Tricked into pregnany or helped??

Discussion in 'BFP Announcements' started by Jess1987, Dec 4, 2019.

  1. Jess1987

    Jess1987 Member

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    So i just need a little advice.. And came here for help.. Hope you dont mind.

    My partner and i have been having unprotected sex for 6 months. I have been off depo for 12 months.. He was very aware that i wasnt on contraception.. But still claimed he was done with having kids.

    A part of me wanted another child but i didnt tell him i did.. I knew unprotected sex it would happen anyway.. Without a decision being made by us both. If you know what i mean.

    Anyway.. Cut a long story short.. I told him i wanted a child and that i had insinuated sex a little more around ovulation time.. He was fuming. He said i had tried to trick him into having another child even though he didnt want one.. Yet hasnt worn a condom and was WELL aware there was a risk every single time.

    I told him i was going getting the implant and i was going to forget about the idea.
    But now ive just found out I'M PREGNANT!! I havent told him yet..
    What on earth do i do? Ive discussed the "what if" with him.. After id told him that i wanted one, and there could be a chance i was pregnant this month.. His reply was. "If you are, and you choose to keep it, i will leave" "i was tricked".

    Please tell me this isnt classed as him being "tricked" or "manipulative" as it's what he keeps saying. He CHOSE to have sex every time.. Without protection.

    Sorry for rambling on, and im not even sure ive posted this in the correct thread. I just REALLY need some advice
    Thanks in advance.
     
  2. HLx

    HLx Mummy to Layla, George & Enzo <3

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    Definitely not classed as being tricked, he knew the situation when you both had unprotected sex and that it COULD happen, it takes two to tango!
     
  3. Jess1987

    Jess1987 Member

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      • So i just need a little advice.. And came here for help.. Hope you dont mind.

        My partner and i have been having unprotected sex for 6 months. I have been off depo for 12 months.. He was very aware that i wasnt on contraception.. But still claimed he was done with having kids.

        A part of me wanted another child but i didnt tell him i did.. I knew unprotected sex it would happen anyway.. Without a decision being made by us both. If you know what i mean.

        Anyway.. Cut a long story short.. I told him i wanted a child and that i had insinuated sex a little more around ovulation time.. He was fuming. He said i had tried to trick him into having another child even though he didnt want one.. Yet hasnt worn a condom and was WELL aware there was a risk every single time.

        I told him i was going getting the implant and i was going to forget about the idea.
        But now ive just found out I'M PREGNANT!! I havent told him yet..
        What on earth do i do? Ive discussed the "what if" with him.. After id told him that i wanted one, and there could be a chance i was pregnant this month.. His reply was. "If you are, and you choose to keep it, i will leave" "i was tricked".

        Please tell me this isnt classed as him being "tricked" or "manipulative" as it's what he keeps saying. He CHOSE to have sex every time.. Without protection.

        Sorry for rambling on, and im not even sure ive posted this in the correct thread. I just REALLY need some advice
        Thanks in advance
     
  4. Jess1987

    Jess1987 Member

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    So i just need a little advice.. And came here for help.. Hope you dont mind.

    My partner and i have been having unprotected sex for 6 months. I have been off depo for 12 months.. He was very aware that i wasnt on contraception.. But still claimed he was done with having kids.

    A part of me wanted another child but i didnt tell him i did.. I knew unprotected sex it would happen anyway.. Without a decision being made by us both. If you know what i mean.

    Anyway.. Cut a long story short.. I told him i wanted a child and that i had insinuated sex a little more around ovulation time.. He was fuming. He said i had tried to trick him into having another child even though he didnt want one.. Yet hasnt worn a condom and was WELL aware there was a risk every single time.

    I told him i was going getting the implant and i was going to forget about the idea.
    But now ive just found out I'M PREGNANT!! I havent told him yet..
    What on earth do i do? Ive discussed the "what if" with him.. After id told him that i wanted one, and there could be a chance i was pregnant this month.. His reply was. "If you are, and you choose to keep it, i will leave" "i was tricked".

