To announce or not to announce :P

[BethanyNBump]

Hi everyone! I'm new to pregnancy. My wedding is coming up and I will be 12w. I want to tell our guests, but my first ultrasound is not until a few days later.
My NP seems to think that I am in excellent health with "an excellent cervix." However, I have not been able to see the baby yet... Even though the little bugger has been making me quite ill.
What do you think? Should I spill the beans?

 

[LoveMy2Boys2]

I can only imagine how hard it be to not tell anyone when everyone's there in one room..... But I kinda feel like you might want to keep it a secret for a bit longer so u can enjoy one exciting moment at a time make them last and each its own memory you don't get too many of these time..... Let them be separate celebrations ! Then again I doubt I could hold it in haha. Plus people might wonder why you aren't having a celebratory drink or few lol. Congrats and GL!!!0

 

[nicijones]

I would be inclined to pay for a private scan before ur wedding so I could tell the guests on the day!
Xx

 

[Moet]

I would only announce if youvehad a scan...just for your own peace of mind. But would be easy to tell everyone in one shot!

 

[skyesmom]

i'd also go for a private scan before just to make sure.

but on the other hand - having lost a baby myself, i'd personally tell it anyway even before the scan. for me i found it more heart-wrenching to explain to friends and close family that i'm devastated because i've lost a baby they didn't know about (and they had no time to joy the news, they've just heard the bad ones). keeping too quiet about the pregnancy in fear of loss, in the end when it does happen, it makes you live it all by yourself and speaking for me personally, it was a hell.

if i would have told my closest people before, at least we would have had some happy memories to remember all together (in my case only my best friend knew), and not just those hard hard moments of giving someone bad news. also, they had no chance to be happy about the baby, so it took a while for them to understand and acknowledge my loss as well.

but this is just my general thought on breaking the news since you have such a special occasion on your hands, i think investing a 100 quid in a private scan on top of everything that is usually spent for a wedding isn't really much to allow yourself to live such a precious moment!

i wish the best of luck to you

 

[SCgirl]

I agree with the private scan idea- that seems like a great time to tell all the people you care about at once!

If the private scan doesn't work, can you go to your doc/midwife and get them to check with a doppler just to verify, since they'll definitely know what to be looking for?

I ended up sharing at 8w after 2 scans, because I had shared the bad news several times, but never the good news!

 

[SCgirl]

Sorry- gonna be nosy and ask what you ended up doing! Congrats

 

[silmarien]

I had a MC in May 2014. Without a cycle we conceived this little bean (my hCG was already 0 in May). I didn't tell anyone except a couple close friends. It was worse to grieve with little support.

With this LO I threw caution to the wind and just went ahead and announced on FB at 4w5d. I figure if I lose the baby, I'll have tons of support. Already have an outpouring of support and people praying for me. It comforts me.

Everyone is different, so it should be your own personal choice. Just because etiquette from the 1950s says don't announce til 12-13 weeks doesn't mean you must follow it. But if it would make things worse to announce so early for your peace of mind, wait. It's a different process for everyone.

all round.