Trouble adjusting :0(

[maisemoo]

Hi,
I had my little girl 2 1/2 weeks ago and although I'm feeling alot better physically than I did last week, mentally I'm struggling to adjust to this new life.

I love my baby and we are bonding but I'm finding it exhausting having to deal with her 24 hours a day and night. She's pretty good, just doesn't sleep very much.

I feel really guilty because I have this beautiful baby girl that I've always wanted and I keep mourning my old life. I miss working with my boyfriend...we used to be together 24/7 and now I'm at home alone while he's at our work. I miss my friends at work too. I just feel really lonely and like I'm not coping with everything.

I'm going to try to join some groups to get out the house but Im very shy and the thought of having to make new friends just daunts me. I just want my old ones and my boyfriend back :0(

Does anyone else feel this way?
Xxx

 

[embeth]

I did very much so with my first. It does get easier. Really try and join some groups, I went to a local bumps and baby group with my first and nearly 7 years on am still friends with a few of the women i met there. I am really shy too so know how you feel. You could try like a baby massage course as its a way of meeting people but a bit more structured/less awkward!

Don't forget all your friends/boyfriend are still there, its just different now with lo! Hang in there it'll be fine xxxx

 

[klcuk3]

I felt like this after my first and even do this time too x I really enjoy my job and loved my work/home life balance. I second joining groups or trying Netmums to meet other local mums. This really helped me.

I do feel daunted by the prospect of a year of baby talk atm but know this will feel better in a few weeks x

 

[TatorMom]

I felt the same way when our oldest was born. DH had some adjustment too, although I felt it more being home. You're not alone. When people ask if it was harder to go from 1 to 2 kids or 2 to 3 kids, DH and I always answer truthfully...from 0-1 kid. You're whole life changes and it's a huge adjustment. It takes time to get used to, but I promise it does get better. Now I will say that DH was and is incredible, although I had to lay down the law when we had our oldest for it to be that way. Our kids are 50% his, we don't live in the 1950's, and I won't be stuck at home taking care of our kids day and night, so that he can go about life as it was before...oh HELL NO! He had/has as much of a responsibility to physically care for, watch, etc our kids and we both deserve breaks. Except when he was at work, school, or asked me if he could go meet with a friend(s) we were always together, and he's an amazingly hands on dad. At the time none of our friends we were close to had kids, but 99% of the time I'd come with DH and we'd bring DS1. Our friends adjusted with us too, and started having us come over to their places or ours, so it was more comfortable with us for our little one. DH would still go out for "guy" time, which I feel is vitally important, just as me getting time away from him and our kids is just the same. Naturally He/we stopped hanging out with certain friends, and there's nothing wrong with that. My parents also watched DS1 so we could get plenty of couple time. We NEVER EVER drank enough to be over the legal limit to drive after kids because no matter where we are, how close or far we are from our kids, we always need to be able to make vital decisions in the event they'd get hurt while my parents are watching them, etc. We really enjoy just relaxing, and often just sleep, BD, cuddle and watch a movie at home, etc when we have time away from our critters. Our friends have caught up and have kids now, and we've made new one's who obviously have kids. I'm extremely, painfully shy too, but DH has really helped me with that over the years. I've also naturally become less shy as our kids started preschool, activities, etc, since I meet other parents by default. I hate to say we seem boring, but we're so very happy. Having a child(ren) can cause you more pain and fear than you ever thought possible, but also more happiness and joy than you could ever imagine. Hang in there Hun!

 

[ladybrock]

I feel the same and wNdered if normal, my boys 2.5 weeks too.
Looks like it is normal guess se gota hang in a few more weeks x

 

[cat_reversing]

hey it's totally normal. You have just been through the biggest life change in having baby, it takes time to get your head around, yes it's relentless but it will get better, hang in there!
My first 2 weeks were the hardest of my life, I just couldn't understand how anyone managed to get through it but you know what...i'm still here and lo is 9 months now. Things gradually got better and more settled and I started to really enjoy lo, just wait til baby starts smiling at you when they get to about 8 weeks!
Eat well, drink water, sleep when you can, get out into the sunlight even if it's cloudy. don't worry about baby groups yet, go when you feel ready, i'm really shy too and still haven't taken baby to any groups yet but soon!

 

[jojo_b]

I felt exactly the same with my first too. Give yourself time - you effectively need to mourn your old life

 

[mercedybear]

feel the same way. Waited 2 years for my LO, now I feel like " I never get time to breath" especially when she wont sleep ( I am exhausted) and alone during the day. I have family visiting/staying soon, but not looking forward to that even though I feel lonely. I feel guilty that I am not "beaming" and instead feeling frustrated with my LO.