Tom is officially slow:(

[Emmea12uk]

The physio came today and I asked if it was usual for him to not be crawling by now and she checked him over and said that it is unusual and he is on the slow side.

Now thinking about it, there are loads of things he doesnt do... he doesnt do much at all. He can do all these things physically, but just doesnt. I feel like a total failure. Have I spoiled him so that he hasnt learnt? Or is there something else underlying. he has always been mega calm and laid back...and now i am starting to worry that it is because there is something mentally wrong with him.

I feel awful. I should be prepared for this, but I am not. I always said i could cope with physical disability, but I dont think I can cope with mental disability.

Why do these things always come up when I am on my own?!?! When OH isnt here to support me

 

[cupcake]

my baby doesnt crawl either that doesnt make him slow hun, were there other things?

 

[AppleBlossom]

hun, it's not your fault. Tommy is not like most babies and so it may take him more time to do things. But neither of you are to blame, that's just how it is. Grace can't crawl yet and she's older. She can't sit properly for very long either. There might be a lot of other things, like talking (well babbling) that he can do that other babies his age, who might be able to do the physical stuff, can't really do. Hugs to you both x

 

[Nikkinoonoo]

Jessica still isn't crawling either hun just shoving herself around backwards with straight legs. All babies work at different paces, regardless of any disabilities. My cousin was walking at 9 months whereas my OH wasn't walking properly until he was 18 months. Neither of then are disabled, they just worked at their own pace. Try not to worry hun he'll get there and just because he isn't crawling just yet don't mean other developments will be slow. xXx

 

[Nikkinoonoo]

And poke your physio in the eye for saying that, she above all should know that ALL babies develop differently and the 'average' baby shouldn't be comparable to babies who have other obsticles to overcome. xXx

 

[Emmea12uk]

my baby doesnt crawl either that doesnt make him slow hun, were there other things?

yes, he just doesnt do much compared to other 8 month olds. He has just this week figured out how to lay down from sitting and roll front to back. he didnt start reaching for things until 7 months old. He is very very vocal. I wonder if that is where i went wrong. Daddy and me have been together with him 24/7 and if he winges or talks he gets our attention and we play with him. I never really left him to play by himself before.

One example is Bexy - you posted videos of Grace bouncing around on her arms months ago - tom doesnt do that. He doesnt get delight over anything he can do himself. He can't turn if there is a toy beside him, and wont even twist.

Another baby plays with muslins and puts them on her head, pulls it off and laughs.

When ever I say "tom started [...] today" everyone says, "[...] started that ages ago.

 

[Emmea12uk]

And poke your physio in the eye for saying that, she above all should know that ALL babies develop differently and the 'average' baby shouldn't be comparable to babies who have other obsticles to overcome. xXx

she didnt say it without be asking her whether he was slow, and she explained that it may be because all the time he is sick he is unlearning things and not learning new things. But he hasnt been sick much - about a month in total which onyl puts him back to 7 months.

 

[Nikkinoonoo]

Jessica is a month older than Tom and isn't crawling either maybe I should be worried then

 

[freckleonear]

Aaron didn't learn to crawl until nearly 10 months, but now he is walking and doing fine. Some babies never learn to crawl but go straight on to walking! He didn't learn to roll over until about then either. So I think your physio was silly to say that it's not normal.

Someone linked this article a while ago, it's very helpful explaining the difference between average age and normal age. https://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m0816/is_8_23/ai_n21053626?tag=content;col1

All babies do things differently, try not to worry as I'm sure Tom is doing great and you are certainly doing the best you can for him.

 

[brownhairedmom]

 

[Vickie]

You did say he was super-laid back which could also be a contributing factor. My nephew has a little girl like this and she is almost a year old and never crawled (is starting to stand up now). She also took until almost 7-8 months to even sit up!

 

[cupcake]

I dont know enough about Tom's condition but I do knwo you are certainly not to blame!
He sounds like he is doing the very best he can, and some things he is just cottoning onto a bit later that other babies. I think the woman was very wrong to tell you that he is slow.

 

[AppleBlossom]

I think Grace is a bit like Tom, a lot of people have commented on how laid back she is. Personally I think she is just going to miss out crawling forwards altogether, she just isn't into it. I think the physio was probably just going on the basic guidelines. But every baby is different and develops at different stages, disabled or not x

 

[Serene123]

He's 8 months old! He isn't slow atall. Aslong as you've been encouraging him, which I'm sure you have, then you're not to blame atall!

 

[maybebaby]

 

[1st_baby]

Cant belive she would say hes slow , seriously my sons cousin is 1 week older then max and he dose not crawl or babble yet hes normal , I didnt even crawl I got up at 12 months and walked ..try not to worry hun he will do things is way ..

** give a kiss to my lil tom **

 

[Tegans Mama]

Hun... I said to you earlier, our babies will always be different. There will always be things that other babies can do and our babies can't. Tigs can't sit up by herself. have you thought Tom's back may be stiff, which could be why he can't turn? Also, if his cord is tethered it is likely he won't be able to turn.

I know what you mean exactly about the whole '..did that ages ago.' Tigs started rolling over when she was about 5 months, but she's stopped doing it again now.. I would never say that Tom is slow. From what I've seen of him (and I can't wait to see more, see you next Tuesday haha!!) Tom is a few months in front of Tigs which he should be. I would probably have told our Physio where to go - which I have done once. You are entirely within your rights to request another physio, and if she has a bad attitude then do it.

I know we talked about this at length earlier, and you know that I will always be there when you need me.

 

[brownhairedmom]

If it makes you feel better, Renah should have been able to lift her head up around a month (like being able to get it off the floor) and she didn't do it until 4-5 days ago and she's almost 4 months now She skipped the beginning part and just went straight up into pushing herself up off the floor. So only almost 3 months late

He'll do it in his own time I know its hard when they aren't doing what you think they should be doing but they do it when they're damn well good and ready! Stubborn, really!

 

[alio]

When ever I say "tom started [...] today" everyone says, "[...] started that ages ago.

darling, i think we all get that! that's other mums for you... i really wouldn't be too concerned love. the fact that he's very vocal is a really good sign. some kids develop vocally much quicker than physically, and some tend to work the other way round.

Maybe now leave him to amuse himself a bit and so he can develop his skills a bit. xxx

 

[Linzi]

Every baby learns at their own pace hun. Seth hasn't been long crawling, and started well after all of the other babies we know, and he only just started sitting at 7 months when other babies had been since 4! But he was rolling really early. They're all different and learn at their own pace. I wish I could give you HV a slap for saying that to you it's awful!

*hugs* You've done nothing wrong, you're a brilliant mummy.

xxx