Tired of the comments

Discussion in 'Gender Disappointment' started by ElmoBumpToBe, May 17, 2016.

  1. ElmoBumpToBe

    ElmoBumpToBe Well-Known Member

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    Hi all, posting this in here just as I know more people who get me will read it. We have three wonderful boys and are finding out if we are having our 4th boy or 1st girl on Friday. We are having our 4th because we wanted another BABY not because we wanted to try for a girl, this is something it seems that people just can't grasp. They presume no matter how much you correct them all that you are trying for a girl. Don't get me wrong I have always wanted a girl and I did feel very upset when I found out my third son was another boy, but even if you had guaranteed me that this baby would have been a boy before conception we still would have desperately wanted him! It took nearly two years to conceive after a vasectomy reversal and because of that I had come to a point where I couldn't have cared less if we had another boy I just wanted another child so badly, it was such a relief for the first few months of the pregnant to not give a toss wether or not we had boy or girl, but the more people are going on about it the more the old feelings are returning and I'm starting to get scared at my reaction on Friday if we are having another boy (which I think we probably are) I just need people to stop with the unwanted comments, I know they mean well but I politely try to stop them and they carry on, "oh yea I know you aren't bothered but I do hope you get a girl"

    "Aw you NEED to have a girl"

    "And are you going to finally have a girl this time?"

    It just never stops!!

    I'll be glad when every single person I am even mildly aquinated with knows that we are having a boy and the comments can stop - hopefully!!

    Sonographer at 13 weeks said if he "had to say, and if we weren't in the room then maybe the parts are looking boyish"

    So although nothing is certain, I think maybe I have been kidding myself thinking that we could be having our only daughter.

    I ADORE my boys I'm just so so sad at people acting like boys are a huge dissapointment. If they could be just as excited about another little baby boy then I'm sure I could too.

    Thanks for reading bit of a rant really but think I needed to put it somewhere X
     
  2. Isme

    Isme Well-Known Member

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    I'm sorry. :hugs: That would drive me crazy as well.

    I'm dealing with something similar from the opposite end of things. While I will love this baby regardless of gender, I'm sick to death of people telling me we NEED a boy. We have two girls. Why can't we just want/have another baby for its own sake? Why does it have to be a boy? I would be over the moon with another daughter. I love my girls very much and I'd always pictured this baby being a girl-- even though I knew we had a 50/50 chance of either. I think some of it comes from the loss of our bonus/foster baby, who was a girl. My youngest misses her a lot and I know she desperately wants a little sister. But even if that weren't the case, I don't think I'd necessarily be pining for a boy. I've been a girl mom for 13 years, now! What bugs me even more is when I try to tell my friends all of this and they poo-poo it away and continue on with their boy chants. I'm over it! I know boys are great. I see so many cute little guys around and they do make me smile. But I don't even like to order anything new when we go out to eat. I'll look at the menus every time and still order the same thing. lol. Change makes me uncomfortable. :p

    I really hope you get the news you're hoping for on Friday, and that either way you're at peace and feel great about things during your ultrasound. I also hope that regardless of the baby's gender, these people will quit their crap. You already have 3 awesome boys and I'm sure that if this one is a boy, he will be just as awesome as his brothers. <3
     
  3. donnarobinson

    donnarobinson Mommy Of 3 Boys

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    I no how you feel Hun we have three boys and get it all the time even when j was pregnant people said oh it's shame ur having another boy I think it's so rude
    Good luck with your scan X
     
  4. ElmoBumpToBe

    ElmoBumpToBe Well-Known Member

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    Thank you both of you!

    Isme I know just what you mean, I think more than a baby girl, I would like the chance to be just as happy with a baby boy! People just talk over me, like I couldn't possibly be ok with another boy and I HAVE to want a girl. I can't hear myself think I'm not even sure how I feel about it anymore for the noise of other people's unwanted opinions lol xx
     
  5. GlitterStar

    GlitterStar Well-Known Member

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    I’m in the same boat I have three beautiful boys who I love to death. I’m not bothered about the gender I have type 1 diabetes and the risk of complications and things going wrong is much higher. Especially because my blood sugars were higher when I conceived this baby.

    I am so sick of people
    Presuming I want a girl once upon a time I did! I feel really stupid thinking back to my second baby where I felt
    Heavy gd. So so stupid thinking back my boys are perfect and I wouldn’t change them for the world. This is my partners first baby so we are delighted to have any gender just a healthy, happy, breathing baby.

    Our babies will be whoever they are meant to be sex is irrelevant. I am so annoyed about people’s comments in the past I’ve not told anyone apart from my family. I’m going to announce at 20 weeks once we have the gender to make sure nobody can throw in all comments. Although they probably still will. Let them do whatever because I don’t care I have my family and that’s all that matters to me. < 3

    I feel the same as you people totally disregard boys and seem not excited like they are for girls and it isn’t just my imagination it seems to be very prominent. It’s like when you tell people your having a boy they almost sigh and have an “oh well” tone it really gets my goat.

    My boys are amazing can’t wait for more adventures with them and to introduce maybe a 4th son. < 3
     
  6. Suggerhoney

    Suggerhoney Older mummy TTC our Rainbow baby

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    Awwwww im so sorry about these comments hon.
    Pregnancy is a gift and a blessing and people should just be happy for you not giving u hard time about it being a girl.

    We have been ttc for a few months now. We had a chemical pregnancy back in April and that was horrible. Ive had misscariges in the past so I new it wasnt going to end well.
    Im on CD1 again now and the waiting begins again.
    Im 40 so my chances are slim but I'm hoping if we are blessed again I will be staying team yellow. Im not bothered about the gender one bit.
    Congratulations on ure pregnancy hon take no notice of people Dont let them upset u
     
  7. Babybump87

    Babybump87 Mummy to my three musketeers

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    People will always be nosey and say insensitive things !!

    I got the whole,
    it’s gotta be a boy this time
    Do you want a boy
    Will you be dissapointed if it’s another girl
    Did you try for a boy
    You need a boy
    The girls need a brother

    Now that we have 2 DDs and 1 DS it’s now
    You need another boy
    Ds needs a brother
    Are you gonna try for a boy and have 2 of each

    It’s like oh for gods sake just mind ya own hahah . It just goes on and on no matter what !
     
    GlitterStar likes this.

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