    Please tell me this isnt classed as him being "tricked" or "manipulative" as it's what he keeps saying. He CHOSE to have sex every time.. Without protection.

    Sorry for rambling on, and im not even sure ive posted this in the correct thread. I just REALLY need some advice
    Thanks in advance
     
  5. Proserpina

    Proserpina Mother of Dragons

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    My view on this is not popular, but here goes:

    Consent to sex is consent to potential pregnancy, with or without birth control. ESPECIALLY for men.

    Also, he knew you were not on birth control, yet he didn't use a condom or pull out or press you to track ovulation or do anything else that might have helped prevent pregnancy. Does he think there's a blue fairy that keeps women from getting pregnant if the man doesn't want another baby? Surprise! There's not.

    You didn't trick or manipulate anyone, he needs to grow up and realize actions have consequences and he alone is responsible for his choices.

    Grats on your pregnancy, I hope he warms up to it.
     
    Heather.1987 likes this.
  6. Jess1987

    Jess1987 Member

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    Thank you so much for taking the time to reply to me! I will be telling him very soon, i just need to get my head round it properly first. It just all seems like such a mess x
     
  7. Jess1987

    Jess1987 Member

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    Thank you for replying! I feel like its all just such a big mess :( x
     
  8. robo123

    robo123 Well-Known Member

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    I think he knows the risks and you told him you was not on protection. I think instigating sex around ovulation when he had said no more kids is a little naughty but he should have covered himself if he really felt that strongly. You can't get pregnant by yourself! Xx
     
  9. Bump288

    Bump288 Well-Known Member

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    While I don’t think initiating when you knew you were ovulating is the best when you knew he didn’t want anymore ... especially since he told you he would leave... but he also knew the risks as well and did nothing to protect knowing he definitely didn’t want anymore . Honestly I think you both played wrong parts in this, but what’s done is done, hopefully he is man enough to step up and care for his child regardless
     
  10. OnErth&InHvn

    OnErth&InHvn Waiting on Bee

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    Go ahead let him leave, his loss. Hes going to walk away because sex ed clearly didnt click in school.
     
  11. LuvKaya

    LuvKaya Well-Known Member

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    He chose not to wear a condom. How can he blame you?
     
  12. Heather.1987

    Heather.1987 Well-Known Member

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    Agree with proser. Even if you were on bc and did as much as you can to prevent pregnancy, fact is, you have sex, you risk pregnancy. There is no trick. Sex = pregnancy risk every single time. Congrats! Hope he comes around, if not, good riddance.
     
    Proserpina likes this.
  13. Lightning7

    Lightning7 Well-Known Member

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    I agree with you, it takes two, and if he definitely didn't want another baby he should have used protection! :shrug:

    Congrats on your pregnancy, and I hope that when you get around to telling him, even if he isn't happy at first, that he will soon come around to the idea :hugs:
     
  14. MiissMuffet

    MiissMuffet Well-Known Member

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    It takes 2. And you told him your feelings. If he wants to leave that's on him not you :hugs:
     
  15. smileyfaces

    smileyfaces Well-Known Member

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    Yep agree, if he didnt want a baby he should have taken steps to prevent it :shrug:
     
  16. Bevziibubble

    Bevziibubble Well-Known Member
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    He was aware there was a possibility. It takes two, so no I don't think he was tricked.
     
  17. Jess1987

    Jess1987 Member

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    Thanks for your replies! My head is just messed up with it all!
     
  18. Bevziibubble

    Bevziibubble Well-Known Member
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    It takes two! Hopefully he comes round.
     
  19. Bevziibubble

    Bevziibubble Well-Known Member
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  20. Bevziibubble

    Bevziibubble Well-Known Member
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    It's not your fault. He knew there was a possibility.
     

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