting annoyed (although most of the time she just says "Oh no, baby Mariah's crying! Make her happy!"). Making sure we get to our weekly play group or the park at least, seems to help as well!!

That said...we do watch a lot of movies especially in the afternoon/evening when DD2 gets fussy, and DD1 just HAD to sleep in our room with us and the baby for the first week, and she's a humongous brat some days. It's slowly getting easier though.

 

[PitaKat]

We're only 2 weeks into it, but I'll tell you what we've done. My older kiddo is 3 and a half and seems to be adjusting well. He doesn't pay the baby very much attention, but what interactions they do have are all positive so far.

We talked about the baby quite a bit, saying it would come live with us when it was born. I try to make sure his routine isn't interrupted, though he's not super structured throughout the day, so that hasn't been too difficult. Since she's been born he hasn't really wanted to hold her, or even acknowledge her as his sister at times, and i haven't pushed it. I figure he'll come around when he's ready. He likes to be involved so i ask him to throw away diapers, get new diapers, pick out her outfits, etc. He really enjoys helping. Also, we refer to the baby as "our baby", as in she belongs to our whole family.

 

[PugLuvAh]

We kept his routine as much as possible.

We talked about what babies were like, how they are small, and only drank milk, and can't walk or talk yet. They cry and need held. We have to be gentle and give them lots of hugs. He loved being a helper, so we always let him get the diaper or a blanket for us. We always made a big deal of what a great big brother he was (which he loved to hear). He was usually pretty good about waiting his turn for things if I was feeding the baby. Once I was done, I made sure I put the baby down so he and I could play or have a cuddle. I ended up mastering the one-armed baby bottle feeding so I could have another arm around him

Once the baby was a few months old, we'd ask him to give his brother a toy or to make him laugh (he'd do a silly dance or make a funny face). Honestly, he really took to his new role and was so proud to show him "big boy" things.

We still say the same things to him now that he's 4 with his 2 year old brother. He has ANOTHER brother on the way next month...something he is very excited about.

The first couple of months are a bit tough, but once you get into your new routine it'll all fall into place. Good luck!