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Discussion in 'BFP Announcements' started by Jess1987, Dec 4, 2019.
I've merged your threads so all the responses are in one thread as duplicate threads aren't allowed
Thank you x
I agree with the other ladies. I would also say that if he decides to leave, don't be surprised if he tries to come back in to his child's life when they're older. If he decides to walk away, make sure you get the proper paperwork so he doesn't have any rights if he changes his mind later. Also, depending on where you live if he keeps the child with you for longer than 30 days you automatically have full custody. It's considered abandonment, under the premise that wherever the child was left was considered safe by the abandoning parent.
I have to say I disagree with the others - I do think you manipulated him and are in the wrong. You made a conscious decision to try and get pregnant and admit you seduced him when you were ovulating. While I agree he knew the risks and should be prepared for the consequences, it is different because he wasn’t consciously trying. I would be really angry - not because you ended up pregnant (which is equally your faults), but because of the intentions behind your behaviour. I don’t think it can be said you tricked him, as you both knew what could happen. I guess a kind of analogy would be that if you drink drive, you might crash the car. The more you do it, the more likely you would. But you’ve deliberately crashed the car, with him in it. He shouldn’t have ever got in there, but if he had known that was your intention, he wouldn’t have. hope that makes sense - good luck!
Asked my boyfriend, his response: " If he's mad about her being pregnant then he should have checked himself and not had irresponsible sex, if he's going to act like that then it's his fault it happened he can't blame her (you). If he keeps acting like that and doesn't care then just aim to get child support, Find someone who will support you and be happy with kids, Hes just trying to blame everything on her and that's really childish. Everyone knows that if you have unprotected sex there's a chance of pregnancy"
I told him the story including your boyfriend knowing that you were off birth control, the sex during ovulation part too.
I think the responsibility to practise safe sex falls to both a woman and a man.
Yes he should have used a condom but you also should not have done what you did.
You are now in a situation that you are both responsible for but that you hoped would happen. You did therefore trick him in my opinion.
Sorry if this isn’t the answer you wanted. I hope you are both able to parent this baby the way he/she deserves.
My husband's theory is that when a man gets into bed with a woman and doesn't dress for the occasion then he is taking responsibility for what may happen as he knows that no condom could lead to a baby therefore he doesn't have a leg to stand on by saying he was tricked because he had a chance to prevent a pregnancy occurring and he didn't do it.
As long as you were 100% clear with him that your birth control has ran out then the pregnancy is both your "fault" as a consenting adult he knows the risks, unprotected sex usually leads to a pregnancy.
Give him some head space, let him accept he made the decision to not use a condom and he needs to come to terms with it.
I'm interested to see what happened with OP. Is there an update?