Toddler having unexplainable anger outbursts

[pinkpolkadot]

DD has the usual toddler tantrums when she can't get her own way although we do try to limit these by avoiding triggers wherever possible!

However she seems to have outbursts of anger at unexpected things and we have been a little worried about her, it's hard to explain so I will give some examples...

- this morning she asked for her halloween dress on from dressing up box, an hour or so later she asked DH to take it off so he did. This lead to an angry outburst of her screaming and running up and down.

- the other day she was excited about getting her dog sleepsuit on but as soon as it was on she starts pulling at it angrily, screaming and running around.

- she climbed into bed with us in the morning, asked to get under the cover and then gets angry and starts kicking and shouting in anger once she is in.

- she will put her backpack on which can fasten around at the front by the straps, she will moan for us to fasten it so we will and then she will run around and scream in anger that it is fastened.

It's almost like she gets overwhemled and can't handle things at times but at other times she is fine in a similar situation. I just wondered if anyone else had experienced this and had any ideas please? She won't say what is wrong either when this happens despite her speech being great, the only way to calm her is to distract her and she will eventually forget about it.

Thanks!

 

[cait]

Sounds like a normal two year old to me. I wouldn't try and rationalise it.
I think they just start to really feel all their feelings at this age and get so confused and frustrated with the world. Distraction is the only thing I've found to work!

 

[BunnyN]

Toddlers can get frustrated and overwhelmed more easily than adults and older children so it could just be a passing thing while she learns to deal with certain things like communicating what she wants to and getting over tired etc.

My sister would act very emotionally when she was little and it turned out to be a reaction to food additives. It would come on suddenly after she had eaten something that did not agree with her and pass after about 20 mins.

 

[pinkpolkadot]

Thanks ladies, yes maybe it is just a phase (hopefully!) while she learns to deal with her emotions.

I did consider food but she hardly ever eats anything with additives and she seems to be the same no matter what she has been eating, this occurs at least once a day. She gets plenty of sleep too so I don't think it is that she is tired.

 

[noon_child]

Sounds normal. We've had some of this type of thing - asking for a toy then screaming "No" and throwing it once she has it - although not recently (now 3yrs).

 

[hattiehippo]

Sounds totally normal for her age. 2-3 year olds are not rational little people who think things through carefully. They often want something then change their minds as soon as they get it and losing her temper is not necessarily a bad thing - its only by kicking off about small things that she can learn to control it and not overreact as much as she gets older.

 

[seoj]

It sounds like she just isn't sure how to manage her emotions at certain times- like pretty much all toddlers do.

My LO will ask for Milk, then I go and get said milk, then the moment I try to hand it to her it's "Noooooo milk"... then I try to put it away... and I hear "I want milk"- so I hand it over again and she takes it just fine like nothing happened?!?!?!? Go figure.

That seems to be more common with my LO- she doesn't usually throw a fit over it, but get's super fickle. And, sometimes frustrated when I can't read her little mind! haha. She does this with TV shows, food, clothes, toys... you name it. I think it's normal for her age though

 

[Odd Socks]

both mine like things to be absolutely right. DD1 can have an immense tantrum over a wrinkle in her tights, DD2 can have a tantrum over DD1 telling her that her hair isn't as long as Rapunzel's (to be fair, it isn't!). This morning, DD1 asked me to put a plait in her hair, I did & she screamed & cried because actually she wanted a ponytail.

2/3 year olds can be very trying

 

[noon_child]

I wonder if this is linked in anyway to the idea that children that age think parents can read their minds. This would make them very angry when we appear to not do what they want or understand their fickle ways. It also means they don't lie, as they think you know already! My daughter can now definitely lie, and we don't have this behaviour anymore. Could be totally unconnected though, just occurred to me.

 

[pinkpolkadot]

Thanks guys, good to know it's normal!

I wonder if this is linked in anyway to the idea that children that age think parents can read their minds. This would make them very angry when we appear to not do what they want or understand their fickle ways. It also means they don't lie, as they think you know already! My daughter can now definitely lie, and we don't have this behaviour anymore. Could be totally unconnected though, just occurred to me.

Yes that's interesting, maybe there's something in it!