Tired of being told: "Oh dont worry about it you have lots of time!"

[Angel_blues]

No I don't! Granted I'm 26 BUT because of my job my chances of conceiving and it sticking (no pun intended) are lower... I hate when people tell me that, because they truly have no idea how wrong they are.

Ok vent over... Maybe...

 

[Angel_blues]

Back story might help: I am waiting for a doctors appointment, I can not ttc until I get the ok from that specialist. They told me I might not get booked in until end of February, so if they find anything wrong it may push our ttc back to end of August (instead of end or March)

 

[tcinks]

Ugh I'm so sorry, I know how frustrating that can be. I am 25 and recently had a miscarriage and was told to wait a few months to try again, and got the same "consolation" ...."oh you're young, you have plenty of time!" from different doctors/people. That doesn't help!

May I ask why you're advised to wait?

 

[LoveCakes]

My gp told me this at the appointment where she told me I wasn't ovulating and referring me to the fertility clinic at 27. Apparently she had her kids in her early 40s and her mum had her late 30s. Why bother telling me that her choices aren't mine. I felt like saying even if I did have a kid at last by 40 I didn't want to spend 10+ years watching my friends have kids around me.

 

[TwilightAgain]

Awww it is frustrating. Because in reality none of us know how much time we have or how long it will take. My biggest fear is waiting until things are right and then not being able to conceive relatively quickly.

 

[Angel_blues]

I am a welder, I potentially inhale a lot of fumes, chemicals and various metal dusts. I also lack some vitamins since I work in a shop with relatively no sunlight during the day. So lack of vitamins and nutrients and excessive "toxins" create an unhappy environment that could lead to multiple birth defects, mental illness and mc. But there are precautions (Which I have been doing) to have a perfectly healthy pregnancy. I need tests run and swabs done to be 100% sure I am doing everything right..

 

[Angel_blues]

My gp told me this at the appointment where she told me I wasn't ovulating and referring me to the fertility clinic at 27. Apparently she had her kids in her early 40s and her mum had her late 30s. Why bother telling me that her choices aren't mine. I felt like saying even if I did have a kid at last by 40 I didn't want to spend 10+ years watching my friends have kids around me.

I get this too! I get frustrated to the point where I have to walk away from the conversation...

 

[Angel_blues]

Ps: thank you ladies according to my OH I'm over reacting... Which also does not help... I would feel so alone if it wasn't for this forum!

 

[tverb84]

I don't think you're overreacting at all. I'm 30 and I worry about if or when I'll have children.

 

[Angel_blues]

Thanks hun I appreciate it! I'm sorry you don't have plans yet! I hope something happens soon for you.

 

[meg_bellamy]

Awww it is frustrating. Because in reality none of us know how much time we have or how long it will take. My biggest fear is waiting until things are right and then not being able to conceive relatively quickly.

I feel the same way

 

[Hb.x]

I got it all the time too - I was 21 when I had my first m/c. Granted I've since had a child, but we needed a considerable amount of time and medical intervention. At the end of the day, no one knows your circumstances, it's incredibly frustration!! I'm preparing for it all again now so I feel your pain!!!

 

[cupcake.]

I don't think you're overreacting.
I'm only 22 and I feel the same way. Noone has actually said something like this to me, but only because the only people who know our ttc plans are me and OH.

But even though I hadn't had to deal with this I don't think anyone should be told such a thing, because A: noone really know how much time someone has and how fast a couple will conceive and B: the decision of a couple to try to conceive and have a baby are noone's business.

Some people might feel like they want to wait until their mid 30s to start a family, others might want to be finished already in their mid 30s.

 

[Angel_blues]

IInherent wish people would mind their business... It hurts to have to explain my situation to people who don't understand!

 

[tverb84]

Thanks hun I appreciate it! I'm sorry you don't have plans yet! I hope something happens soon for you.

Thanks. Me too. I tend to worry about it sometimes but worrying doesn't solve anything.

 

[loeylo]

I know how you feel too. I'm 25, as is my partner. We lost our first baby when we were both 21, our second when we were both 23 and had an ectopic this year at 25. Risk factors go up year on year for miscarriage and ectopic, so if I'm having so much "bad luck" in my early-mid twenties, why exactly should we wait until we are in our thirties, when we are likely to have even more "bad luck" than we have now?

Some people are just insensitive and not understanding of other peoples circumstances. My partner even thinks we should wait until we are in the "perfect" situation to have kids - I think we are pretty damn ok tbh!

 

[Angel_blues]

I know how you feel too. I'm 25, as is my partner. We lost our first baby when we were both 21, our second when we were both 23 and had an ectopic this year at 25. Risk factors go up year on year for miscarriage and ectopic, so if I'm having so much "bad luck" in my early-mid twenties, why exactly should we wait until we are in our thirties, when we are likely to have even more "bad luck" than we have now?

Some people are just insensitive and not understanding of other peoples circumstances. My partner even thinks we should wait until we are in the "perfect" situation to have kids - I think we are pretty damn ok tbh!

I'm so sorry for all you're going through. I hope a baby finds you soon.

I hope I don't have issues... I guess I'll find out... I'm hoping once he meets his new nephew in February (6hours drive away) he will want to try when we get home... I want to try NOW... We could absolutely afford to have a baby first cycle and mentally I've been ready for 5 years. Waiting hurts at this point. Feel like a waste of precious time.